Progress

Posted on September 5, 2013 by admin

Yesterday was another great day at school. Liam stayed a lot longer (almost 2 hours) and played most of the time by himself. He went with the teacher to eat breakfast (without me) and stayed in the classroom for circle time while I sat in the hall. He had a great time and was totally comfortable. I was so happy that he was taking everything so well.

Today, he must have sensed that something was up, because from the moment we arrived, he didn’t want to be away from me. He was happy to play, but only if I played with him.

After about 45 minutes, his teacher wanted to try me going away and coming back later. He was not happy. He immediately started to throw a fit, and I didn’t even get to properly explain what was going to happen before they were rushing me out. (Which I didn’t like, because of course I would prefer to have him happy and relaxed while I was leaving, but at that point, I think I would have just been making it worse by drawing it out. Besides, we’ve spent lots of time over the past days preparing him for how school works.)

By the time I came back to get him, though, all was well. He apparently cried a bit when I left, and threw an absolute fit when his teacher tried to get him to have a snack (so they just skipped that for today) but he participated in circle time, and when it came time to play outside, he was very happy. As a bonus, Benjamin’s class was outside at the same time, so they got to play together, which resulted in two very excited boys (and lots of hugging).

B has still been doing great. He had a bit of a meltdown yesterday while playing outside when he saw a bee (a new fear after we got several in the house one day last week) but he did much better today. In fact, he told me that the moment when he saw Liam in the garden today was the best moment of his life and that he will never have a better one.

Although I do hope he does find even better moments in life, I can’t think of anything being better right now than the fact that he feels that way. I love my guys, and I’m so proud of both of them.

What have I done?

Posted on September 4, 2013 by admin

Yesterday, several of my friends’ kids started kindergarten, just like B would have been if we were living in the States. Seeing images of 5 year olds boarding school buses with sweet name tags and setting off for a familiar kindergarten experience got me a little panicky. Because now I’m wondering, what have I done to my kids? What am I doing to them by deviating from the “normal” (for me, as an American) experience? Now I feel like we’ve really turned a corner and stepped off of the path I know. Now it seems really real that the lives we’re living here are different.

My friends’ kids are going to kindergarten, on the school bus, in English, and learning how all of that works while mine . . . aren’t. Next year, when we’re back in the US, B will be expected to know how those things work (more or less) but he isn’t getting the benefit of being “new” right along with everyone else. They’re all expected to be new right now, to not really know how things work, and they’re all learning together. Next year, he won’t know, but he’ll be the only one.

Basically, I’m left wondering if the things he’s gaining by being here this year truly outweigh the things he’s missing. I’m freaking out a little. I hope I’m changing their experiences, not ruining them, enriching their lives, not making a mess of them, allowing them to learn new things, not setting them back. I hope, I hope, I hope. Only time will tell, really, but I also hope that as long as we all look at these altered experiences through the lens of “different, not less than”, that it helps.

(I also haven’t had a good expat freak out in a while, so I guess I was due.)

The second day

Posted on September 3, 2013 by admin

Today was the second day of school. For B, things are still pretty much the same — they haven’t yet gotten much into the Vorschule work yet — the only difference for him so far is getting to play with some of the big kid toys. I did get to chat and share a hug with one of B’s teachers today — I didn’t see her yesterday (extra credit for us because she speaks less English than I do German — considering that, we do pretty well). He is so proud and excited to be in Vorschule. I think he is really loving being one of the “big kids”, but still, he’s pretty used to being at school. He really does love it.

But for Liam, every day for a while will be an adventure. Today started the same as yesterday, with Liam & I playing together and exploring the classroom, but after a bit, the teacher came over and took him off to play on the other side of the room while I watched. He did so well. He put two puzzles together and played with cars. While they were working on the puzzles, he got up a few times to wander off, so Teresa (his teacher) would take him by the hand and bring him back, and he would happily continue. It was pretty neat to watch him be so relaxed and able to focus in this new environment.

While his teacher played cars with Liam and the other children, I got to watch the class for a bit. I really love this school. I’ve seen B’s teachers be kind, attentive, strict and playful, but it was reassuring to see that the same qualities that make me love B’s class exist throughout the school. One teacher sat and played with a girl who was there without her mom for the first time, while another (who speaks no English) worked through a game with a boy (who speaks no German).

Liam’s teacher gradually withdrew from playing with the cars, leaving Liam to play, quite happily, on his own with several other kids from class. It was fun to see him be himself, and play in such a relaxed way, with new kids. He seems very happy.

