Orientation day

Posted on August 25, 2014 by admin

B starts school tomorrow. Real school, first grade. But we really have no idea what we’re doing. We applied last spring, got an enrollment packet from the school, filled out a dozen forms, and bought all the supplies on our list, but still, we weren’t really ready. We’d never even been to the school. It has a great reputation and a (relatively) convenient location, so it was our first choice, but we’d never been to see it.

But today was orientation day, so we were going to fix all of that!

We got a babysitter for Liam for the morning so Dan & I could both go, and so we would both actually be able to pay attention. The three of us headed over this morning (and encountered B’s best friend before we even got inside) for the new student orientation. It was a bit strange to me that orientation is just the day before the first day of school, but apparently, with so many students coming from other places in the world, many of whom are new to Vienna, there’s more benefit to waiting until the last minute, so that as many people as possible can be present.

The school looked great — big and clean and inviting. Most importantly, B approved. We met the principal, and got B’s school ID picture taken. We signed him up for lunch, registered with the PTA, filled out more forms, and bought B’s new gym outfit. Then we got to meet his new teacher and see the classroom where B will be spending his time this year! His teacher seems very nice, and the classroom looks great. There will be 22 kids in his class, and, aside from B, there are 5 other kids in his class who are also new to the school. (I was worried he’d be the only new one.) From the sounds of things, there will be a good mix of playing and learning throughout the day. We got to ask all of our questions, and I was very excited to discover that the teacher is very enthusiastic about having me volunteer in the classroom — and I’ll be able to chaperone field trips, too! (I expected to be able to do that with the preschool, but couldn’t, so I’m hoping B doesn’t mind if I do it a lot now.) I love the idea of being involved with him in the classroom.

We finished our orientation with a tour of the school. B liked the playgrounds the best, but I think that the library was my favorite. In all, we know a little more about what to expect, and a lot more about where he needs to be, so I think it was a very successful orientation. And tomorrow will be the FIRST DAY. (I’m pretty much freaking out about that, but I’m really trying not to let it show.)

Back to school anxiety . . . for me

Posted on August 18, 2014 by admin

I spent part of Saturday looking through the elementary school curriculum for B’s new school (which is helpfully supplied online). I had finished reading through the list of things which we need to bring to school and filling out the pile of forms required before school starts (emergency contacts, health history, school lunch forms, payment information, authorization for the administration of Potassium Iodide — gotta love life in Austria), and I thought I would take a quick look at what they’re actually going to be working on and trying to achieve this year.

First, let me say that I think teachers are AWESOME. And I mean that literally — I am in awe of them. Looking at this 134 page book on the elementary school curriculum, and realising that each teacher is basically trying to teach 1/7 of that book (the book covered pre-school, kindergarten and grades 1-5) to 30 whole kids every year was overwhelming. *I* was overwhelmed, reading it, and I only have ONE kid to worry about. I have no idea how they manage to teach all of that, plus have snack time, recess, lunch time, field trips, play time and so on . . . plus they deal with sick kids, field questions from parents and do 100 other things that I haven’t even thought of. I don’t know how they do it. (And this is at a well-funded private school with small class sizes.)

As parents do, I read the long list of tasks and goals for the year with Benjamin in mind (and, to a lesser extent, Liam — he’s not attending this school this year, but I’m keeping an eye on what they would be expecting of him at this school if he were going there). I started with the language section, which includes reading, writing, speaking, information collection and use of technology. These include some of the areas where I’m the most concerned about B keeping up with his class. I don’t really have an idea of exactly what’s expected for entrants into first grade at this school, but compared to my friends’ kids of the same age in the US, he’s behind. He’s not reading yet, his writing has only extended to single, capital letters (plus his name). Most importantly, he doesn’t like working on reading or writing at this point. I imagine that reading will sort itself out in the near future (I think that once he’s able to read, he’ll discover the joy of reading, and he’ll be off to the races), but I worry about it being a bit of an uphill battle, especially if he’s behind the curve. (I don’t actually know that he is, though. His school seems confident about his placement.) So, I worry.

And then I took a look at the math curriculum. In math, I’m not worried about him being behind. I’ve always felt like this was a strong skill for him, but I didn’t have much idea of what’s typical for a kid his age. But, he won’t be behind (he’s taught himself most of the skills through 2nd grade in the curriculum already). (And, looking at the kindergarten chart, it looks like Liam’s ahead in math, too.) And, that’s great. But though I would have thought that I would be able to feel great about that, I’m surprised to find that I’m nearly as anxious about the areas he’s way ahead on as I am about the stuff he might be “behind” on. Because, though I’m very impressed that he can add double digit numbers, and that’ he’s starting to do multiplication, now I worry about the challenge of keeping an exceptionally bright math brain (there, I said it) engaged and interested when he’s so far ahead.

