Playing host

Posted on July 1, 2011 by admin

So far, so good: I made it to the arrival of my guests without having my head explode. Success! (Although, the last minute getting together of stuff and random cleaning did almost send me over the edge.)

Dan’s parents arrived safe and sound (and without getting lost) right at the end of nap time today. We hung out here for the afternoon, and went to dinner. Benjamin is having an awesome time playing with them, and Liam is loving all of the attention and activity, as well.

In addition to enjoying having them, we’re really looking forward to getting to be the relative experts for a few days — after nearly 3 months of always being the least informed person in a conversation, it’s an exciting prospect to be the ones who know what’s going on, where things are, and even a little of the local language. (I’m kind of used to being a smarty pants, and I’ve grown unaccustomed to that feeling.) We already experienced a little of this at dinner tonight: it’s inevitable, because we live here, that we’d know where to go and what was good on the menu (which would be true anytime anyone visited in a new city) but we got to add to that knowing a little German (at least enough to order and ask for the check).

We have sightseeing plans for the weekend, as well as normal errand running (we still have things that have to get done, after all). I’m looking forward to getting to revisit some of our favorite locations around Vienna. And, I won’t lie, it’s going to be fun to show off a little of what we’ve learned and figured out.

Preparing for guests

Posted on June 30, 2011 by admin

Dan’s parents will arrive tomorrow — they’ll be our first guests since we moved here. We’re all very excited to be able to show them around the fun stuff we’ve found in Vienna, and Benjamin is absolutely thrilled that his “Topes” are coming to see him. We are very happy that they’re coming.

I’ve been busy over the past week or so preparing to have them visit: we still have lots of unpacked boxes (which is not going to be completely addressed by the time of their arrival), cleaning the house as best we can (the moutons are putting up a good fight) and rearranging things so that everyone will have a place to sleep that is relatively comfortable.

All enthusiasm aside, I’m a little stressed out. I think that a minimum of stress is unavoidable in my situation: I’m dangerously close to the limit of my capabilities every day, so adding the work required to prepare for guests is asking a lot. (In addition to that, this relationship is not the easiest or most comfortable one that I have, and that raises the stress levels, too.) I woke up this morning irritable, with my nails chewed and my back aching — and our guests have yet to arrive.

We’ll see how things go. We are excited to have them visit, and I am doing everything I can to prepare things to be as nice and hospitable as possible while still maintaining my sanity.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can . . .

Learning German . . . kind of

Posted on June 29, 2011 by admin

Language is so profound. Without it, we have no way of categorizing or remembering what we experience. The words we have in our vocabulary literally shape our perception of the experiences we have. We can’t understand or process a concept we have no words for (part of why science, philosophy and art can be so difficult to understand — where concepts are created and discovered, words often have trouble keeping up).

And that’s not even to mention the value of being able to communicate with other people, which is another profound experience.

Because of all of that, and for the sake of my sanity in general, I’m starting to work on learning German. I bought a phrase book back before I came here to visit in 2010, and I rely heavily on Google Translate, but other than ordering in a restaurant, I mainly rely on the English skills and kindness of the people I encounter. I want to do better. (Although I doubt I’ll make too many strides in 2 years, but we’ll see. Lucky for me most people here speak English and are remarkably patient.)

I bought Rosetta Stone months before we moved here, but I haven’t even opened the box yet. Dan & I have researched language classes (and need to do something about registering for them). The problem with both of those options, though, is time — I have very, very little. So, I’ve started working with a site that Dan found, Memrise, which is working remarkably well, at least for vocabulary. I’ve only done two evenings so far, but I’m learning a little.

I still can’t really say anything useful, but I’ll get there. Off to study . . . tschüss!

The trade off

Posted on June 28, 2011 by admin

I feel like I’m living two separate lives.

In the evenings and on the weekends, I’m sightseeing around Europe, eating in lovely restaurants and enjoying more leisure time than I was used to at home. We are intentionally not spending as much of our “free” time cleaning/organizing/doing chores/running errands as we did at home — we’re trying to relax and enjoy as much of this experience as possible, so we’re giving ourselves a break on the minutiae of life in favor of getting out and experiencing Vienna. This part of my life is fabulous — exactly what you would imagine an extended European vacation to be.

But during the day, during the week, my life is pretty much exactly the same as it was at home, except harder. Dan’s hours are longer here, and I don’t have anyone to help me (my mom used to come over at least one afternoon each week so I could get a break). I also have a lot less social interaction than I’m used to. The day to day tasks are the same: diapers, meals, laundry, cleaning, doctor’s appointments, errands, just with a different location, a language I don’t speak and less support.

