Hello, I Liam!

Posted on March 27, 2013 by admin

Last week, on one of the few spring-like days we’ve had (and that was back when it was actually still winter), Liam and I went to the playground while B was at school. We were happy and excited to be outdoors, playing in the sunshine and fresh air. It was a relief for the cabin fever I hadn’t even realized we’d been feeling.

We definitely weren’t alone in that idea — the playground was overrun with kids. There were a few mothers there with their little ones, but there were also two separate kindergarten classes there to play. It was a zoo. Kids everywhere, running, climbing, screaming, playing, falling down.

Liam took it in stride and leapt into the fray. He didn’t hesitate, just climbed the ladder to the slide, investigated the status of the baby swing (occupied), and ran off to play on some of the bouncing/rocking animals.

One little girl, a few years older than Liam (also probably older than B) saw him and wanted to play. She followed him for a moment, and then invited him to ride on the seesaw with her. He did. They both smiled. He grinned and said, “Hi! I Liam!” She giggled and looked at me, so I encouraged him to introduce himself in German, so he smiled again and turned to her to say, “Heisse Liam!”

She didn’t respond, but they smiled and giggled and played for a few minutes, until she ran off to join another friend from her school group. We wandered off to swing in the baby swing (now unoccupied) until we had to go home.

I am always so thrilled to experience Liam’s enthusiasm for life, his boldness, his confidence. He is so brave, so open and easygoing. He loves to connect with people, and is unfazed by bumps in the road. It’s shocking and amazing to see him use German, although he’s yet to actually be taught. (He seems to absorb it straight out of the air, by osmosis, although I imagine it’s more likely true that he’s picking it up from Benjamin . . . which is actually equally cool.) He’s such a great little guy. He inspires me. I learn from him to embrace more and worry less . . . except when I’m worrying exactly about him being so fearless.

Because love is fantastic and life is hard

Posted on March 26, 2013 by admin

I have two boys, who I love more than anything in the entire world. I was made to be their mama, and I am profoundly grateful that I have that honor. They light up my days with love and joy. Watching them learn and grow and become more of who they are each day is an amazing blessing. I am so lucky.

It is my most desperate hope that one day, they grow up to be kind, strong, intelligent, happy, peaceful, loving men. I hope they have lives that fill them with joy. I hope they live such wonderful, exuberant, amazing lives bursting with passion that they don’t think to call me every day. And I hope they are loved. I hope they find someone who sees the fantastically wonderful people that they are and who feel as lucky to be in their lives as I do.

Because, love is fantastic. And because life is hard. Stuff happens. Things get tough, hearts get broken, people suffer and struggle. And we are all saved by the people who carry us through that. We ALL need each other. Each of us gets to, if we’re lucky enough to find them, choose that one other person we need beside us on those darkest days — and the one we want to share the gorgeous, transcendent, bliss-filled moments with, too. We ALL get to choose. And that choice, once made, should be equal, in the eyes of the law, whoever is making it and whoever they choose.

Equal. The SAME. Not “equivalent”.

Because, people, life is hard and we need each other. Nobody should have to do it alone and nobody gets an asterisk for “almost but not quite”. Whatever the future holds for my boys, my friends, my friends’ children, their friends and millions of others that I’ll never know, I want them to get to share their love, and their life, with the person they choose.

Frankly, I hope my kids grow up to read this and fail to understand the need to talk about marriage equality. I hope they think that this discussion is ludicrous, because, in the world they inhabit, it will hopefully make no sense to them. I hope that my children will inherit a world where this argument is antiquated, embarrassing and recognized as being fed only by hate and unfounded fear.

I’m an American, and I believe in freedom of religion. I believe this also grants us freedom from religion. The separation of Church and State ought to guarantee that the outdated morality of much of our citizenry cannot dictate the law of our nation. Marriage, as defined by the Church, is the business of the Church (although hate and exclusion have no place there, either). But marriage, as defined by the State, belongs to all of us. Equally.

Night sledding

Posted on March 21, 2013 by admin

After our train ride to Salzburg (more about that later), we picked up our rental car and drove south, into the mountains. This area, which is south of Salzburg, at the northern edge of the Alps, and full of mountains and valleys, is as beautiful as we remembered. As we drove through the valley, we had some rain, mixed with a little snow, but we could see, further up the mountainsides, that the trees were still flocked with snow, and the clearings were completely white.

As we climbed up the hill to our destination, the rain/snow mix turned to all snow. The trees were covered, and all of the grassy areas had several inches of accumulation. Suddenly, it was winter again. The last time we were here, we got to experience the first snow of the season, and we came back to more.

We arrived and got settled into our awesome place. Everything is warm and cozy. We placed our order for farm-fresh (as in, from the backyard) eggs and milk for morning and our hosts brought us got coffee and cake. Bolstered by warm beverages, we headed back out, into the snow for some sledding in the dark.