I know I’m getting ahead of myself. School hasn’t even started yet. And, I expect to find that the teachers (who, as I’ve previously stated, are akin to super heroes in my eyes) have lots of experience and good strategies, for helping him with the stuff he needs to work on, and keeping him happy about the stuff he’s great at. But, staring into the face of our first year of “real” school, this mom is feeling just a little intimidated by the magnitude of the tasks ahead.

Summertime

Posted on August 15, 2014 by admin

Other than the few weeks that we spent taking turns being sick around here, I’ve really loved the way we’ve spent our summer. (And, even though I didn’t love being sick, I suppose the summer isn’t a particularly unpleasant time to be sick.) Lately, I wake up in the mornings, at a leisurely hour of about 7:00, and I’m full of enthusiasm to start our day.

Mostly, our days start with a relatively slow morning of breakfast and playing. I might build some paper airplanes, wash a little laundry, or help to track down a missing toy. Then, we go out for a walk, and usually end up at the playground for an hour or so. As the weeks have gone on, the playground has become more and more shaded. We’ve had more frequent rainy days, and the temperature has started to drop. The ground has become gradually covered with a layer of leaves. Yesterday, we spotted a mouse running across the playground, and we discovered him primarily because we heard him scurry across the fallen leaves.

Most days, we don’t worry too much if the laundry all gets folded, if baths get done each day, or if we manage to get to bed at a “normal” hour every night. We’ve let go of a lot of our schedule, relaxed a lot, and enjoyed the summer. I’ve been having a great time.

Our summer started at the beginning of July with 2 weeks of vacation, and we followed that with about 2 weeks of being sick. Then, it took me a few weeks to settle into this routine, so I feel like I’m just now getting the hang of this summer. And it’s about to be over — school starts for Liam in 10 days, and for B in 11. I can’t believe it went so fast.

Our summer focus

Posted on August 6, 2014 by admin

Right now, my house is a mess. The vacuuming hasn’t been completely done in weeks. There are massive piles of dirty laundry to be washed and several laundry baskets full of clean clothes waiting to be folded and put away. My kids have been spending a great deal of their time on the iPad lately. I haven’t been getting to the things on my to do lists, and things like blog posts and uploading pictures have been queueing up, waiting to be taken care of. I haven’t had an hour to myself in over 10 days, and last week I realized there had been a 10 day stretch when I didn’t leave the house, not once. Yesterday I locked myself in the bathroom to get 2 minutes — 2 literal minutes — to myself because the requests for water “in the other cup”, for an unbroken graham cracker, and for me to “make my brother stop kicking me” got to be too much at one point.

This sounds awful. Reading that back, I sound like a woman barely clinging to her sanity, about to lose it. Someone who might be suffering from depression or anxiety. Someone in trouble.

But the reality is that the housework is undone because I’ve been prioritizing getting in a walk for me, and an hour at the playground for the boys, every day. It’s been great for all of us. The boys have been spending more time on the iPad because we’ve recently found several educational math and reading games that they absolutely love. I haven’t been getting to the things on my list, writing as many blog posts or sharing as many pictures because I’ve been making a concerted effort to spend more time mentally present with the kids and less time multi-tasking. I decided not to take any time to myself this weekend because things at home were so nice that I didn’t want to go out (though I’m second guessing that choice after hiding in the bathroom yesterday). I hid in the bathroom yesterday because I recognized the signs — anxiousness, irritability, impatience — that I was about to vent my frustration and fatigue on the kids … so I took 2 minutes to myself in the only room that has a locking door. The kids didn’t even notice that I was gone, but I felt much better.

And all of THAT sounds pretty great. But it’s hard, because although I philosophically agree with the choices I’m making, living with the reality of it is a challenge. We’re enjoying our summer, though we aren’t getting much done. And I think that’s great, except when I’m stressing over the length of my to do list. I’m living with a messy house so that we can spend more time outside. Which is wonderful, except when I get twitchy over the dust bunnies. The boys are practicing math and reading. And that’s fantastic, except when I count up the hours of screen time they had yesterday and compare it to my idea of what it OUGHT to have been. I’m focusing on different priorities than I’m used to, shifting my strategy for the summer, and being as loving and nurturing as possible, which feels very good, other than when I’m hiding in the bathroom, which feels a lot like failing. I’m spending my energy on really important stuff, but I’m having a lot of trouble letting go of the other stuff.

