Skating with a view

Posted on December 3, 2013 by admin

There is a restaurant that we like up in the hills on the west side of Vienna. The city slopes steeply upward on that end, before ending and becoming Lower Austria. We’ve been up there a few times, in the summer and the winter. The food is good but the view is amazing, and it gives the feeling of being out of the city without having left at all.

Nearly next door to the restaurant is an old palace which has been converted into a hotel. We’ve wandered over there a few times to stroll around the grounds and enjoy the beautiful view of Vienna. Last winter, I heard that there was a skating rink in the winter alongside a tiny Christmas market in November and December, but by the time I’d decided to go up and check it out, it was too late — the skating was finished for the season.

Last weekend, though, my in-laws suggested a visit to the restaurant up in the hills. B has been excitedly asking when we can go skating again, ever since it got cold outside. It occurred to me that these things would go well together, so on Saturday, we went to check out Wilhelminenberg on Ice.

The skating rink was very small (as was the very little Christmas market alongside). They only had a few pairs of children’s skates for rent, so we had to wait for someone else to return theirs before we could borrow some for the boys. We only had to wait a few minutes, though, and it was worth it. The boys had a great time sliding, skating (and falling) all around the little skating area. And the view was really amazing — all of Vienna lit up down below. It was just a little skating rink, and obviously not a super busy operation (even on a Saturday evening), but a nice spot with a great view.

Being up on the hill, it was cold and windy, so we didn’t last long (which was ok, because other kids were waiting for our skates, and we had dinner reservation). But we definitely had a good time. It was worth the trip up there just to skate around and enjoy the view.

Christmas shopping block

Posted on November 21, 2013 by admin

From a philosophical point of view, I do realize, and truly believe, that Christmas is about much more than gifts. But, from a practical perspective, as the main Christmas-gift-shopper in the family, they do occupy a great deal of my time and mental energy in the months leading up to Christmas. That’s just how it is.

Every year, I find the process of Christmas shopping somewhat overwhelming … especially getting started. This year, it is even more so, because in addition to balancing the wish lists against the budget, thinking of the “right” things to get, and then actually making the purchases, I also want to keep in mind the limited space in our luggage for our return back to Austria after the holidays.

So I’ve been stuck. I’ve had a list of ideas of things to look and shop for for at least a month, I’ve stopped in to toy stores, and added and deleted items from my Amazon cart at least a dozen times. But I haven’t actually bought anything. We leave for the US in less than a month. The pressure of time has been starting to become as strong as the pressure to choose the “right” gifts.

Today, I stopped by our local toy store (again), not to shop for Christmas but to see if they had a particular toy that B wants to give a friend for his birthday this weekend. While I was there, I saw something I’d been thinking of getting the boys for Christmas. I hesitated and debated. But then I remembered that this is Austria, and there is no back room stock of extra things. Typically, they have what they have, and when they run out, it’s gone. If I decide to think about it, and go back later, it may well be gone. I went ahead and bought it. I looked around a little longer and got some other ideas, too.

And, at last, I feel like I’m unstuck. I feel so much better now. Just buying a little thing for the boys seems to have broken my mental block. I walked home, feeling enthusiastic and motivated about Christmas shopping, rather than feeling overwhelmed and stuck. Now, instead of it feeling like a massive chore to shop for Christmas gifts, it feels like fun again. I’m really glad, because I’ve got to get to work!

Ich gehe mit meiner Lanterne

Posted on November 12, 2013 by admin

Liam getting set

Last night, we attended our third lantern fest at the kids’ school. It is my favorite Austrian tradition, and it was extra special because this time, both boys participated.

Benjamin takes his place (second from the camera)

It’s a wonderful evening. All of the preschool kids at the school (about 60 of them), each holding a homemade lantern constructed of cardboard and waxed paper and containing an actual, lit candle, parade around the garden with their lanterns, singing, while the parents all take tons of pictures. After a brief performance by the bigger children, explaining the celebration of St. Martin (Benjamin was a tree!), the parents take their children by the hand and we all go for a walk around the block in the dark, singing. After our parade around the neighborhood, we all return to the school for Kipferl (like a croissant, but not flaky), warm drinks and a little socializing. It’s fun, festive, and very sweet (if always a little cold to be outside for an hour).

