Religion and Happy Meals

Although they aren’t on every street corner, we have fast food restaurants here in Austria, too.  McDonald’s is the most common, but there are a few Burger Kings and Subways, too (although I’ve never gone into one) plus at least one, NordSee, that you’ve probably never even heard of (they serve fish, and often some strange ketchup-y sauces sometimes used in excess).  The basic premise at McDonald’s here is the pretty much the same as at home: mostly burgers, chicken sandwiches and french fries, with ice cream sundaes for dessert (although they also have other things that we really ought to have back in the States, like a full coffee bar and waffle fries).

20130524-232408.jpgWe tend to do a quick, convenient dinner about once a week, whether that means ordering pizza, picking up street food or carry out from a local restaurant, or, on occasion, getting McDonald’s.  Last week we had a McDonald’s night, and, as usual, the boys chose to get Happy Meals . . . which are pretty much exactly like what you’d get back at home, except that sometimes, the toy is something fantastically cool, like a pedometer or a sheep-shaped cereal bowl.  Last week, the “toy” was actually a book.  The boys got their choice of 6 different, full size, full color books — B chose a book that came with a ton of stickers and Liam chose a hardback book that came with 3-D glasses . . . and which started off with three pages worth of an explanation of evolution.

Aside from the books being pretty darn cool as a freebie with a Happy Meal, I was pleasantly surprised to find evolution in Liam’s book, mostly because here, in one of the most Catholic countries in the world, in the city that was the seat of the Holy Roman Empire for over 300 years, it’s not really considered controversial to give out books that treat evolution as scientific fact to little kids.

20130524-232435.jpgBut in the US, I think it would be.  I suspect that in the States, if McDonald’s were giving out books stating the facts of evolution along with Happy Meals, there would be outrage and boycotts.  Social media would explode with exclamations about intolerance, persecution and freedom of religion.

And here, no one seems to think it’s an issue.  (Although, to be fair, my German isn’t that good, so it’s also possible that it is and I missed it . . . I’m mostly kidding.)  I really think that no one here thinks it’s a big deal . . . at least not on a cultural level.  It’s not that religion isn’t respected here.  It is, tremendously.  The entire nation and culture is overwhelming influenced by Christianity, and more specifically, Catholicism.  The country’s calendar of holidays is dominated by the church, and while people aren’t overtly and dogmatically oppressive about their religious views, the tenets of Catholicism are pervasive here.  (Although the Austrians that I know claim that Austria, and Vienna in particular, is “not very religious”, I disagree.  I see it everywhere.  For instance, there’s no “Happy Holidays” here, it’s always “Merry Christmas”, and the state-run schools are unembarrassed about their inclusion of the celebration of Catholic holidays and discussion of saints within the school year, although they don’t actually teach religion in any sense.  It’s simply that these ideas are so woven into the fabric of life here that they don’t see that as “religion” . . . which is exactly my point — Catholicism and Christianity are so commonly practiced and believed that they are completely taken for granted and the acceptance of them is assumed.)

The freedom of people to believe and practice other religions is taken seriously here, as well.  The legacy that Austria carried out of the second World War is one that people here want to leave in the past, and there is a strong feeling of sensitivity towards those who aren’t Catholic or Christian, too.  Culturally, especially among young people, Austria wants to be inclusive.  Religious tolerance is important here.

20130524-232503.jpgBut, even with all of that, it seems to be a complete non-issue that McDonald’s is giving away books that teach evolution as a matter of fact.  As far as I can tell, no one cares.  I think the difference is that people here don’t equate “respecting” their religion with expecting everyone else to believe the same thing as they do.  They don’t view it at anyone else’s duty to not disagree with their religious beliefs.  Respect of your right to believe something doesn’t necessarily require that I agree with you.

Also, with the caveat that my sample size is pretty small (in that I don’t know very many Austrians well enough to have had these kinds of discussions) I feel like that people here, no matter their religious beliefs, don’t deny the truth of science.  The very religious have either consciously chosen to accept or ignore the contradictions, or they’ve come up with some internal way of reconciling it . . . but regardless, they don’t expect everyone else to avoid contradicting their core beliefs.  Here, disagreement doesn’t seem to equal persecution, disagreement doesn’t equal disrespect, and respect doesn’t require agreement.  And that’s not something I’m really used to seeing.