After we’d been there an hour or so, it was time to go home. He didn’t want to go (and if he had to go, he really wanted to take some toys with him). With reassurances all around that he can go back tomorrow, he reluctantly came with me to change his shoes and head home.

When we got home, I had one very tired guy. We’ll rest up and go again tomorrow. Good progress is being made. (And B can’t wait until Liam is around long enough to play with him in the garden. I can’t wait for that, either!)

First day of school

Posted on September 2, 2013 by admin

Today was the big day — Liam’s first day of preschool (“Kindergarten” in German) and B’s first day of kindergarten (“Vorschule” in German)! They’ve both been so excited for the past few days, and they woke up with enthusiasm this morning, too — B exclaimed, “It’s the first day of school!” as soon as he woke up this morning, and Liam, after scowling at him groggily for a moment, asked, “Do I get to go to school too?” followed by “Yay!” when we were finally able to answer yes.

After a whirlwind of morning preparations, and a failed attempt at non-blurry pictures, we were out the door and on our way. As soon as we stepped off the bus at the correct stop, B announced, “Liam, we’re at your school!” even though we couldn’t see it yet (he repeated the announcement once we actually could see the building).

They were so excited to be there together. B wanted to walk Liam to class, but he was so anxious to get to his own class that, after a quick glimpse at Liam’s classroom door, B was ready to get to his own class and we all went to drop B off at class first. B was so happy to be there. He gave his teacher a gigantic hug and then ran off to play with just a quick hug for me before he was off.

Liam was just as enthusiastic. He greeted his teacher with a “Guten Morgen!” and shook her hand (we’ve been practicing), and then he changed his shoes and hung up his coat and backpack. He was so happy. He jumped right into playing with cars, then trains, then Legos, then balls. He played happily with the other children (although he had no idea what to do when someone took a toy he was playing with) and even announced to a little girl, after they’d been playing together for a while, “You’re a friend!”

I think he’ll do great. In addition to making a new friend, we discovered that there are at least 2 other English-speaking kids in his class (one of whom is B’s best friend’s little brother) so that should help. After playing for an hour or so, Liam told me, “I love playing at school!” I’m so glad that he does.

We only stayed for about an hour, and I stayed with him the whole time (just for today). But when it was time to go, he didn’t want to leave. He can’t wait to go back tomorrow. His teacher gave him a little gift in honor of his first day, and he carried it home himself.

And B is in Vorschule now! He was so excited to get to play with some of the toys set aside for the bigger kids — he got to play with two of the Vorschule toys today (although, when I asked, he couldn’t remember which ones they were). He was so happy to see his friends and teachers again, and to get to play outside. He looked for Liam in the garden, but we’d already left by then. They’ll get a chance to play together soon.

Tomorrow, if all goes well, Liam and I will stay and play for an hour, and then, if he’s still happy, I’ll go away for a short bit before coming back to get him. We shall see how things progress. But, for today, I have two very happy, grown up boys. It was a great first day!

The end of an era

Posted on August 30, 2013 by admin

So, this is it — my last day for a while at home with both of my boys (not counting weekends, holidays, sick days or vacation . . . and then, of course, once we’re back in the US, Liam will probably be back at home with me again while B starts elementary school). I know it’s true of life in general, but I feel like it’s even more true since I’ve become a parent — as soon as I get comfortable with a routine, it’s time to change everything and start again. And that’s what this will be like. Nearly my entire life here in Austria has been ruled by the routine of B going to school and Liam being home with me. It’s my only point of reference, it’s the only way I know how to frame my experiences here. This Monday, things change.

And, although this particular set of circumstances is brand new, I’ve been through enough changes to know that this, too, will come with unforeseen challenges and unexpected happiness. I’m sad and worried to send my “baby” off to preschool (He’s so little! He doesn’t speak the language! How can he be away from me?!?) but I know he’ll be fine. We’ll weather the challenges that come up, and help him through. He’ll grow and learn and be awesome. And B (How can he be in Vorschule already?!? He doesn’t really speak German! What is he missing by not being in the States and having a “normal” kindergarten year?!?) is set to be a star. He told us at dinner last night that with all the stuff he’s going to learn this year, he’s “going to be a German machine!” Indeed.

Life goes on, and as it does, it changes. If there is one thing I’ve learned is that joy can be found in every new situation. It’s a choice, to be happy, to set worry aside, to not go looking for strife, but to choose peace. So today, on this last day of this routine, of this particular chapter in raising my kids, I’m choosing to enjoy this moment and to face what comes next with enthusiasm. Monday is a big day, but right now, I am so grateful for THIS day, and I feel so fortunate for the 5 years I’ve spent at home with my boys. Life is so good.