I love this tradition, and so do the kids. For us, as Americans, it’s also a little astonishing — with the candles and paper lanterns, I’m certain something like this would never happen in the States. (Some other parents we mentioned this to last night literally did not believe us. They thought we were exaggerating when we explained that it’s darn near impossible that a school in the US would allow 60 3-6 year olds to walk around in the dark carrying paper lanterns containing actual candles. Their response was, “No way! They’re just candles!”)

(Also, on further reflection, I’m pretty certain that this tradition is part of why Halloween hasn’t much caught on here. The tradition of celebrating the Feast of St. Martin contains many of the same elements — lanterns, walking around the neighborhood in the dark — but without costumes or candy.)

Benjamin, Liam and their best friends

The boys both did great. They looked for Dan and I right away and were so happy to have us there. Liam was composed and happy throughout, and B performed excellently as a tree during the short play relating the story of St. Martin. I walked around the block with Liam, while Dan walked with B and his class. All of the kids did great with their candle-filled lanterns. (Although injury seems inevitable to my mind, this is our third year, and no one has ever gotten hurt by the lanterns, nor set their lantern on fire, nor poked anyone with the sticks they’re carried by. Go figure.)

I am so glad that my boys, and indeed our whole family, has gotten to participate in the tradition here. I love it. And now, officially, it’s time to start celebrating Christmas in Vienna.

An unexpected holiday

Posted on November 8, 2013 by admin

There are a lot of holidays in Austria, but since the UN celebrates a slightly odd combination of Christian, Muslim and Austrian holidays, we have a really hard time keeping track of the local ones. Some mornings, we venture outdoors only to discover that Vienna is like a ghost town — shops closed, sidewalks nearly deserted, lots of open spaces on the trains and buses — even though it’s a weekday and a work day for Dan.

Having the boys in school hasn’t helped us learn the holidays much. The school is open many (but not all) of the days when the shops are closed, and the school doesn’t provide any kind of an official calendar of the school year (even though we’ve asked). We’ve learned to read the notices at the school very carefully. But sometimes we still miss that a holiday — not just at the shops, but one from school — is coming up.

For example, even though this is our third November here, we didn’t realize that November 1 is one of those “big” holidays in Austria. One of those days where the shops are closed, and so are the schools. There were no signs, no notices, at the school. I had this vague thought that November 1 is a big day in the church, and I noticed, last Thursday (October 31), that several shops had signs up saying that they would be closed on Friday. It wasn’t until nearly 10:00 that night, after trick-or-treating that my brain connected the dots and it truly occurred to me that the school might be closed Friday. We texted another parent, who (thankfully) responded very promptly, and it turned out that indeed the schools would be closed Friday. No school. A surprise holiday for the boys.

As much as it’s great to have an unexpected day with the boys at home (almost like getting a snow day!), my brain doesn’t switch gears well for last-minute things like that. And, while it was an unexpected day off for the kids, Dan still had to work, so instead of feeling like I had a surprise holiday, I felt more like I had a surprise 11 hour day of intense work ahead of me.

But, I adjusted. We spent the morning at the park and had a great day. (Dan and I marvelled at the astonishing ability kids have to get up early on days off and sleep in when we have to be somewhere — even though they didn’t know they had the day off when they went to bed the night before, both boys were up before 6, when we’d been dragging them out of bed after 7 every other day last week!)

We’ve been here 2 1/2 years, and this still happens to us, just like it did that first year. Just when we’re starting to feel like we’ve kind of got this figured out, just when we’re starting to feel a little cool, this happens to remind us that we haven’t really and we’re not.

It’s ok, though. That’s just how it is. And Liam’s teacher, when I explained it to her, felt pretty bad about it and promised to write down the rest of the days when the school is closed. So maybe … MAYBE … this unexpected holiday will have been the last.