I’m not trying to critique or admonish anyone in the US, or anywhere else.  But I am grateful to see a culture that doesn’t have a knee-jerk reaction to something that might disagree with a personal belief.  On an individual level, the religious people I know are intelligent, accepting, and understand that not everyone is going to agree on something as deeply personal as religion.  But on a cultural level, I think there would be a vociferous reaction to a book in a Happy Meal that talked about evolution.

These are generalizations, of course, and I haven’t been here very long yet, so there are probably things that I’m missing.  But I do get the sense that there has been a more successful reconciliation between religion and science here.  At least, no one is boycotting McDonald’s today.  The profoundly religious culture that exists here seems to live peacefully alongside an acceptance of science.  From my American perspective, it’s pretty stunning.

Survived

So, we made it.  I got through 44 hours-ish, just me & the kids.  (Which doesn’t sound as impressive now as it felt when I was doing it.)  My worries were pretty much for nothing.  We had a really nice time and the boys were great — helpful, cooperative and patient with the inherent slowness that comes from having one parent do the work of two.  We ate a lot of pizza and leftover spaghetti, read stories in my bed (which is something I think we ought to do more often) and B missed a day of school.  Success!

Of course, I didn’t “do” everything.  It was only two days, so I let a lot of things slide.  Bailey went to the dog-sitter so I wouldn’t have to take him out 4 times per day (no yard here) or worry about what to do if he needed to go out after the boys were sleeping.  Because it was only two days, I didn’t have to do a big grocery shopping trip, run any errands, keep any appointments, or even take out the trash or recycling.  Really, I had it pretty easy . . . but I’m still grateful that it went well.

In fact, I think the two days before the trip were more stressful than the actual time that Dan was away — that’s when I was worrying about what COULD go wrong.  As it turns out, I had only one truly legitimate worry while Dan was away — making sure to not get hurt.

It occurred to me before the trip, and came to mind again and again while Dan was gone — I had to make absolutely sure I took good care of myself, since I was the only one home with the kids.  Playing outside on the terrace, when the floor got very slippery, I took great care not to slip.  Hurrying to take a shower as quickly as possible, I had to remind myself not to be TOO quick, because I didn’t want to risk falling.  Preparing our meals, I was extra careful and cautious to not burn or cut myself.  Any of those things, on a normal day, would be bad, but while Dan was gone, it would have been awful.  At the least, it could have meant having to drag both kids to the emergency room to tend to an injury of mine, at worst it could have meant being incapacitated, leaving the kids without care or supervision and/or having to take care of me in some way.  Not to be overly dramatic, but any of that really could have been horrible.

Needless to say, none of that happened.  But that was the big, consistent worry in my mind, and the only real stress I had to handle.  And, in that way, Dan being out of town while we’re here, in Austria, so far away from so many family and friends, is vastly different than him being out of town when we were at home in the States.  At home, I probably would have had my mom staying with me, or at least stopping by regularly.  As it was, she (and Dan) checked in on me regularly by text and email . . . but what would anyone have *done* if I had gone a long time without responding?  At home, my family and friends were only a phone call and a short drive away.  At home, even if I’d been stuck and posted a desperate “help!” message on Facebook, someone I know would have been able to come to my rescue.  Here, I really am much more on my own, which did give the two days without Dan more of a “wilderness survival show” feel than I expected.

Regardless, we made it.  In fact, we had fun.  I really enjoyed putting aside my to-do list and just focusing on the boys.  I proved to be perfectly capable of taking care of everything (everything important, at least) for almost 48 hours on my own.  (But I think next time I may ask some neighbors to check in on us or at least put some of my Vienna friends on speed dial before Dan goes.  I think it would be more fun if it *didn’t* feel like an episode of a survival show.)

Day two

Well, everything is still going well.  Aside from a (relatively inevitable) spill at the dinner table caused by me over-filling Benjamin’s water, which he happened to be holding when he sneezed rather enthusiastically, resulting in a complete outfit change on my part, things have gone amazingly well.  And then we had perhaps the most intense and sustained thunderstorms I’ve yet experienced in Vienna yesterday evening.  But other than closing the windows, repeated assurances that everything was fine and a little bit of a snuggle in Mommy’s bed, that was really not an issue.  Bath time was uneventful, I eventually got Liam’s teeth flossed and brushed (always a challenge), and although it took a long time to get the boys to sleep, they slept through the night.