Migraine

Posted on August 29, 2013 by admin

Migraines suck. I went through a period in my mid-20s where I had them often — sometimes once or twice a month. They were debilitating. I had nausea, extreme light and temperature sensitivity, visual “auras”, tunnel vision, numbness, tingling and sometimes trouble hearing properly. If I recognized that one was coming and could take the medicine quickly enough (and keep it down) I could sometimes minimize the effects, but usually I was in for at least a half day of uselessness — laying in bed or on the floor and just waiting for it to pass.

I’ve been incredibly lucky to have had fewer migraines in my 30s, and only a couple since Benjamin was born, over 5 years ago. I don’t think I’d had a real, proper migraine since we’ve been in Vienna. Not until yesterday.

They’re as bad as I remembered (this one had no nausea, though, for which I feel very fortunate). It started with seeing spots. At first I thought I’d looked at an overly bright light, but I couldn’t remember having done so. After a minute, when I noticed that the spots were spinning, and multiplying, I figured out what was happening. I was out of the house though, and didn’t have any medicine with me (I used to carry it with me, but they’ve become so rare that I stopped). There was nothing to do but get home, but by then, it was too late. I had a migraine, and there was nothing to be done.

I hate migraines. They make it impossible for me to do anything at all. I can’t bathe the kids or read stories, I can’t play a game or watch tv. I have trouble sleeping. There’s nothing to do but lay in the dark and wait.

It’s good for contemplation, though, and what I thought about while I laid in my dark room yesterday evening, listening to bath time, story time and bed time happen without me, was how grateful I am (and I also thought a little about how miserable I was). I am grateful that Dan is here and available and willing to take over the entire evening with the boys, grateful that 99.9% of the time I feel great and I get to do all of those things, grateful that it wasn’t hot yesterday, grateful that my health is good and that my migraines are so rare. (I also whined and complained a bit in my own head about how much I hate lying in the dark in pain, because, you know, I do REALLY hate it.)

Today, I feel mostly better (although I find I’m slightly more forgetful and less articulate for a day or so after the migraine). I’m hoping that this will be my one and only Austrian migraine. That would be fantastic.

Getting ready for school

Posted on August 27, 2013 by admin

I still have lots of stories to recount from our recent trip to England, Scotland and Ireland, but I’m taking a break from that today for something much more immediate — school starts again next week. For Liam, this will be his first time going to school, but I suspect that his experience will be very unlike Benjamin’s. (B struggled through the first weeks and even months, taking a long time to adjust to being away from me. I give Liam 3 days before he’s running off without looking over his shoulder.)

They are both so excited. B can’t wait to see his friends and teachers again, and he is so excited to be a Vorschule Kind (kindergartener). Liam can’t wait to go to school “with Benjamin” (even though they will only see each other every so often, since they’re in different classes — I’ve tried to explain that to Liam, and I hope he understands). We’ve been busy with all kinds of preparations for going back to school, and this is the kind of stuff that’s always an extra challenge to do in German.

Over the weekend, we went shoe shopping — along with what seemed to be every other parent in Vienna. The shoe store was crowded with impatient parents and busy salespeople, and kids were leaving with lots of shoes. (We saw one girl leave with shoes, house shoes, rain boots, snow boots and socks. Busy day!) We were all a bit frustrated at the wait, but the kids were excellent. Once we’d gotten their feet measured, they each tried on just one pair of shoes they wanted (B chose his in the first minute we were in the store, while Liam had to consider the selection for a few moments) and declared themselves satisfied. We also got Liam his first pair of house shoes!

Today was for hair cuts. B is a seasoned expert, but it was Liam’s first salon haircut . . . and the English-speaking stylist was out, so we did it in German. B did great, selecting his desired hairstyle, climbing into the seat and sitting peacefully for his haircut. I was nervous about Liam — worried the stylist would cut off his curls, or that he’d become unruly and have to be left partly finished, or worse, that he’d squirm or thrash and get hurt. He was awesome about it, though — he sat quietly, followed instructions, tolerated the hair clips she used (to protect his curls!) and actually almost fell asleep near the end. The only person to get scolded all day was actually me — the stylist said, “Mama, nicht schneiden!” (Mom, don’t cut!) I’ve apparently been cutting the sides of his hair a bit short, and she’d like to let it grow out a bit. (No problem — I’m more than happy to retire my scissors. I’ll be the first to admit that I was unqualified, and also probably the most relieved.)