We didn’t go far — just to the top of the hill in the play area beside the inn. Despite the (sometimes heavy) snow, it wasn’t too cold . . . which was fortunate, as I hadn’t expected to go sledding and I didn’t bring snow pants or insulated gloves for anyone. It was just a short hill, barely steep enough to work, but fun and easy for the boys. They loved it.

We played, pulling the sleds up and sliding down, giggling boys and happy parents. We took breaks to slide down the slide, make snow angels, throw snowballs, ride on the seesaw and play on the swings. The snow would pause, for just a few moments, and the moonlight would break through the clouds. It was peaceful and fun. It was one of those crazy, rare moments where we’re all happy and relaxed and truly enjoying each other. It was an excellent way to start our long weekend here. And, whatever else we do over the next few days, the trip was already entirely worth it.

The best laid plans

Posted on March 19, 2013 by admin

A good friend of mine, Krishana, who we haven’t seen in a while, texted me today. She was going to be in our neighborhood (literally across the street) this afternoon and wanted to know if we wanted to meet up while she was there. She was planning to arrive right in the middle of the boys’ nap time, but she graciously offered to change her plans to be able to see us, so we made a plan to get together after nap time. Perfect!

First, I made the mistake of *telling* the boys that we were going to meet her after nap time. Their tandem response was, “Krishana! We love her!” Note: never tell your kids ANYTHING exciting that is going to happen after nap time, because it will take forever to get them down and the nap will last 5 minutes. And that’s exactly what happened. The kids are usually great about taking (typically short) naps — they lay down willingly and stay down quietly for about an hour (sometimes longer). Today, it took me 45 minutes to get them to sleep and Benjamin wanted to get up literally 5 minutes after he closed his eyes.

So, instead of the kids being well-rested and having half an hour or so to wake up and get ready to meet our friend, they woke up at pretty much the exact moment we needed to start getting ready to get out the door if we were going to be on time. And they were cranky. Benjamin was grumpy. Liam cried whenever I tried to touch him. Bravely, I continued onward — I told them we’d need to start getting dressed in 2 minutes in order to get out the door on time. More crying. More grumpiness. I was getting stressed and frustrated. I didn’t want to be late, but I also didn’t want the kids to be miserable.

And then, I looked at the boys, imagined the amount of accommodation they would have to make, for my sake, to make the plans work, and realized, “It’s just not going to happen today.” As much as I wanted to see Krishana, to catch up and hang out, I was also very aware that getting to see her wouldn’t be as great — for anyone — if the boys were crying and miserable.

So, against all of my perfectionist mommy instincts, ignoring my internal self-scolding for blowing her off after she adjusted her plans around *our* schedule, I cancelled. That is so not me.

But, it was really pretty functional. Although I was disappointed and a little wistful that she was so close by, but we were unable to see her, I knew it was the right decision. The kids were tired, cranky and frazzled. I was in my overly rigid mommy mind where everything HAS to go a certain way and I get critical of myself and the kids when things go a bit off the rails. I get like that sometimes — more focused on how it “has” to be, instead of on how to make the best of the current situation — and I’m starting to learn to see that as a warning that I’m really not seeing things the right way.

I was bummed. So were the boys. (And, I’m guessing, so was Krishana.) But, we were all being taken care of in the way we needed to. I wasn’t asking more of the boys than they were really capable of in that moment. And I wasn’t asking superhuman things of myself — getting grumpy kids dressed and out the door in a few moments, all while trying to keep my patience and remember that we were supposed to be having a good time.

So, it didn’t go the way we wanted. My boys took their time waking up, got themselves together, and we had a good afternoon. No lost tempers, no hurt feelings, no unrealistic expectations. We’ll see Krishana again soon, and, in the mean time, we had a peaceful day.

Ignis the sharing dragon

Posted on March 1, 2013 by admin

We went back to participate in Benjamin and Liam’s favorite Venetian activity today — splashing in puddles and chasing pigeons at St. Mark’s square. (This even outranks gelato consumption, so that’s pretty significant.) We’ve often found, in our travels, that the key to the kids enjoying a city correlates with the amount of time they get to spend running freely, so it’s a priority (especially because we didn’t get enough of that time in Rome.)

After a bit of running wild and tormenting pigeons, Liam requested a drink of water, which, of course, I’d forgotten at the hotel. He was insistent on his very own sippy cup, so he and I ventured back to pick it up.

We had a nice walk (a stroll hand in hand with a two year old can be pretty great) and upon our return, we found Benjamin, Dan, Jo and Mina, still playing in the square. With a dragon.

While we were away, Benjamin had apparently charmed some folks out of a darling stuffed dragon named Ignis. (He’s the mascot for their company.) He is super cute, and they assured Dan that, if we’d like to give Ignis a good home and take him on our international travels, that it was fine for us to adopt him. B was in love. So he got Ignis.