Then, this morning, Liam slept in, and I couldn’t bring myself to wake him, so I took the easy way out and kept B home this morning — the only other options were being late to school (stressful) or waking Liam just to get B to school (against every mothering instinct I have).  So, we stayed in.  I made a gourmet lunch of frozen pizza and leftover chicken nuggets, and we had an easy morning.

And now we’re in the homestretch, so it looks like I worried for nothing.  The kids are a little louder, wilder, and less cooperative today (owing, in part, to B not getting to run around at school this morning, I’m sure).  But we’re actually having a pretty nice time.

I’m grateful for coffee and for chocolate (both of which I’ve consumed in copious amounts).  We were lucky enough to have some friends stop by for a bit this morning (excellent for my sanity).  Yay for nap time.  And bedtime.  And TV.  But I think we’re going to handle this challenge just fine.  (But now I’m wondering if I haven’t jinxed the next 9 hours . . . )

Day one

I’m a stay-at-home mom.  I have Liam home with me full time, and B only goes to school for 3 hours each day (not counting the commute).  Dan works 45 hours each week, and has a half-hour commute each way, so he’s out of the house for about 10 hours each day (usually a little longer).  The kids are only up for about 14 hours each day (ideally — although we don’t always make our bedtime goal, so some days it’s closer to 15).  With all of that, I’m finding it surprisingly scary to be facing 2 days of having Dan out of town.

It’s not really just that Dan’s out of town — he’s travelled for work before.  In fact, back before we moved to Austria, he travelled to Austria several times each year for a week or two at a time.  But, that was mostly before Liam was born.  And, I *always* had help.  My mom would come and stay with us, usually, and the few times that she didn’t, she still came over frequently.  (I actually think that only happened once, but I’m not sure.)

And, I had the rest of my family, plus friends and neighbors that I knew I could call on if I needed them, whether there was an emergency, or my car broke down, or I just needed someone to come over and hang out with the kids for an hour so I could shower.  I never used it, but I knew I had a safety net if I needed it.

The difference today, the first time Dan has travelled for work since we’ve been in Austria, is the feeling that I really am on my own.  I still have neighbors, and a few friends, that I could call on in a dire emergency, but the dynamic is very different.  Even just not having a car adds to my feeling of isolation.  I’m not going anywhere I don’t walk or take public transportation.  And while that normally feels liberating, it somehow feels confining and intimidating today.

20130521-153424.jpgHonestly, though, I’m not really sure what I’m so worried about — things are going great.  Dan left early this morning, before the boys were up, and we’ve had a lovely day so far.  I took B to school, came home, managed to even get a shower, went back to pick B up, fed everyone lunch and Skyped with my mom before putting the boys down for their naps.

So far, all is well, and actually, it’s pretty much my day as usual.  Still, I feel nervous, and it’s weird.  Right now, it’s about 3:30 in the afternoon, and I’m sitting in the living room, writing this blog . . . which is exactly what I’m doing every other day at 3:30 in the afternoon.  Somehow, just knowing I’m “on my own” has me a bit freaked out.

Field trip worries

I’m a mom.  That’s basically like being a professional worrier.  On days like today, when B’s class is on a day-long field trip to the zoo, I worry extra.  He’s only 4, and although he’s now done these trips many times, it’s a lot for me to imagine my little guy taking a bus and two U-bahns with his kindergarten class.  And then, he’ll be out for 8 hours, well supervised, but without me (just the potty implications for a little guy who prefers to “go” at home are worrisome).  And then there’s the same trek back to school.  I was thinking about him all day, and trying not to obsess (unsuccessfully, although Liam did keep me pretty busy all on his own).

I worry that he could (in no kind of sane or logical order of likelihood or severity, much like they come into my head) wander off, get left behind, be abducted (the mind of a mommy is harsh place, full of unlikely worst case scenarios), get hurt, have a potty accident (or two or three), get sunburned, not get enough to eat or drink, feel left out, get overly tired, not understand what’s going on, not be understood when he needs to say something, and, because this is Austria and there is definitely a “don’t be stupid”/personal responsibility mentality here, I also can’t entirely put aside a (hopefully unfounded) fear that he’s going to climb into the lion enclosure or attempt to go swimming with the hippos (seriously, I fixated on the hippo thing for a good 20 minutes earlier when Liam was napping).

