Boo!

Posted on February 11, 2015 by admin

As they say, sometimes it’s the little differences that are the most surprising when you’re living abroad. Not that the big stuff doesn’t throw you for a loop (it does) but the biggest differences are ones you adjust to, or at least come to accept, pretty quickly (because you really have to).

This past Halloween (yep, still writing about last October) was our most successful trick-or-treat experience yet. There were no tears during the dressing up process (though we did have a last minute costume change), we arrived at a reasonable (early) hour (before the slightly rowdy Austrian teens arrived and coated everything with silly string), we found our way on the first try, we had some very fun and friendly stops at a couple of super festive houses, we met a lovely Corgi named Wellington, and we met up with some friends … which gave us a good excuse to wander back through the neighborhood a second time. Both boys had an excellent time and kept up their manners and enthusiasm for the whole event (which was a first). It was a great evening, and the most I’ve been reminded of a true US Halloween since we’ve been here.

With one little exception.

On average, the costumes here are very much like what you’d see in the US, but skewed slightly less scary — more princesses and fewer witches, more Spider-Men and fewer mummies — I think at least partly owing to the fact that Halloween is just becoming a thing here, while Faschings (aka Carnival), is very popular and has children dressing up in fun but non-scary costumes, and many kids just wear their Faschings costumes for Halloween.

My spooky family

And, as often happens, kids’ costumes sometimes require props — wands, swords, lightsabers, broomsticks, etc. Several of the kids (mostly boys) were carrying realistic looking guns and weapons with their costumes. And that was the difference. Some kids, dressed as cowboys, police officers, or bandits, were carrying realistic looking toy guns. And I, with my American cultural background, was absolutely shocked. Actually a bit horrified. Here were young kids and teenagers carrying realistic looking weapons. Didn’t their parents know how dangerous that could be??? Weren’t they worried that someone might think the guns were real and, just maybe, hurt their kids?!?

And, in that horrified contemplation, I truly looked at my own perspective and realized what I was thinking. No, the parents here don’t “know” that those toys might be dangerous, and, no, they weren’t worried. Because they don’t imagine that anyone would mistake the weapons as real in a child’s hand, and that, even if they did, no one here is going to shoot their kid. There actually isn’t anything dangerous about those kids carrying toy guns with their Halloween costumes. NO ONE HERE IS GOING TO SHOOT A CHILD FOR PLAYING WITH A TOY. And sadly, that’s just not true where I am from.

Vienna by night

Posted on February 10, 2015 by admin

In Vienna, in the winter, so much of our time is spent in the dark, and in the summer, so little of it is. From sometime in November until early February, Dan and Benjamin are almost never home during daylight hours. From early in May until mid-August, my kids hardly ever experience darkness — they wake up and go to bed completely in daylight, for months on end.

The transitions to Daylight Saving Time and back happen at a different time here than at home, too. Not only does that give me two weeks in the spring and one week in the fall where I have no idea what time it is anywhere, but it means we have 3 weeks more of dark evenings than we had at home. This year, the Monday after the time change in October was a holiday (Austrian National Day) and we celebrated the fact that the whole family had a day off together by spending it at the swimming pool.

We were out most of the afternoon, and when we started to head home, it was already dark, thanks to the time change the day before. I found it particularly odd and a little disconcerting, in large part because, strange as it may seem, I am pretty much never out in Vienna at nighttime between April and October. Stepping out of the brightly lit swimming facility into the dusky evening was like suddenly stepping out into an unfamiliar city. It happens every year, but it always takes me a little time to get used to experiencing Vienna in the dark … and then once I get used to it, I get to spend months getting REALLY used to it.

Just last week, I picked B up from school and we arrived home with enough daylight that we didn’t immediately have to turn on all the lights — for the first time in nearly 3 months. It’s the first sign that we’re on our way back to seeing Vienna only by day and likely forgetting, once again, what it’s like here in the dark.