Over the next week, preparations will continue — we need to get house shoes for B, pack up ALL of the stuff for the first day (extra clothes, sunscreen, hats, diapers for Liam), choose outfits for the big day, and continue to prep Liam for the experience (both with regular information like how the day will go, plus a crash course in basic survival German). We’ve got a lot to do.

I’m excited because they’re excited, and because I truly believe that this is a great experience for both of them. B gets to be back with his friends, this time as one of the biggest fish in the pond, and learning more than ever. Liam gets to embark on a whole new adventure of friends, school, German, and playing outside . . . but all of it without me. I’m a little excited to have some free time for myself each day — not having to schedule my showers for only the hours when Dan is home, and being able to run errands unencumbered — but mostly, I don’t know what it will be like to be without either of my boys for part of the day. I’ve never done this since I’ve been a mom. It’s a strange sensation, and I’m hoping that a little more free time will be good for me (and thus, good for all of us).

It’s strange, too, to think about how different this week would be if we were living in the States right now. B would have gotten on the big, yellow school bus yesterday to start full day kindergarten (in English) while Liam stayed home with me. Having B at school for only half a day, with the same friends and teachers he already knows, feels right. Liam getting to go to school and experience this part of life in Austria, learning German and making friends, feels right, too. Right now, I think what we’re doing here is best for us. But for me, although getting some early “time off” will be nice (I didn’t expect to have free time until Liam starts kindergarten, in 2016), I doubt it will be as nice as spending the day with my little ones. I’m going to miss my guys.

Paddling pool

Posted on July 24, 2013 by admin

Our first summer here, we bought the kids an inflatable wading pool for use on our terrace. I can no longer remember what motivated the purchase, but, in retrospect, we should have realized that it would have been better in theory than in practice.

Back then . . .

That first summer, it caused more stress for me than I had anticipated. In addition to having to blow it up myself (always on a very hot day, of course — the best kind for such an activity), I then had to fill it by hand with a pitcher, taking dozens of trips back and forth between the kitchen sink and the pool on the terrace. At this point, the kids were naturally interested in what I was doing, so in addition to trying not to spill the water, I had to try to wrangle both kids in order to keep them in the house and out of the pool while I was filling it. (Liam, at this point, was not yet walking, and I could not have left him in or near the pool for even a moment while I walked back and forth.) When I would finally get the pool full of too-cold water, coax the kids into swimsuits and get us all out there, I was exhausted. Then, I had to keep a hand on Liam the whole time while worrying that B would slip on our slickly wet tile terrace. And, after we were done, I had to reverse the entire process — kids inside and dried, floor mopped up, and pool drained and emptied so the pigeons didn’t turn it into a massive bird bath overnight. The kids loved it, I didn’t, and we only got it out a few times that first summer.Such was my trauma at the hands of the paddling pool that we didn’t set it up even once last summer (although I kind of regretted that by the time it was fall). Yesterday was hot here once again, so I bravely decided to take on the paddling pool challenge once again.

. . . and now!

It’s as much of a pain to set up as ever — I had to inflate it, and then carry each pitcher of water (I needed over 20 to get a reasonable amount into the pool) from the kitchen to the terrace, trying not to drip on the hardwood floor. But, the kids are a little older, so the distraction I provided with the tv kept them from discovering my plans for a few minutes, and even after they did, simply asking them to give me a few minutes to get it set up actually worked (more or less). But, once I got it set up, it was an entirely more pleasant experience this time around. The kids actually participated in getting dressed, and they helped me find and collect the toys that they wanted. Once I got them in, they mostly wanted to pour water on each other and splash like crazy. At first, I tried to get them to keep the water IN the pool (I was a little too bitter from carrying it all from the kitchen to watch it go down the drain so quickly), but then I simply told them I was done filling the pool for the day, so they could splash as much as they liked as long as they didn’t expect a refill. It became not so much “playing in the paddling pool” but rather “gradually emptying the paddling pool”, but that was fine with me. (It also made for less emptying for me to do later!)It was glorious. They played together, splashed like crazy, got water everywhere, and I got to sit *in a chair* and watch them. Other than retrieving a few wayward toys that came near me, they needed almost no intervention on my part. They played for an hour, and had a great time, and only came in when they got chilly. (Actually, only Liam got cold — B would have stayed in longer.) They had fun and cooled off, and I got to just sit and watch them play. It was fantastic, and made every trip from the kitchen with the pitcher totally worth it. I think the paddling pool will return again soon.