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In short, there was no way I was going to feel better until Dan texted me to tell me that he had safely picked him up, and I didn’t feel completely ok until I gave him a big hug and kiss myself.  As it turns out, none of the things I was worried about came to pass (not even a potty accident!).  He had a great day at the zoo, had lunch and two snacks (that was a highlight) and enjoyed seeing the reindeer most of all.  All my worry was wasted energy — all was well (and there was nothing I could have done if it wasn’t).  Still, it won’t stop me from being exactly the same way next time.  It’s just how it is.

Delaying the dentist

I’m kind of an oral hygiene nut.  Actually, I’m not as bad as I used to be — in college, my friends used to make fun of (and also, I think, kind of marvel at) my level of fastidiousness about my teeth.  I really like to take care of my teeth.  I’m religious about brushing and flossing, and I don’t even mind my biannual dental cleanings.  I’m weird like that.

007I’ve tried to be careful with my kids’ teeth, too, but since I’m admittedly a bit overly enthusiastic, I’ve tried to temper my concern with age appropriate expectations.  It’s only been moderately successful — I still remember the time I woke up in a cold sweat worrying about Benjamin’s teeth and how he hadn’t yet been to the dentist.  (He was 18 months old at the time.)  Ever since my kids have had teeth, we’ve made sure they brushed regularly (maybe not EVERY day, but very nearly).  We even floss their teeth (although that’s been less consistent).  When B was little and we were in the US, we were sure to use the non-flouride toothpaste, and when he was old enough, we took him to the dentist in the US.  We had a fairly disastrous first experience with a pediatric dentist, and then we started taking him to our friendly, gentle and kind regular dentist, which went MUCH better.  After that first experience, I was worried B would be traumatized, but with the help of our great dentist, he gradually got over his trepidation and would accompany both Dan and I to our cleanings and have his teeth “counted” when we were done.  And all was well.

Living abroad has complicated matters somewhat.  First of all, the water here is not fluoridated.  Some doctors recommend supplements, some advise against (reasoning that if you use a fluoridated toothpaste, which is pretty much the only thing you can find here, the kids will get enough incidentally).  We went without for the first 6-8 months we were here, and then I decided to go for it (I’m still not 100% sure of that decision, since over-fluoridating can cause problems, too).  Also dental care here is not, on average, up to American standards.  After some trying, we found a dentist that we’re reasonably happy with, but it’s not like it is at home.  There’s less focus on comfort with more focus on efficiency, less focus on aesthetics and more on finances.  I’m happy to go there for a cleaning, but we weren’t confident that the kids would have good experiences.  I took B along with me for the first time last fall, and he got his teeth “counted” again (all looked well) — but he’s used to the procedure now.  I wasn’t sure how Liam would take it, since he had no positive experiences to build on, so we haven’t taken him.  I’d just recently been thinking that I would probably try to make him an appointment when we next visited the States, most likely this winter.

And then, about 3 weeks ago, we noticed a spot on one of Liam’s front teeth (not the very front ones, the ones just next to those).  And, of course, being the dentally obsessed person that I am, I freaked out.  Does he have a cavity?  Did he damage his tooth?  Have I been over-fluoriding him?  Is it going to get worse?  Is it going to hurt him?  Will he lose his tooth?  Will this happen to his other teeth?  Will it happen to his permanent teeth?  (That was all in the first 2 minutes of discovering that it wasn’t a small piece of food and I couldn’t scrape it off with my fingernail.)

After calming down, and realizing he didn’t seem to be in any pain, I consulted with our pediatrician.  She wasn’t sure what it was, either, but recommended I have a dentist look at it.  She (also an American, and a parent) suggested that if we were visiting home anytime in the next two months that we just wait until we go home.  But we’re not, so I can’t.  But, I’m with her — I’d rather have it looked at in the US, too.

But, that’s not an option.  So, we made him an appointment with our dentist here.  I’m encouraged by the fact that they didn’t seem alarmed, concerned or overly urgent (nor did they refuse to see a 2 year old, so I’m desperately hoping that they do this all the time and will be shockingly impressive at comforting and reassuring him).  That appointment was supposed to be today.  But, since Liam is still recovering from his recent illness, including being so congested that he can’t breathe through his nose, I decided to postpone it another two weeks.  I just can’t imagine things going well if he’s sick on top of having a new (potentially scary) experience, and I want to set him up for success.  So, in two weeks, we’ll go in and get his tooth looked at.  It hasn’t gotten worse in the past 3 weeks, so here’s hoping it doesn’t get worse between now and then.  I’m worried about my guy.  And I’m really missing the excellent quality of dental care in the US.