A foreigner’s Halloween in Vienna

Posted on November 7, 2013 by admin

More or less, we’ve found a place for ourselves here in Vienna. We know our neighbors, we have friends, the boys attend a great school, we’re learning the customs and the language. In the more than 2 1/2 years that we’ve been here, we’ve learned how to make ourselves comfortable here. And while the internal sense of “otherness” never really goes away, I don’t walk around feeling constantly out of place (anymore). We’re not locals, but we’re not tourists. We live here, we’re not just visiting.

So it’s been a while since I felt really “foreign” here in Vienna. But nothing will remind you of being from elsewhere more than celebrating a holiday that doesn’t really exist where you now live.

That’s how Halloween felt for us this year — almost like we were having our own little celebration of it. Halloween is catching on here, but slowly, and only with certain demographics — mostly older school children, teenagers and college students (who don’t need much excuse to celebrate anything). There are a few painted pumpkins for sale at the grocery store, and a few gift and flower shops have a few black and orange items for sale, but mostly, Halloween is only vaguely thought of in Vienna.

Undaunted, and wanting to bring my kids along in some of my favorite family traditions, we decorated, had costumes sent over by Grandma, and planned to trick-or-treat again. Halloween morning, the boys chose their favorite Halloween shirts to wear to school, and when we arrived, we reminded the teachers that it was Halloween. As the only Americans at the entire school, my kids were the only festive ones, which was a little weird. I really wanted to enjoy Halloween to the fullest, though, so after I dropped the boys off at school, I stopped by our local toy store to ask them if they would fill up some Halloween balloons (bought on Amazon — no such thing in Vienna) with helium. They were happy to help, and actually had a small but good selection of costumes and Halloween items. I picked up a bag of fake spiderwebs (and spiders!) and a battery-operated flashing jack-o-lantern (since our actual jack-o-lanterns were already beginning to fall apart). Surprisingly, for such a non-holiday here in Austria, they were having a bit of a run on Halloween items at the toy store, and my balloons caught a lot of interest. The shop keeper insisted that I come back next year to do my Halloween shopping, instead of shopping on Amazon — “We will have lots of things next year!” she assured me. So it looks like it may actually be catching on more and more.

We celebrated this year, again, by getting in our costumes (Liam, who had been practicing in his earlier in the week around the house, happily refused to wear his on the big night) and heading out to the “American area” of Vienna, out near the American school on the western edges of the city. For the first time, we didn’t get lost getting out there, and even met a young woman on the bus who emigrated here from McLean, VA (just like us) the same year that we arrived. Our trick-or-treat experience was almost identical to last year. We visited about a dozen houses before the kids got worn out. Some of the houses were spooky and festive, while some were so plain and quiet that we wouldn’t have known to stop by unless we’d seen other kids there before us. Again, the average age of a trick-or-treater was very high, and we only saw a few little (elementary school aged) kids, and only one other as young as Liam. Also, like last year, the older, Austrian kids did not do a good job of waiting and being patient with the little ones, and they again demonstrated a penchant for showering the neighborhood with shaving cream and silly string. And, again, there was very little parental supervision of the older children (American and Austrian alike — not surprising, as kids over the age of 8 or 9 here typically travel all over the city on their own). And that is all fine, just different. We had a really nice time. We visited friendly people who chatted with the boys about their costumes, and we spent the entire evening speaking entirely in English (which was a fun change for an outing). We met one group of Americans that had set up a bonfire and a table of hot cider and soup for trick-or-treaters and their parents. It was, definitely, a different experience than we would have had in the States, but a very fun and pleasant one.

Truly, though, I miss home and my family on Halloween. Decorating the house in preparation for my boys’ arrival at home made me wish they could be around my mom, and my sister, and my entire family on Halloween. My family really does Halloween very enthusiastically. I felt like I was channeling a bit of that with my spooky decorations (which the kids just loved). I wish we could trick-or-treat with family, stopping by the houses of people we know and love, or hand out candy to other dressed up little ones. I wish the boys’ school had a parade or a party. I wish that most of the other kids trick-or-treating were little, like they are, and that everyone was in costume. I wish they could see the fantastic, over-the-top way that someone always decorates their house. I miss Halloween at home.