Kürbisfest for the fourth time

Posted on February 4, 2015 by admin

It is our longest running tradition here in Vienna, and we look forward to it every year. The annual pumpkin festival is one of the few nearly Halloween-like celebrations here, and it reminds me so much of the decades of pumpkin picking and carving I’ve done back in the US.

Over the years, we’ve gotten better at the whole thing. The first few times, it took us hours longer to get ready and get ourselves there than it should have, and we always ended up out there either very much over or under dressed. But now, we’re getting it. We know how to get there, we come prepared with warm clothes and big bags with which to carry home our pumpkins. We made it out there in the foggy morning (with the help of B, who acted as our navigator since he was learning about maps at school). We had faces painted, enjoyed our favorite Lángos and pumpkin soup, chose and carved our pumpkins, and played on the recently renovated playground (still daring, even by Austrian standards). And this year, we brought friends.

Elaine and Phil had been here nearly two years at the time (more than 2 years now), but this was their first pumpkin festival. They were amazingly good sports in enduring the speed (or lack thereof) and attention spans (or lack thereof) of the kids while we shopped, enjoyed and explored. We introduced them to Lángos, shopped together for pumpkin seed pesto and chose pumpkins. Then we all sat down to carve them together — it was Elaine’s first time! We finished out the day with some playground time (for us) and a warm drink around the fire (for Phil and Elaine). It was a great day.

The Kürbisfest remains one of my favorite annual Vienna traditions. It reminds me of home, yet is also distinctly Austrian. It celebrates autumn and helps us prepare for Halloween. It is a wonderful day spent in the countryside with a marvelous view of Vienna. And, getting to introduce friends to our much-loved tradition made it even more special this year.

Action

Posted on January 30, 2015 by admin

There are 10 principles of learning at B’s school, attributes said to be sought after and valued in the International Baccalaureate program. When the kids demonstrate one of these attributes during their school day, B’s teacher gives out armbands. B had gotten armbands for being a risk-taker (for trying something at lunch that he’d never had before), for being caring (for looking after a classmate who was having a rough day), for being a thinker (for making connections between a lesson in class and his life at home) and many other things. It’s a great bit of positive reinforcement, and I’m impressed at how well these paper bands motivate the kids. B is so proud when he brings one home, and I’ve seen the kids clamoring to get credit for one when I go into B’s class. To B, at least, the most coveted of all the bands is the “action” band, awarded for demonstrating learning at home, specifically learning related to the unit of study. The kids can get an “action” band for bringing in a book related to a subject of study, for doing an art project related to what they’re learning at school, or bringing in a related item that they found at home. (It’s basically an “extra credit” assignment, and it’s very open ended.)

Back in October, B had been very envious of the “action” bands the other kids had gotten and so he decided, entirely on his own, to make a glitter-glue drawing of the circulatory and respiratory systems, because that’s what they’d been studying in class. The first few days after he’d decided, he forgot to actually do it, but he eventually sat down with his glitter glue and paper and made a lovely picture of the heart, lungs, veins and arteries. He was so proud, and I knew his teacher was going to like it. I was so proud of him. He had conceived of and executed the entire thing on his own. It was a perfect choice of an activity to get an “action” band.

He had his heart set on taking it to school the next morning. After he’d gone to bed, I checked on it, and it was still quite wet, so, wanting to help him out, I moved his artwork to another spot, close to the fan, hoping to help it dry by morning. And, in so doing, I smeared the whole thing. I was horrified. I tried to fix it with a toothpick, attempting to push the globs of pink, gold, red and blue glitter back to their original spots, but it was no use. It was ruined. I cried.

When B got up the next morning, I explained it to him, and he was disappointed, but surprisingly understanding. I felt terrible. I suggested that he could take it in anyway, and explain to his teacher what had happened, or that I could go in with him and explain it, but he didn’t want to. He wanted it to be right. So, instead, he came home that day and started over. He took just as much time and care making it for the second time. And I left it completely alone while it dried.

He took it to school the day after, and got an action band for his work. He was absolutely proud of it, and I was profoundly impressed by his work and determination … and by his ability to forgive my well-intentioned mistake.