Trunki

1261I’m kind of shocked to realize that this is my first post dedicated to Trunkis, the ride-on, pull-along, carry-on kid-functional suitcases we got for the boys last year.  It’s long overdue.

We first saw something like a Trunki once at the airport when dropping off a friend over a year ago.  A family on the opposite train platform was loading up two kids on two small, elephant-looking suitcases, which the parents then pulled along behind them.  I thought it was so fantastic that I took a few pictures of this completely unknown family.  Later, I asked around among my friends, and everyone kept saying they were “Trunkis” even though the ones I saw the first time were either by a different brand or a much older model.  When I finally found them online, they seemed too expensive, and my boys have backpacks and suitcases already, so I just let it go, but I never really forgot about it.

1271The next time we encountered such a thing (and the first time we “met” a real Trunki) was at London’s Luton airport during our trip to the UK last summer.  We went into one of those travel shops at the airport (I no longer remember why — I think Dan was looking for something) and they had a variety of Trunkis for sale . . . of course, all down at kid level.  B saw them and fell in love instantly.  He touched them, he wanted to open them, he wanted to ride on them.  I intended to say no, but since I’d been looking at them before, and they were actually cheaper in person (plus no shipping!) I decided to go for it.  Especially after the salesperson assured me they would 1549work as a carry on (even on EasyJet — and I told him that if they said no at the check-in counter, I was bringing it straight back).  We only got one, because we wanted to know if it would work, and initially, Liam wasn’t too disappointed, since he was mostly riding in the stroller.  B immediately climbed aboard and started doing laps up and down the check-in line.  He was hooked, and Liam was, very shortly thereafter, jealous.

008B’s Trunki worked great on that trip.  We were pleasantly surprised to find that it did, indeed, fit even EasyJet’s small allowance for carry-on luggage, and B’s other carry-on suitcase actually fit inside with a little room to spare.  After that trip, we decided Liam should have one, too, but we didn’t go back through Luton, and we didn’t find them anywhere else.  After we got back to Vienna, B decided he wanted to give Liam his very own new Trunki for his birthday just a few weeks later, so we went ahead and ordered one (which was a lot more expensive).

And the rest is history.  We’ve gotten quite fond of and attached to the Trunkis.  They have joined us on every trip since, and they’ve stood up to a ton of abuse from the kids.  After 6 months, 3 flights, 3 train trips and a road trip, we feel like we’ve broken them in and road tested them pretty well.  Here are the pros and cons that we’ve found so far:

Pros:

  • 053They’re cute.  I don’t mind looking at them all the time.  I imagine they’d be super easy to spot coming around on the conveyor of checked bags (although we haven’t tried that yet).  And, unlike the many character-themed backpacks and suitcases, I don’t think the kids are likely to “grow out” of the Trunkis as quickly.
  • They’re sturdy.  Other than a bit of paint/decoration wear (very minimal) I’m truly impressed at how well these have stood up.  My kids use them every day around the house, not just on travel.  They sit on them, they ride on them, they climb on them (I wish they didn’t do that last part).  They open and close them on their own.  They’ve been kicked, knocked down, dragged and raced around the house.  And that’s in addition to be lugged on and off of trains, in and out of car trunks and into and out of overhead compartments.  These things are really well built.
  • 027They’re easy for the kids to use.  B has been able to open and close his since day 1, and Liam figured it out by the time he got to be about 2 1/2.  They can also be locked (the adjustable carrying strap has the “key” attached).  My boys use them around the house to store things (i.e., hide them from their brother) and it’s nice that they can access the inside on their own (although pinched fingers are a concern).  The boys can climb on an off when we’re using them as a ride on and can pull them along behind them with the carrying strap (although watch out for unaware people walking alongside — the boys aren’t great at watching exactly which direction the Trunki is going behind them and they could definitely take someone out).
  • 081They’re carry-on sized.  We’ve tried it, it’s really true.  They fit in the overhead bin and within the guideline for carry-on luggage.  They can be rolled down the aisle in the plane, too, and up the jetway with a child on top (which is especially nice since even gate-checked strollers are often not returned until baggage claim).  They also fit nicely behind the front seat in a car, right at the kids’ feet, so they can see “their stuff” in the car.  (Also makes kid stuff easily accessible, because  you don’t necessarily have to dig through the back/trunk . . . and if you do, a Trunki is distinctive and easy to find.)
  • 052They double as a ride-on.  On the way to the gate at the airport or to the train at the station, one of the kids (whichever one isn’t in the stroller) seems to always want to be held.  Being able to have them ride the Trunki is incredibly functional (although it does require some steering on the part of the passenger, and you have to watch out for people walking nearby).  Also, when waiting in line (which is a lot when you travel) the Trunki provides a seat that isn’t just on the floor.  Whenever the kids get tired of standing, they can always sit on the Trunki instead.
  • 001Convenient for packing.  You can fit a lot of stuff in a Trunki.  We have managed to basically pack the boys entire clothing and such for a week (not including diapers) in their Trunkis.  With winter clothes, B is just starting to run out of room.  It’s nice to have the kids’ stuff separated — especially when in comes to finding things like socks and keeping track of what belongs to which child.  (Are these Benjamin’s gray socks or Liam’s?  Whose blue fleece is this?)