I really was reminded of being “from somewhere else” on Halloween, but there were so many little things that were so nice. Finding the cobwebs and spiders at the store, having the shop owner help me out by filling the balloons, the teachers at school making a point of wishing the boys “Happy Halloween!”, the jack-o-lanterns and spooky decorations at the houses we visited, the warm, inclusive feeling of being among other Americans (even if they were strangers, it didn’t feel like it) on this very American holiday. And we were lucky to have great trick-or-treating weather on top of it all (no snow this year!). Halloween is a day I miss home, most certainly, but we had a great, and festive, holiday here this year, as well.

Liam’s first field trip

Posted on November 5, 2013 by admin

Nearly two weeks ago, on a Thursday that was a brief island in the middle of the sea of illness that was most of October, both boys were well enough to go to school. (It was the first time in about 10 days that that had been true.) Liam had been better for a few days at that point, and I was really glad, because I didn’t want him to miss out on his first field trip with his class.

His class took a trip (which required a ride on the U-Bahn for the teachers and the 24 kids in the class) to see a theater performance. I was simultaneously very excited for him and completely terrified. He’s still so little. He’s such a little guy to be out in the world without me. I’m still adjusting to not being with him 24/7 — having him out in the city, experiencing things separate from me is a lot to handle.

He is still such a little guy. Just barely 3. He’s too little to speak up for himself or find his way if he got lost, and besides, his German is minimal (and he’s often hard to understand, even in English). B, who is 5 now, can recite his address when asked in English or German and can explain how to get to his home or school on public transportation. Liam can’t. It’s scary to have him out of school on a trip. I have to put a lot of faith in the teachers, and in God or the Universe or whatever forces might be looking over him.

I don’t know how the teachers manage it. Some days, just dragging my two to school is enough to exhaust every ounce of patience and high-ideal parenting I have. But they do make it work. (There also seems to be some kind of magic power the teachers exert over the kids, because when I see kids out on field trips, they are always so well behaved. It’s amazing.)

I couldn’t help it. There was a knot in my stomach that didn’t unravel until Dan texted me that he’d picked him up. As it turns out, the day was great. They rode on the train and saw a play. (I didn’t get much of the story except that there was a rabbit in it. And there was a song that Liam keeps singing to us, but he doesn’t know the words, so I’m not sure of the story. But he liked it.) The teacher made a point of telling is that he was very attentive and well behaved. And he had a great time. I’m so glad!

I couldn’t help but worry, but I’m so happy that he didn’t worry, and that he enjoyed himself so thoroughly (he’s still telling us about it). Here, this is perfectly normal. Preschool classes go on field trips all the time. (Benjamin has been on dozens at this point.) And kids as small as 3 go along, just fine. Even though this is our third year of “school” here, we’re still getting used to the idea. But, we’re doing better. (This was certainly an improvement over Benjamin’s first trip.) And Liam is doing just great at school . . . even on his field trips. I am so very happy that it went well.

Pink eye

Posted on November 4, 2013 by admin

It feels like we spent at least half of September and October being sick. In retrospect, I shouldn’t really be surprised — we pretty much did the same thing Benjamin’s first year of Kindergarten (preschool). By exposing our little ones, who, up until then, had mostly just been home with me, to a classroom full of new kids (and new germs) it’s kind of inevitable that they will bring everything they encounter home with them and very generously share it with the rest of the family. I thought that *maybe* it would be different this time — since Liam had already been exposed to all of the illnesses Benjamin brought home that first fall, I thought maybe he (and the rest of us) would already be immune to most of what he encountered and would mostly be spared. Apparently not.

Most recently, we spent much of mid-October down for the count with some kind of cold/flu as well as pink eye. (Unless they were just two different manifestations of the same illness, which is certainly also possible.) Amazingly, I think it was the first time I’ve ever suffered from pink eye, and I know it’s the first time that my kids have. Liam started getting sick our last morning in Sankt Koloman, and went on to have a week or so of a bad cold, a nasty cough and sticky eyes. Benjamin and I caught it soon after, and we ended up with about a week where neither of the boys went to school, and over 2 weeks when at least one of us was sick. (Dan, who seems to have a stronger immune system, escaped with a little congestion and a cough, but nothing too serious.) I realized, after it was all over and we’d started to recover, that at that point I had not left the house in 8 days. Not once.