37

Posted on July 23, 2013 by admin

Happy birthday to me! Yesterday, I turned 37. I had a great birthday, with cake, presents, my favorite olive bread, and cards made for me by my boys. It’s been a wonderful year. We’re finally feeling settled here, everyone is happy and healthy, and I’ve gotten to travel to some of my favorite destinations ever. I miss home, I miss my family and friends, but I love Austria, and we’ve really found our place here, and it, too, feels like another home to us.

And, the year to come is going to be a great one, too! We have more travel planned (mostly back to some of those places we’ve already been but liked so much that we want to go back) and, by this time next year, we will most likely be back home, living in the States.

I’m so grateful for this past year. I feel so fortunate to have had the opportunities I’ve had, and to be living the adventure I’m living, with a wonderful family, great friends and amazing kids. 36 was wonderful. 37 will be too. It’s going to be a great year. Life is good!

A fondant adventure

Posted on July 19, 2013 by admin

Last summer, while we were on vacation in England, Benjamin picked out and purchased a book about Angry Birds. This is not surprising, since he loves the games and the birds. In the book, among other things, there are many very helpful ideas provided for throwing a bird-tacular (or something like that) Angry Birds birthday party. Included in these pages are instructions for baking and decorating an Angry Bird cake. Ever since he first saw it, back in September, B has wanted that cake. Not a cake like it — the exact one in the book.

Last weekend, we threw a pretty fantastic Angry Bird themed birthday party for him. It was a cultural adventure, but it went great. In anticipation of the party, and with full awareness of my middling baking skills, we opted to purchase a lovely cake. It was, of course, Angry Bird themed, and even included an entire spherical Angry Bird (made of cake!) perched on top. And it was tasty, too!

And, although he loved the cake, this did nothing to reduce his determination to have “the cake from the book” for his *actual* birthday this year. It also gave me a very tough act to follow.

I believe in the power of being the birthday boy. I think that all reasonable requests on and for a birthday should be honored when possible. And so, with many disclaimers about how I am not much of a baker, and that I’ve never made a cake like that before (I’ve never worked with fondant before at all) I told him I would make my best effort at creating “the cake from the book”.

This is what I was going for:

Ever since I committed to this plan, about a month ago, I’ve been wondering if I made a huge mistake. I had visions of my efforts ending up, at worst, with a barely edible disaster, and, at best, with a grotesque project worthy of the “Cake Wrecks” site. Nonetheless, he wanted the Angry Bird cake from the book, and I figured I could at least try. After all, it’s cake! How bad could it be? I ordered the requisite fondant ahead of time (I was pretty grateful to learn I didn’t have to make it, especially since they don’t seem to sell food coloring in Austria, and I had no idea how I would tint homemade fondant). Part of me was hoping it wouldn’t all arrive in time, but it did.

The night before the big day, we made the cake (from a mix). After it cooled, I frosted it (with “strawberry” frosting — another request from the birthday boy, which I’m pretty sure is not actually advisable to ingest). Problem 1 — I haven’t made a layer cake in a while, and I didn’t stack the cakes the “right” way — instead of putting the flat sides together in the center, I put the top cake, convex side down, on top of the other one. Instant instability. Well, whatever. It would still be (relatively) edible. I put the cake in the fridge overnight because although I am crazy enough to try to make an Angry Bird cake, I am not crazy enough to try to do it at 1:00 in the morning.

Yesterday was the big birthday! 5 years old! Yay! While he played with some of his new presents, I set about preparing the fondant for my very first attempt at this. Following some very helpful advice I found online, I spread confectioner’s sugar on my work surface and added some shortening to the fondant. To make things even more complicated, the first one I needed to use was the red (no chance at practicing on something simple, like white). I kneaded it for a while (and took a guess on the desired consistency) and set about rolling it out. Problem 2 — Although the rolling went ok, I didn’t use enough fondant the first time, so I had to start over with more. Oops. Now I had confectioners sugar liberally mixed through my red fondant. Actually, though, after I got done with it, and put it on the cake, it didn’t look awful. For the first time, I felt hope:

I continued to follow the instructions. I trimmed it up, and then used the white . . .

. . . then the orange . . .

. . . and finally, the black fondant. And, after all was said and done, I have to say, I’m pretty proud of the result:

It may not have been a culinary masterpiece, but I’m pretty proud of it, and B was very satisfied. And Dan, who has been chuckling in my direction since I decided to undertake this project, had to admit he was impressed, too. The cake was a successful piece in a wonderful birthday. Not too bad for my first fondant adventure.

A Mommy Abroad

Our big adventure, as a family of three.

Category Archives: Adventure in Vienna