Glasses

Posted on January 23, 2015 by admin

I don’t remember the process of being told I needed glasses, so I have no idea how I reacted to it. I know that since then, I’ve been frustrated by it — often. I’m not lucky enough to only need them when I read, or just when I’m tired. In theory, I ought to have worn them every waking moment since I was 4. (I haven’t though — I never wore them while riding or dancing, and I took a nearly complete hiatus from them in middle school, high school and college.) I don’t like wearing my glasses, but I do like being able to see. Since becoming a mom, I’ve succumbed to the practicality and worn them daily, pretty much all the time. I’m used to them now, but I’ve never enjoyed them.

Needless to say, I’d been holding out hope that my kids might escape that particular curse. So far, I hadn’t seen anything to indicate any vision trouble in either of the boys — ever since they could talk, I’ve been asking them if they can see things at long distances away, with no trouble. But a routine vision screening this fall turned up something I never expected — Benjamin is a little bit farsighted. (I never thought to check for that, and it was unlikely to show up before he started reading, which also happened this fall.)

The process of having his eye exam done was absolutely horrible. The first part was ok, when he just had to look through lenses to get a sense of what helped, but having his eyes dilated, followed by having a light shone into them, has to have been one of his least favorite experiences — EVER. But, we got it done, got his prescription, and went to investigate purchasing glasses.

That was a bit of a challenge. When I was a kid, and tried to pick out glasses, I vaguely remember having a tough time making a choice. I couldn’t ever find something I really liked. B was the opposite. He knew EXACTLY what he wanted (maybe a positive by-product of having so many glasses-wearing family members), but most of the options they had in the style he wanted were too big for him, and the sales guy was really pushing for a different style altogether. Finally, the sales guy walked off to help someone else, and B and I were left with some time to experiment on our own (again, I’m a little grateful for my decades of relevant experience). Finally, he reached a decision, and I think it was a great choice.

Even though he acknowledges that they’re cool (and I agree), he’s a lot like me — he doesn’t like his glasses, and it’s been tough getting him to wear them with any consistency. He only needs them for “up close work”, but that’s a lot of what they do in elementary school — reading, writing, computer work, art. He avoids using them, though — and because he doesn’t have to wear them all the time, he gets away with “forgetting” to put them on. Given my history, I’m entirely sympathetic, and therefore I don’t push it as much as I probably should. He also says that they don’t really help him. It’s possible that’s really true — his farsightedness is minor, and it has to be tough to get a kid’s prescription right — but it’s also possible that he just doesn’t want to wear them, just like me.

Celebrating at school

Posted on January 18, 2015 by admin

Though it can be a bit hard to tell now (most days he hovers between being vaguely lukewarm and basically unenthusiastic about going to school), there were a lot of things Liam really looked forward to about starting school and getting to be just like Benjamin — field trips, Lanternenfest, playing in the garden. But none was so eagerly anticipated as celebrating his birthday at school (and yes, I’m still writing about stuff that happened back in September — I’ll catch up eventually).

Last year, which was his first year at school, he had a great time at his school birthday party, but having a September birthday, and being one of the first to celebrate, I think it was a bit overwhelming for him. I think he was a little uncomfortable with having the attention of his entire class focused on him. This year, though, he was ready. He knew it was coming, and he was really looking forward to it.

The way things work at the school (with parent involvement being limited to a few particular events each year), I don’t get to be there. (Since not every parent would be able to come to celebrate their child’s birthday, no parents are allowed to come. “It wouldn’t be fair.” Which is a bummer for me — getting to help out at the boys’ schools was one of the parts of being a stay at home mom that I most looked forward to). But, based on his stories, and on the pictures, he really enjoyed himself. He got to blow out the candles, have cake, be sung to by his whole class, and open up a few gifts. One, a stuffed dolphin, was a gift from his teachers, while a few others, containing puzzles, were from us and destined to remain at school, rather than come home with him. (So he didn’t get to KEEP those, just OPEN them, which he wasn’t 100% on board with.)