It was fine, really, and we’re all (mostly) better now. But it was a bit of a rough time while we were going through it. It was a little bit tough to go back to having both boys home all day, just as I was getting used to having my mornings to myself. And, since I was sick, too, all I wanted to do was to crawl back into bed in the morning, but it wasn’t to be. I was a little worried that it would be hard to have them home — that I would have forgotten, in just a few weeks, how to have them both home and manage everything. But it was fine (partly because I just ended up being ok with not managing everything). Although I missed drinking my morning coffee without having to worry about where I set the cup, it was quite nice to go back to having them both home all day. I love that they go to school, and I love that they have their friends and their teachers and that they enjoy it so much. But, it was pretty great to get to spend all day with them. (I just wish they hadn’t been sick.)

And it was a good reminder for me of how much I manage to get done in a typical day. I think it’s sometimes easier to appreciate what I’m able to get done when I’m *not* getting it done — and certainly, the cleaning, errands and chores piled up during those weeks of us all being sick. It was good for me to remember that I don’t spend my mornings without the kids just sitting around — there’s a lot that gets done during those hours (and a lot now to catch up on)!

Now, we seem to all be on the mend (I hope it’s really true). I’m hoping we’ll all be able to get back into our new routine, and stick with it for a bit. Hopefully we’ll all stay well for a while and be able to enjoy the rest of the fall.

City mice

Posted on October 29, 2013 by admin

When I was little, I spent a few years living in the country. And for my entire childhood (as best as I remember) I was happy to play in the dirt, walk barefoot in the grass, roll down hillsides, jump in leaf piles and splash in muddy puddles. I don’t know if those early years living in the country set me on the path of being comfortable with nature, or if that was just always who I was going to be. Certainly, as the years went on and I became completely enamored of and quite involved in the world of horses, I became even more comfortable with all of the things that outdoor life includes — dirt, bugs, heat, cold, splinters, mosquito bites, an occasional wild animal, and a rare but real need to be capable of some level of first aid and crisis management.

In my vision of life as a parent, I always imagined my kids would be like me. Dirt, bugs, weather, outdoors — no problem.

Not so.

Although I’ve done so far (I think) an amazing job of raising kids who are great travelers, have open minds, and who really know how to roll with it when things don’t go according to plan, they are, in different degrees, not so much down with “nature”. Don’t get me wrong — they like playing outside and generally being outdoors, but only as long as there is not too much dirt, too many animals (wild or domesticated, but dogs are ok) or pretty much any bugs at all.

I think it’s all the city living. Sure, we VISIT the countryside — we hike, and play, and stay on working farms — but we come back to our attic apartment in the chic downtown of one of the cleanest, nicest and safest cities I’ve ever seen. While at home in the US, there would have been trips to the barn to visit the horses, pumpkin patches in the fall and berry picking in the spring, outdoor swimming pools, camping trips and even just visits to Grandpa’s house (which has a yard and a very cool tire swing), here there is none of that. Pumpkins and Christmas trees have been picked and cut before we buy them, the swimming pools are indoors, horses pull carriages and are not to be touched, and camping is something we do in our living room.

This most recent trip to Sankt Koloman reminded me of how much my boys are “city mice”. The farm we stayed on is a working organic farm. They have cats (including a kitten who was a big hit with the kids), rabbits, chickens (Benjamin collected the eggs for our breakfast one day), goat and cows. Both boys were intrigued by the animals (watching the cows get milked was the highlight of Benjamin’s trip, and Liam keeps asking where the kitten is) but they were not fond of the mud on their boots nor the inevitable bees and flies that come from being in the country in nice weather.

I suspect this will change on its own after we go back to the US. Before we left, our lives in the States included experiencing a lot more of nature, more regularly, than we do now. I imagine it will again. I really hope my boys will learn that the bees and bugs and dirt are all a small price to pay for the joy of being outdoors. Really, I know they will — and I suspect that in a few years, when I’m pulling dead beetles out of the lint filter on the dryer, I’ll laugh at myself for ever thinking that they might not.