On balance, things are pretty great around here right now, but it’s so easy to lose sight of that. I think that one of the hard things about parenting is that failing and succeeding can look a lot alike. That first paragraph looks exactly like so many of the overwhelmed/stressed/ freaking out posts I’ve written, but today it’s about working on feeling grounded, relaxed and focused on things I’m not used to focusing on. Looking around my house right now, it’s easy for me to feel like I’ve dropped the ball on everything, but I don’t think I have — I’m just spending my energy in other areas right now … and I think it’s a good trade.

Also, we’ve stopped B’s afternoon naps because he’ll be in school for a full day by the end of the month. The idea is for him to read or play learning games while Liam naps and while I do things like compose my blog posts. In reality, though, it’s turned into an hour where B sits and asks me questions about learning math or where dragons come from while I attempt to type a variety of increasingly fragmented sentences into my computer. Today’s blog post was composed entirely while teaching double digit addition. That is an underrated super power.

B’s birthday party

Posted on August 5, 2014 by admin

I sat down today to start writing about our summer vacation, and in doing so, mentioned Benjamin’s birthday party (the one with his friends). And then I realized I hadn’t yet written about THAT … and since that came before the vacation, that’s what I’m going to write about today. (And yes, we do a lot for birthdays around here. If you’re counting, B had one birthday party at school, one here with his friends in June — the one I’m about to write about, one day of illness hindered festivity on his actual birthday and one day at the pool with the family, which was supposed to happen ON his birthday but couldn’t due to the aforementioned illnesses. That’s 4. My plan is to start the vacation stories tomorrow. We’ll see if that actually happens.)

Last year, B really wanted to have a birthday party with his friends — his first. He wanted to invite his whole class (20 kids) plus some other friends, which was very sweet but also very impractical. This year, having a better sense of how birthday parties work here, I gave him license to invite 6 kids (one for each year of his age — stole that idea from a friend) … but he didn’t want to. He decided that he only wanted to invite his best friend and his best friend’s little brother (conveniently, also Liam’s best buddy from school). So, that’s what we did.

That changed the feeling of it from a party to more of a playdate with fun decorations and cake, which was actually great because it made the whole thing pretty laid back. The kids played. We parents talked. I encouraged the boys to play a few games we had set up, but mostly they played together really well on their own. The cake turned out pretty well (it was my first time attempting to serve a fondant cake to anyone outside of the family, so I was a little nervous). Good times were had.

My favorite part of the day was during the water balloon game I had invented — which was basically just an excuse to get the boys out onto the terrace and playing in some water on a hot day. There weren’t any rules, just some chalk drawings of pigs (it was an Angry Bird party) as targets for the boys’ water balloons. The idea was to toss the balloons, splash each other and generally to be silly. But it didn’t work that way. As it turns out, I don’t really have any idea how to properly fill water balloons. My first few attempts resulted in a soaked bathroom floor, so I took a conservative approach and didn’t fill them to capacity. Turns out, though, that underfilled water balloons are nearly impossible to break. So, the kids spent about half an hour attempting to break the same balloons over and over again. Every so often they’d manage to get one, but generally, it took 6 or 7 tries per balloon. I was worried they’d tear through them and be finished in 5 minutes, but that wasn’t a problem. It was generally hilarious. Luckily, they enjoyed the process (and the results) enough to not particularly mind. They remained both determined and entertained throughout, everyone got sufficiently soaked, and a good time was had by all.

Pool party

Posted on August 4, 2014 by admin

We finally managed to string enough healthy days together to go to the wave pool to celebrate B’s birthday — 16 days after the big day. When you just turned 6, and you have to wait for 16 whole days to celebrate your birthday while your brother, dad and mom are getting better but you’re feeling fine, it’s pretty tough to be patient and reasonable about it, I think. But B did great. He did get frustrated and cry and say a few angry things to me the third time we had to reschedule, but I completely understand (and I’m honestly glad to see he’s not TOO grown for that up yet).

This past Saturday, though, we were all well, and we had all been well for about 5 days, so we finally went. We finally got to splash and play in the pool. We finally got to go down the water slides. We finally got to float on the inner tube “river”. We finally got to have lunch and ice cream at the pool. We finally got to spend the day celebrating the way the birthday boy wanted to.

We had a wonderful time. We celebrated with our big 6 year old guy. We spent the whole day, all together. I spent some time playing with Liam while Dan played with B, I spent some time playing with B while Dan played with Liam, and we spent some time all playing together. It was a great day. My big kid is 6, we finally got to celebrate, and I could not be happier about it.