Generally, though he was so happy. He was so excited that morning that it was his big day to celebrate at school, and he was so pleased when I picked him up. As with the key chain his teacher made for him last year, he absolutely treasures his new dolphin. He spent days afterwards cuddling with it and singing to it. He was a very happy birthday boy, and he loved getting to celebrate at school. Nothing really says, “I’m so big” like celebrating a birthday at school. My little guy is getting to be so grown up.

Teaching My Monster to Read

Posted on December 11, 2014 by admin

We’ve read to the boys since they were tiny, since before they had any idea what we were doing, back when we felt silly to be doing it — we did it anyway. Story time has been a part of our evening routine since before the boys could walk. They love it, they look forward to it. “Brush your teeth or we won’t have story time” has been an incredibly effective evening motivator. But though they love to be read TO, and both boys have memorized, and love to recite, parts or all of some favorite books, we’d made almost no progress in getting them to actually read themselves. B could read his name, Liam’s name, “red”, and “toy” before school started this year. That was it.

I was a little worried. I know he’s only 6, and he’s been spending a lot of his mental energy over the past few years learning a new language (and probably teaching himself differential equations in his sleep), but still, I felt like maybe he ought to really be reading. After all, reading IS fundamental. All of the kids of my friends at home have learned to read in kindergarten (or earlier), and they don’t really do that here (the focus was on correct speech, rather than reading, which helped immensely with his conversational German, but not so much with reading English) so I was a bit concerned. Plus, I had no idea how to get it to happen.

When B started school this year, among many other things, I was worried he’d be the only kid in his class not reading. I shouldn’t have been. Very nearly half the class had a similar reading level to B, so he was certainly not the only non-reader. (Of course, there are also kids in his class who could read and write in more than one language — in more than one ALPHABET — so there was quite a spread of skill levels.)

Early on in the school year, we weren’t making much progress, and I was strongly resisting my urge to push, knowing that me adding pressure to the situation wasn’t going to help. I attended a morning training seminar at B’s school, geared at helping parents help their kids with reading . . . which did help a lot, and which strongly reinforced the fact that I shouldn’t be pressuring him. Around the same time, B came home with a website recommendation from his teacher. They’d been using “Teach Your Monster to Read” at school, and apparently, B loved it.

Over that weekend, we got B set up with it on the computer, and the results were amazing. Not only was he able to run the game almost entirely on his own, but he was READING. It started off with associating letters and sounds in a variety of short games where B could collect items to decorate his “monster” with whom he was playing the game. Over the course of the next few weeks, he moved through the levels and had a whole set of letter/sound combinations that he knew well. The game then began connecting the sounds into short words, and before I knew it, he was really reading and sounding out short sentences. Seriously, watching him actually read something on his own has to be one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen. (The website is free. I totally recommend it.)

We’re 3+ months into the school year, and B’s progress has been AMAZING. He’s moved on to reading longer stories, to conquering more complex words, adding new punctuation and concepts (contractions have been a challenge). He finished the monster game a good while ago, and there’s no doubt in my mind that it was a useful tool for him (and remarkable for me because it was the first time I really witnessed him reading), but I also know that the real magic came from the work that he and his teacher put in together. It’s been an amazing transformation, and I can’t believe it was only 3 months ago that I was fretting about whether or not he could read. He’s reading real books now. It is just the most amazing thing to see. He’s still working very hard, and learning more all the time, but he is definitely reading!

Circus

Posted on December 9, 2014 by admin

We’d been planning to go for years. Each fall, when the signs and posters went up, we’d say, “We should go!” but we never did. Last year, we decided we would go, and Dan was going to get tickets, but by the time he got around to it, they were sold out. This year, I was determined. The circus was coming to town, and we were going to go!

I didn’t really know what to expect from a European circus. Would it be more “Barnum & Bailey”, or more “Cirque du Soleil”? The tickets were pricey (which favored art, rather than tigers) but with a location only 5 minutes from our front door, we figured it was worth a try at least once.