R’s house

Posted on October 8, 2013 by admin

Although I’m an introvert, I like to talk to people. It’s fun getting to know new people, hearing their stories, finding out what life is like for them. It’s one of the things I’ve enjoyed about all of our travels, and one of the (very many) things I’ve loved so much about visiting England, Scotland and Ireland — since I speak English, connecting with the people we’ve met there has been the easiest and the most rewarding. On our first trip, we met lots of new people, and this last time (back in July and August of this year), especially since we went back to some of the same places, we made some good friends.

Our single favorite place to stay has been Littletown Farm, where the food is amazing, the rooms are cozy, the scenery is stunning and the company is warm and charming. Besides, one of the Beatrix Potter stories I grew up with was actually set at the farm. (What’s not to love?)

Along with our wonderful hosts there, Rob and Sarah, are their children. Their youngest, R (he’s not my child, so I’m not putting his name on the Internet!), is only a few months younger than Benjamin, and on our first visit, the two of them instantly bonded over a love of Lightning McQueen. Ever since that first trip, Littletown has been known as “R’s house” in our family, and both of my boys would often ask when we were going back to “visit our friend R”. (In fact, everyone we met on our entire trip to the UK who asked the boys what we were doing on our vacation was told that “we’re visiting our friends in England”.)

My boys were so happy to be reunited with their friend on this most recent trip. Each morning, and after every meal, the constant question was, “Where’s R?”, and Benjamin explored all over the property seeking him out to play. (I think R enjoyed it too — he apparently talked in his sleep about playing with Benjamin, too.) B even got to explore some parts of the farm usually off-limits to guests, since he was escorted by R.

My boys loved playing with R. They started asking about our next visit to R’s house before we got back to Austria. I’m so happy to see my kids making new friends as we travel, too. And I’m sure we’ll make it back to R’s house again.

Celebrating Liam’s birthday

Posted on October 4, 2013 by admin

Happy birthday to Liam! Just over a week ago, my little guy turned the big 3. It is amazing and wonderful to watch him grow up. (He’s getting so big!)

The birthday celebration didn’t quite go as planned, though. Our original intent had been for all of us to take the day off and to spend the day at the zoo (per Liam’s request). In the days leading up to his birthday, though, he was quite sick with no indications of a miraculous, overnight recovery. So, we changed the plan. We certainly weren’t going to spend the day at the zoo, and since B was going to have to miss a field trip at school that day, we decided instead that B would go to school, Dan would work for the morning, Liam and I would stay home, and then we would all take the afternoon off to be together and celebrate. It seemed like a good plan.

But then, Liam woke up on his birthday, and our plans had to change. He was happy and excited that it was his big day. He was tired and still sick, but he was starting to feel better. And though he seemed completely unbothered by rescheduling our zoo trip, he was very disappointed that we weren’t all spending the day together. B was too. All Liam wanted for his birthday was his brother to stay home with him. They were both very sweet and very sad. How could we say no to that?

So, we changed the plan again. We agonized a bit over the decision, but ultimately, we called the school (and got lectured a bit by the principal who reminded us how important this year of school is for B), notified Dan’s work, and spent the day at home together. If what Liam wanted for his birthday was the day spent together, then that’s what we’d do. And if we had to seem a little flaky to work and school to make it happen, then so be it (it was a little tough for us to truly be ok with that, though). Liam only gets one 3rd birthday, after all.

It was a lovely birthday. We opened presents, the boys helped me finish the cake, and we got to Skype with Grandma. We snuggled and watched tv and rested much more than is usual for our family on a birthday. It could not have been better. It was a great and happy birthday. And, in retrospect, I’m so glad we decided as we did. I would much rather feel a little sheepish at calling school and work at the last minute than regret not making ourselves a bit uncomfortable in order to give Liam what he wanted most for his birthday — the day with his family. (And we’ll go to the zoo this weekend, assuming everyone is well.)

(And, as it turns out, all was well. B didn’t miss anything earth-shattering that day at school, Dan didn’t miss anything important. The next day, Liam was feeling well enough to go to school, and his teacher and classmates greeted him with their own birthday celebration, including pumpkin muffins baked by the class. It was a pretty perfect birthday, after all.)

A Mommy Abroad

Our big adventure, as a family of three.

Category Archives: Kids and Parenting