Cons

  • They can get clunky.  Empty, they’re light and easy to move around.  Full, they can get heavy, especially when carrying it with the shoulder strap (or carrying two!) while pulling a piece of rolling luggage or pushing a stroller.  Also, because they’re hard and not squishable, they don’t fit easily into the bottom of a stroller.  The only option is to carry it or pull it.  They’re not ideal if you have a long way to walk and it will be in a place where you can’t or don’t want the kids to ride or pull it.
  • 004They’re expensive.  I don’t remember how much we paid for the one we bought at the airport, but the one we ordered was £38.  (Of course, it doesn’t help that Benjamin chose the limited edition, most expensive version to get for Liam’s birthday, and that we had to have it shipped from the UK, which cost even more.)
  • They become essential.  Now that we have them, there’s little hope of travelling without them.  The boys are set on bringing them everywhere.  So, even when we take short weekend trips where we might not have packed separate suitcases for the kids, the Trunkis are GOING to be coming with us.  So, we’ve now put ourselves in a situation where we are taking at least 3 bags with us (2 Trunkis, 1 backpack or suitcase for grownups) wherever we go, no matter what.

Overall, we love them.  They aren’t the only functional solution to luggage for kids, but they’re pretty great, and we’re glad we have ours.

 

(Also, in case anyone wonders, this is in no way a sponsored post.  I received nothing from Trunki, nor from anyone else, at any point.  This is just my opinion.)

Noon

Last Friday, Liam and I had a date with the pediatrician to rule out an ear infection.  The appointment was at 12:15 and we were, for once, going to be a little bit early.  Just as we were walking down the last block to the office, the bells atop the church across the narrow street began to chime noon.  Moments later, on the next block down the hill, another set of church bells began to chime.  The sound of the bells is so loud that conversation is temporarily impossible, and it’s almost like you can feel the vibrations resonate in your body.  Liam wanted to stop and listen, so we did, and as the first set died out, I could hear, from further down in the valley and up the hillside, echoes of more church bells — dozens, or more — chiming the arrival of mid-day in Vienna.  They followed us all the way down the stairs and into the building.

No noon passes unnoticed here.  Wherever we are and whatever we’re doing, as long as we’re in Vienna, we know when it’s noon.  Time to pick Benjamin up from school, time to make lunch for the family.  It’s another lovely piece of life here.  I love it.

If wishes were cars

It doesn’t happen often, but every so often I wish I had a car.  Today was one of those days.

After 2 days of Liam having a high fever (controlled only barely by regular medication) and general misery and sleeplessness (not controlled by anything) I got in touch with his pediatrician last night.  She suggested I bring him in this afternoon, mostly to rule out an ear infection, particularly in light of it being Friday and the pharmacies being mostly closed over the weekend.

Facing a half hour tram ride with a sick kid is daunting.  I could take the stroller, dealing with the hassle and inconvenience of it, especially in case I encountered an old style tram, and taking the major risk that he’d fall asleep and miss any chance of a good nap later.  Or, I could go without, possibly necessitating carrying him the entire way to and from the tram, and not giving me the chance to strap him down securely if he decided to throw a fit.  Either way, he was likely to be miserable and fussy, and I was almost guaranteed to arrive at the appointment (and then later at home) entirely worn out.