Liam fell instantly in love with Ignis, too, and there was just one Ignis. So we quickly started calling him “Ignis the sharing dragon.” He was shared by his owners with us, and now the boys had to continue to share him.

Ignis the sharing dragon has been a major hit. The boys traded him back and forth all day, a few minutes at a time. He joined us for gelato, pizza for dinner and even our gondola ride (he’s now sporting his very own gondolier hat).

He’ll return to Vienna with us and join us on our future adventures. (Does a dragon need a passport?) What a lovely and special souvenir from our trip to Venice, and what a kind thing for Ignis’ people to have done, to share him with us.

The best art in Italy

Posted on February 27, 2013 by admin

Yesterday, we went to visit the Vatican City. I was surprised at how excited I was to be there and about how it affected me. I was raised Catholic, but I haven’t been even a remotely practicing member of any religion for about 20 years.

But from even before we arrived, I felt a connection to that part of my life, and even more strongly to the people in my life for whom Catholicism has been important. I couldn’t help but think a lot about how excited my grandmother, who passed away over 10 years ago, would be about us visiting Vatican City.

My feeling of connection and nostalgia was so strong that I actually bought myself a Rosary at the museum gift shop. (I’m as surprised as anyone about that, but it seemed like the thing to do.) In some ways, that connection to my personal history was one of my favorite things about my visit to Vatican City.

Another of my favorite things was my kids’ reactions. They loved it. Within the first few minutes of exploring the museum, both of the boys were running around on an outdoor patio shouting, “I love Varican City!” I’m not sure exactly what they loved so much, but they were really enthusiastic about it.

And then, we started in on the museum, and got to see so much amazing art. I loved the detail of the map room, from the ornate ceiling to the beautiful, incredibly detailed maps of Italy from the 16th century. I was captivated by Rapheal’s “School of Athens” and the signifance of its placement in the Vatican. And then we got to the Sistine Chapel, which was the part I was most looking forward to. The scope and the detail were awesome, and it was incredibly special to be in such a magnificent space. (As a note, although we loved the Vatican Museum, we wish we hadn’t brought the stroller, because there were so many stairs, and the elevators were only for wheelchairs.)

But of all the art we saw, my favorite was yet to come. At dinner, Benjamin and Liam decorated their placemats with drawings of fire trucks and happy stick figures. Benjamin is at the point where his drawings are starting to really look like what he imagines — I’m not sure when he got so good, maybe he was inspired by Michelangelo and Raphael — and it is wonderful to see his placemat collection of smiling family members and friends. Of all the art we’ve seen, it’s definitely my favorite.

More on skating

Posted on February 18, 2013 by admin

After our overly crowded experience at the Wiener Eistraum few weeks ago, we’ve experimented a bit with various times and days to try to find the best time to skate with the kids. So far, the weekend evenings are great! They are much less crowded, and thus easier and more fun, than the daytimes during the weekend. (We haven’t yet gotten over there in the day during the week, but with the number of kids I’ve seen walking in that direction with skates, I’d guess it’s pretty busy.) With a fraction of the number of kids in the evenings (more like 10), and a slightly older average age, there is plenty of space to have fun, and lots of practice penguins. Both of my boys have had a better and more relaxed time on our more recent visits. (As a note, the children’s area becomes a curling rink on weekday evenings, so there’s no children’s area after 4 on weekdays.)

I’ve gone back a few extra times as well — once more with Dan as a date night, and once on my own. We’re really enjoying it. It’s a great way to enjoy wintertime Vienna, and it’s a fun way to get outside with the kids this time of year. Next, I just have to convince Liam that the ice isn’t for eating . . .

Living the dream

Posted on February 15, 2013 by admin

I saw a video the other day, currently making the rounds on Facebook, that quoted Alan Watts. It was an audio recording over a variety of pretty, generic images, but the basic point was, don’t chase what will make money, because all that will lead to is the chase of more money. Instead, do what you love, what you’re passionate about, what you would fill your time with if money were no object. It’s a great, philosophical snippet, and (I think) pretty wise. Watching the video, I reflected on my life and situation . . . and I realized that I have the incredibly good fortune to be doing precisely what I want to be doing. I am living the life I would live if money were no object. And that’s pretty amazing.

If I became independently wealthy tomorrow, I would do 3 things differently. I would fly home more often — I would never let more than a couple of months go by without visiting home and being with my family and friends. I would consider moving my horses here from the US, and in the case that it wasn’t a good idea (for their health or sanity) I would find a way to ride here in Vienna. I would go out to eat more often, and I would give Jo free rein to make whatever she wanted when she cooks. But that’s pretty much it.