38

Posted on August 1, 2014 by admin

Last week, during the seemingly unending time of stomach illnesses at our house, I had a birthday. (It’s a busy time around here — Dan has a birthday next week, too.) I turned 38. I’ve reached an age where I honestly lose track of exactly how old I am (all year I’ve been thinking, “Am I 38 already or am I turning 38 this year?”). Now it’s official. Definitely 38.

And I’ve been so lucky to have had another great year. We’ve travelled, and we are truly enjoying life here in Europe — and I recently learned that sommerrodelbahn is some of the most fun a person can have. I absolutely adore spending my days with my wonderful boys who are growing up at an alarming rate and who are truly wonderful to be around. A year ago, I expected that I would be home by now, but though I do miss home very much, I am also grateful for the opportunity to enjoy Austria for a little while longer. (No matter how much I miss home, I know that one day, I will miss Austria, too.)

Most likely, this coming year will actually see us return home (though I’ve seriously given up trying to pinpoint anything), but, even more importantly, this year is going to see my boys continue to learn and grow, and I get to become an aunt, which I’m incredibly excited about!

Life is good. I am so fortunate. My days are filled with so much fun and happiness and adventure. And I’m so excited to see what this next year will bring. Happy birthday to me! 38 is going to be fantastic!

Benjamin’s birthday

Posted on July 31, 2014 by admin

Our first day back to “normal” after vacation was exhausting. I really was totally beat by the end of the day — I’d forgotten how much it took out of me to spend the whole day with the kids while simultaneously trying to get some laundry done, unpack from our trip and get everyone fed. Climbing into bed that night was so satisfying. I was so ready for a good night’s sleep.

Alas, it was not to be. B woke up, sick, after an hour. We spent the next few hours bathing B, doing laundry and mopping floors. There’s nothing quite like unscheduled, middle of the night housework! After a rough night all around, we spent the next few days taking care of a sick B and wondering when the illness would strike next.

Benjamin’s birthday was that Friday, July 18. By Thursday night, he was feeling pretty well, so we were hopeful that he would be able to fully enjoy his birthday. I (optimistically) baked a cake, Dan took the day off of work, and we stayed up late wrapping gifts and decorating a bit. We went to bed with our fingers crossed, excited for B’s big day.

But again, it was not to be. Liam woke us up an hour after we’d gone to bed, having his turn at the stomach illness. Again, we were up in the middle of the night, bathing Liam (5 baths in one night!), mopping the floor and laundering tons of bedding. In his case, the illness stretched out until morning, so instead of B waking us up excited and a little too early on his birthday (as is customary), Dan and I were just shuffling back to bed, well after the sun had come up, with our excited newly 6 year old put back to bed, just so we could rest for 1 hour.

Though my enthusiasm for B’s birthday was not diminished in the least, I struggled to have it shine through the haze of exhaustion that hung over later me that morning. My memory of him opening his presents is slightly befuddled by the fact that I hadn’t yet had coffee, but I remember how excited he was. I remember how well he took it when we explained that our celebratory plans for the day (a trip to the wave pool) would have to be rescheduled. He took it so well. He had actually already come to that conclusion on his own. There were no tears, no sad face. Just a quiet, unemotional, matter of fact, “I understand” that was more heartbreaking for how grown up it was.

And the rough start to the day didn’t end there. We bought the wrong squirt gun. It was the gift he had most been looking forward to, and though we got him a nice one, it was not the one he wanted. I got the wrong video game — it wouldn’t play on our console. (I feel like such a “MOM” … I didn’t know “Wii U” was a thing.) And through all of it, he was ok. A bit disappointed, but surprisingly ok.

From there, though, the day got better. He & Dan took a trip to the toy store to exchange the squirt gun (they were out of the one he really wanted, but at least he got to choose the replacement). We got to Skype with some of our family and got a surprise video message from others. He got messages and texts from (literally) around the world. Everyone got a long nap, Liam got three more baths, and B got to pick the movie for movie night. And, shockingly, everyone was well enough for a little bit of cake after dinner.

At the end of the night, Liam, who had not yet given B a gift (Mommy dropped the ball on that one because B had been sick all week), insisted on choosing a gift for B out of the things we already had in the house — which turned out to be one of the biggest hits of the day.

At the end of it all, B said, “I think this turned out to be a pretty good birthday after all.” I think that a higher compliment could not have been given.

Unfortunately, we went on to take turns being quite ill over the next week or so — it’s about 10 days after B’s birthday now, and we haven’t been well enough yet to take that trip to the wave pool, but we will soon. Regardless of how it was spent, B’s birthday was as important and as special as ever to me. It was not at all the day we had planned, but, on balance, it was a good day. I hope he felt celebrated. I feel astonished at his maturity and understanding. He is just so grown up.