I fantasized about having a car.  About walking downstairs, strapping him safely into his car seat, climbing in the front and making the 15 minute drive in comfort and privacy.  About not having to worry if he screamed or fell asleep, or if the tram was crowded and I had to hold a limp, miserable, kicking and screaming Liam in my arms while holding a handrail and attempting not to lose my balance.

I wanted a car.  I wanted it more in that moment than I have in the 2 years I’ve lived in Vienna.  I could completely imagine making the journey and not arriving sweaty, frazzled and exhausted.  I imagined air conditioning and a cd changer.  I imagined leaving the diaper bag in the car and only taking in the necessities.  I imagined saying, “Sure! Bring whatever toys you want!” and not having to retrieve said items from under the seat behind me at every stop.  I imagined drive-through pharmacies and drive-through Starbucks and drive-through places that make lunch.  I imagined simplicity and peace.

But, alas, no car.  I opted to go without the stroller, because our new one is just too big to work on the old style trams, and that’s not a challenge (or a delay) I felt like taking on today.  We had a peaceful trip to the doctor (no ear infection!), and our trip home was less hellish than I had feared (although I did up standing, with a tired, cranky boy, part of the way home — thank you, citizens of Vienna).  We did it.  We made it.  We really did ok.  But a car would have been nice today.

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We win

Last night was another rough one.  Liam is still sick.  He’s doing just fine for as long as his medicine lasts, but as soon as it wears off, he’s right back to being feverish and miserable — and it wears off several hours before he’d due to get more.  Also, medicated or not, whenever he lays down, he gets all clogged up and can’t breathe.  Poor guy . . . and thus, again, poor parents.

I got a little more sleep last night — I mostly slept from about 2:00 until about 5:00 this morning — but that was only because Dan took on more of the middle of the night visits to the boys’ room.  All totaled, I’ve had less than 6 hours of sleep over the past two nights.  And while that’s not nearly the worst I’ve had it, it’s no fun (especially because there was, unbelievably, no nap for the boys yesterday either, and only a 20 minute nap for Liam today).

Today, I got up to bravely tackle the day.  It’s a holiday here in Austria (but not for the UN) so B didn’t have school but Dan did have work.  Dan offered to stay home (he has leave he can take for sick family members) but I figured I could manage, since I didn’t have much planned today and our friends are here — in case I needed a moment to catch my breath, or a hand with something.  Then, I managed to get back to bed for an hour this morning, because after I got Liam down (around 6:30) and B woke up immediately thereafter, but I was able to convince him to lay down again for an hour.  I was tired, I was feeling rough, but, I thought, I could handle it, as long as I had enough coffee.

And then, we had the trifecta of mommy meltdown fodder.  While the boys were sitting at the table having breakfast, I came back from retrieving more Cheerios to find that Liam had emptied our entire new package of napkins onto the floor.  I felt overwhelmed and quite a bit frustrated, but I was still ok.  Still, I texted Dan to tell him that I might, upon further reflection, need him to take the afternoon off today . . . especially because I was imagining my mental state would be pretty rough if we went another day without a nap.  This was followed, moments later, while I was preparing some much needed coffee, by hearing Benjamin chant, “Fling them!  Fling them!  Fling them!”  I rushed back to the table to see Liam scooping his Cheerios and milk, by the spoonful, and (as requested) flinging them against the wall and windows.  At that point, I texted Dan again to tell him I would, indeed, be requiring him at home this afternoon.

And, just in case I wasn’t 100% certain I was making the right decision, I then proceeded to spill the contents of B’s potty all over the bathroom floor.  No worries at that point that I was overreacting to my current mental state by having Dan come home.  I was in full pre-meltdown mode:  frazzled, sweating, stressing out, feeling overwhelmed, on the verge of absolutely freaking out about something that would have made me sigh and roll my eyes on a better day.

So, Dan come home (with lunch!) at the middle of the day and stayed home, to take care of all of us.  After short naps for everyone, B did a major faceplant on the floor resulting in a bloody nose and a very fat lip (he used the ice packs pretty liberally though and looks amazingly good now).  And, Liam’s fever has now stopped responding so well to the ibuprofen, so he has an appointment with the pediatrician tomorrow.  I hate using a leave day on something that seems so minor, but I’m really happy that today didn’t end in tears, screaming or any lost tempers . . . especially from me.  I call this a win.