On the big night, we walked over and had dinner from the vendors set up in front of the circus tents at the Rathaus. We didn’t realize that the seating (in our section, at least) was general admission, so we were late to line up and late to try to get to our seats. I was worried, but it turned out that this worked to our advantage in two ways. First, Benjamin got his sweatshirt hood filled up with candy by a passing clown on his way into the tent. Second, we were so much the last arrivals that the ushers (who, as it turned out later, were also performers in the show) couldn’t find 4 seats together, and after a few stressful moments when I feared we might not get to sit together, we instead were shown to a box! Good luck!

As the show got underway, it became clear that this was more towards the “Cirque du Soleil” end of the spectrum, with a live band, many acrobats, very skillful and impressive clowns and not a tiger in sight (probably for the best, considering the otherwise slim but real possibility of lions or elephants escaping and roaming around downtown Vienna). There were acrobats (whose mohawk hairdos were “splendid” according to B), roller skaters, horses, trapeze artists, a hula hoop girl and (my favorite) a guy who balanced a dozen or so long sticks together into a moving, yet perfectly balanced sculpture which he then disassembled by removing a single feather (it was cooler than it sounds). And the evening was finished perfectly by the cast inviting members of the audience up for a goodnight waltz.

A good time was had by all. It was a great first circus experience for the kids — though it did get a bit long and late for them, I was impressed at how they hung in there through the “artsier” bits. (If we go again next year, we’d probably opt for a matinée to make it easier on the boys.) It seemed perfect for a circus evening in Vienna, and I’m so glad we finally made it happen.

The Top 10 of the Top 5 Expat Bloggers in Austria

Posted on November 24, 2014 by admin

My latest post was actually a guest post on a fellow expat bloggers site. Check it out here.

Celebrating Liam’s 4th birthday

Posted on November 6, 2014 by admin

I love birthdays. I love celebrating the fact that someone I love exists on this planet and that I get to know them. My kids’ birthdays are my favorites — I get to reflect on how my little guys are growing, ponder the speed with which time passes, and spend a whole day celebrating their existence. We’ve developed a great set of birthday traditions in our family — Dan stays home from work, both boys stay home from school (for as long as Liam prefers to be home instead of at school for his birthdays — B, with a summer birthday, doesn’t really have to choose), the birthday boy gets to choose any birthday activity that he likes and he gets to select the meals for the day (and, of course, the cake and ice cream). I just love seeing how each of my guys chooses to celebrate their big day.

This year, Liam wanted to go to the pool. He was absolutely sure that he wanted to go to the pool and that he didn’t want a party — just family, and a day at the pool. Great! (The day before, he changed his mind and said that he DID want a party, but then he changed it back.) But, when he woke up on the morning of his birthday, after opening all his gifts, he suddenly changed his mind and decided he wanted to go to the zoo, instead. The zoo is one of my favorite outings in Vienna, and it’s absolutely fantastic in the early fall, and even better (and less crowded) on the weekdays. So, that was also great!

And so, to celebrate Liam, we went to the zoo. We saw pandas and polar bears and penguins. We saw the big cats eating their dinners (yikes!). We stopped for hot chocolate and chocolate pretzels and ice cream. The boys climbed and slid and spun all around the playground and we all rode on the zoo train. We had a great day. Most importantly, Liam had a great day.

And then, at the end, my very grown up 4 year old boy informed us all that it was time to go home, and we did, and when we arrived there, he very shortly passed out on the floor for an impromptu birthday nap. We finished the day with strawberry dinosaur cupcakes (by request). (I made, for the first time ever, strawberry frosting from scratch for the cupcakes. It was GREAT. The kids hated it. But the cake and the toy dinosaurs were a hit.)

My little guy turned 4 years old. We celebrated his birthday the whole day long, exactly the way that he wanted to. A good time was had by all. It was a very good birthday celebration. Yay for Liam and for turning 4!