For B, as he turns 6

Posted on July 29, 2014 by admin

First of all, how can you be 6?!? I feel like it was just yesterday, or maybe last week, that you were 4, and I’m certain it was no more than a few months ago that you were just 2 or 3. Time flies, as a mommy, and it’s astonishing to watch the speed with which you grow and become more and more a part of the world.

But it is WONDERFUL that you are 6! I love you, turning 6, with my whole heart. You are such an amazing little fellow. Shockingly smart, startlingly observant, with a silly sense of humor and a quiet, kind, and sensitive heart. As you grow, you become increasingly brave, and your energetic enthusiasm and intensely competitive spirit often leave me cringing in the face of whatever new challenge you’ve decided to attack and conquer, but also thrilled to see your spirit encourage you to take on new challenges. You are an amazing brother to Liam, and seeing you enjoy each other’s company and seek each other out as playmates have been some of my favorite moments as a parent so far. You feel things very deeply, my sweet boy, and though I see the difficulty of that at times, I also know how strongly you experience all of the good things that happen in your life, as well.

This has been a big year! You finished your kindergarten year, and have now left preschool behind you. A place that you were reluctant to enter 3 years ago has become a comfortable haven for you, and I am sad to say goodbye to it and to your teachers. You learned a lot there — your German is excellent, and you’ve learned to write all of the letters! You lost your first tooth this year, too, just recently, and you’re working on a second one. You don’t even realize it yet, but you’ve started being able to read a little, which is fun to see, and you absolutely blow us away with your memory, your sense for space and numbers, your creativity, your compassion, and your ability to make connections between ideas. You are a phenomenal boy, and you constantly amaze me. You tell great stories, and you remember EVERYTHING.

And you are getting so tall, so big and strong. You can wash your hands without a step-stool and so often your feet hang over the edge of your bed when you are sleeping. You can run and jump and climb and ski and sled and swim. You are an amazing guy.

I love you so much. You’re growing up and getting bigger, but you will always be my little guy. I love being with you, watching you try new things, listening to the stories that you tell, or just chatting about whatever is on your mind. You are a great kid and a really cool person. I am so glad to know you and incredibly grateful to be your mom. I love you, my wonderful boy. Happy birthday!

And . . . we’re back!

Posted on July 14, 2014 by admin

We had a great vacation. We saw some new (to us) places in Austria, had some amazing experiences (including one of the most fun things I’ve ever done — sommerrodelbahn) and actually got a chance to relax and recharge as a family, for maybe the first time. (We’ve vacationed before, but I don’t think we’ve ever really achieved “relaxation” before as a family.) It was truly a fantastic trip, and I’m going to write all about it, very, very soon (not like last year’s vacation, which I’m still working on writing about . . . and which I will also get back to soon).

But, for today, we’re back, we’re on a new schedule, and I suddenly feel like I don’t know how to be a stay-at-home parent anymore.

In retrospect, planning a pediatrician appointment for today, our first day “back to normal” (and it’s a new normal) was not the wisest plan. But, we were gone the last two weeks, our pediatrician leaves on Friday for her vacation, and this is one of those things that we wanted to get done during the summer, so here we are. (We also have a dentist appointment on Thursday, and at least 3 other doctor’s appointments to try to get in this summer.) Besides the pediatrician appointment, though, I just feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m home, with the kids, just me & them all day. And though I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for almost 6 years now, I suddenly feel like this is all very new again. How does this all work? How do I get things done? How do I shower? How do I go out for a run? How do I get the groceries? How do I manage both boys safely at the playground? How do I fold the laundry, go to the bathroom, or prepare a meal without someone getting hurt? I used to do this all the time — why don’t I remember how to make this happen???

But, of course, the challenge is that it’s not the same as it’s ever been before. Liam was never in school before this year, so this is the first time I’ve had him at home full time since he’s gotten used to that schedule. B isn’t napping anymore, so this is the first time I’ve tried to get Liam down for a nap while B is doing other things. Both boys are bigger and more energetic. They both have more need to expend their extra energy and more ability to injure each other while they’re playing. While they’re old enough to reason with (more or less) they’re also old enough to require a bit more substantive mental stimulation. And, for the first time, I’d gotten used to having some time on my own every day, so the loss of it is uncomfortable for me.

It’s fine, though. We’ll figure it out — we always have before. And I know that I’m not alone in this feeling. Parents everywhere are suddenly faced with the same dilemma — “Why is my house suddenly overrun by these short, demanding people, and what am I supposed to do with them?!?”

A Mommy Abroad

Our big adventure, as a family of three.

Category Archives: Adventure in Vienna