I am incredibly lucky and I think it’s pretty great. Even given infinite resources, I’d still live in Austria. I’d still have B in his current kindergarten, and I’d still have Liam home with me. I’d live where I live, I’d still choose not to have a car, and (other than going home more often and/or flying my family over to visit) I’d travel to the same places we travel to, and in much the same way. (Ok, if money were really no issue, I guess I’d fly first class.)

How cool is that?!? I’m living the life I’d like to be living. Right now. That doesn’t (at all) mean that my life is perfect, but having that realization gives me great perspective. When Liam’s 2 minute “time out” turns into a 40 minute ordeal, when Benjamin’s chocolate milk ends up all over the floor, when my alarm goes off after a night of not-so-restful broken sleep, when I can’t seem to find the time to exercise, shower and clean the house all in the same day, it helps me to remember that, even with all of the craziness that this life entails sometimes, this is the life that I would choose, given any option. I choose it knowing that it involves difficult moments, sleepless nights and seemingly unending frustrations. I truly wouldn’t have it any other way. This is exactly what I want to be doing, and I get to do it, every single day. It just doesn’t get any better than that.

Essen

Posted on February 14, 2013 by admin

We were running late getting to school this morning. We were late getting out of the house, and then, with lots of new, fresh snow on the ground, B wanted to take his time, walking in the untouched patches and climbing on the piles of plowed and shovelled snow. Even though I generally hate to be late, I let him take his time. It’s the middle of February, and who knows how many more snowy mornings we’ll have this year where we can play in the snow on the way to school? So, we were a bit late — just a few minutes, nothing major.

The kindergartens here serve breakfast to the students, and that’s one of the first things the kids do upon their arrival to school each morning. They take turns, 3-4 kids from each class go to “essen” at a time. Since we were late, and B wanted to eat (for him, it’s really just a snack, since we have breakfast at home), as soon as I got him into his classroom, he turned around and headed back out to eat. It was a nice surprise to see him in the hallway as I was checking the notice board for any new information. And then, I got to watch him have his snack.

It’s the first time I’ve been able to observe him eating at school. He usually does it after I’ve gone. I was amazed to see how well he’s doing, how well he’s adjusted, and what a great job he does of taking care of himself. He found a spot, sat down, and promptly dropped his spoon. No problem — he got up, took it to the dirty dish area, got another one, and sat back down. One of the teachers came by to serve him tea, and he very politely (and in German) said that he preferred water. Then another teacher came by to serve him some bread, which he took, and thanked her for. Then, as he was all settled in and happily starting his snack, I left and headed home. But I was so impressed by my guy. It was so great to see him behaving so well, being so polite and still making sure he got what he wanted. And to see him do it all, in German, like it was no big deal, was a very big deal to me. I’m so happy to have been able to witness a little moment like this, and to see how well he’s doing.

I love the snow!

Posted on February 13, 2013 by admin

I feel like I never know what the weather is going to be like here. The forecasts that I get on my phone are notoriously inaccurate, and relatively lacking in detail. So, although I saw that we were supposed to get some snow here this week, I expected a dusting, or rain (because that’s what’s been happening lately when the forecast has called for snow). Instead, we woke up yesterday morning to several inches of snow on the ground, and it’s pretty much been falling since.

I think this is a great thing. I love the snow. And, having no car and nothing to shovel, there’s very little downside to getting inundated with snow. So, I say, bring it on. My kids agree. Benjamin loves walking in fresh snow. He loves looking back and seeing that his footprints are the only ones through a smooth, otherwise unbroken area of fluffy whiteness. He loves throwing snowballs, making snowmen and catching snowflakes on his tongue. At his preschool, they play and sled outside on snowy days, and that has made snowy days some of his favorites at school. Liam loves the snow, too. He loves to go for walks in the snow (well, he loves to go for walks anytime) and he treks from one slushy puddle to the next, jumping up and down and making himself an icy mess. And he loves to throw snowballs, squish snowmen and eat snow.

Right now, I’m sitting in my living room and watching the snow fall outside. By the time we went out yesterday to play on our terrace (which is open to the sky, but warmer and more sheltered than a real “outdoors” area, so we often don’t get any snow accumulation out there, even when there are several inches elsewhere), we already had 5.5″ on the ground. And, since it’s pretty much been falling since then, and is supposed to fall through tonight, I don’t think the estimates of up to 10″ that I’ve seen seem unreasonable. (Of course, they do a pretty good job of clearing the snow around Vienna, so I haven’t seen any one place with nearly that much accumulated.)

Yesterday, B & I walked out the front door to go to school, and there were already about 4″ of snow on the ground. He exclaimed, “I love the snow! My heart thinks it’s great!” I agree. My heart thinks so, too.

A Mommy Abroad

Our big adventure, as a family of three.

Category Archives: Kids and Parenting