I feel like I’m having mood swings: relaxed euphoria on the weekends and exhausted isolation during the weeks. The weekends are amazing, and I’m getting to add experiences to our lives that we absolutely would not have had any other way. The trade off is the amount of work I have to do during the week.

I think it’s worth it. (Although there are moments, in the middle of the week, when the memories and plans of the weekends seem far away and it’s hard to remember that.) Soon, too, we’ll start taking some time off of work and travelling in Europe — and that’s pretty much all upside. The work is temporary and the memories and new perspectives will be forever. (But it’s Tuesday evening now, so I’d better keep reminding myself of that.)

Ouch

Posted on June 27, 2011 by admin

Pain is an effective teacher. No matter how many times you are warned that something will hurt, nothing will drive that message home like experiencing it for yourself.

Benjamin got one of those lessons this evening. He reached out a touched a light bulb at the restaurant where we were having dinner. I didn’t see it in time to warn him about this particular one (he climbed up onto the bench seat in the restaurant and the very first thing he did was reach out and touch the light in the shelf behind his seat) but I’ve warned him many, many times about that kind of thing before. (The light bulb was easily within his reach — it is a setup you would probably not see in the States particularly due to the litigation potential in exactly this kind of situation.)

My poor guy. It hurt. He cried. We rinsed it in cold water and put a cold compress on it. I held him all through dinner and the entire way home. He has a blister now, and, of course (good lesson or not) I’m worried about him and I don’t want him to be hurt. We called the doctor and we’re going to see her tomorrow. It’s hard to see him be hurt, but I imagine he’ll be unlikely to repeat this particular mistake again in the future — less likely, evidently, than my repeated warnings caused him to be. If I could magically accept all the pain he will ever experience in his life and suffer it myself, I would gladly do so, but life just doesn’t work that way. Benjamin will have to, eventually, be the one in charge of the decision of whether or not to touch light bulbs, along with so many other things (which will just keep me up all night worrying if I try to create a list).

I know that I can’t protect him from everything. I will continue to do the best that I can, and hope that when something slips through the cracks, that maybe there’s at least a lesson in there somewhere. (I really, really hope there is.)

Finding our way

Posted on June 26, 2011 by admin

I have a phenomenally good sense of direction. Some people are visual learners, some are auditory learners . . . I’m a spatial learner (there are other options, too). If I write something down, my best bet if I’m trying to recall it is to try to remember where on the page I wrote it down, or the shape of the words. I can pack the back of a car (or a closet, or a refrigerator) with a minimum of both effort and wasted space. This means, too, that I typically know exactly where I am — I have a rough sense of how far I’ve travelled (by foot or vehicle) and generally which direction. I can tell you, almost anytime, which direction is north and in which direction any other landmark is to where I am.

But Vienna messes with me. It’s partly because there was a map outside of our first apartment here that wasn’t oriented north/south (who does that?) so my initial explorations here were all “off” in terms of cardinal directions, and I often find myself snapping back into this odd (and false) coordinate system. It’s also because I swear there isn’t a true right angle in this city (that’s also true in our house, which really takes some getting used to). I’m accustomed to knowing where I am, and naturally knowing which direction to go, but I find that nearly half the time here, my instincts are off (not usually totally wrong, just tweaked a little). It’s unnerving and it’s messing with my head.

It happened again this evening: we went out for pizza and ice cream, very near where we first lived when we came to Vienna. We took the train to get there, but since the evening was pleasant, we decided to walk home. I got us there, but we came out somewhere completely different than I expected. I’m just not used to it.

I’ve been discovering, however, that Benjamin seems to have inherited my sense of direction and space. We were walking down the street where we lived when we moved here. The building itself is not particularly noteworthy, but a block after we passed it, we crossed the Donaukanal, which is pretty hard to miss. Benjamin wanted to stop and look at the water, and the boats and all the people down by the water, so we did, and then we continued across the bridge. About 3/4 of the way across, he stopped, turned and looked over his shoulder and said, “Oh, that’s where we used to live” and pointed back down the street towards our old building.

I’m glad to see that one of us seems to know where we’re going.

Celebrating: day two

Posted on June 25, 2011 by admin

Yesterday was my & Dan’s 11th wedding anniversary, and we decided to divide the celebration into two pieces — one, because our plans included the kids and two, because then you get to celebrate on two days, and what’s the downside to that? I say “we” decided, but it was really me — Dan & I have had a tradition (now 8 years old) of taking turns planning our anniversary celebration. We mostly do it as a surprise for the other, and it really makes it a lot of fun — rather than compromising and collaborating every year, we take turns, so we alternately get the fun of making and executing the plans or enjoying the surprise.

Yesterday, Dan came home from work a bit early and we packed the kids up and headed out to the Schonbrun Palace. Even though I’ve now seen a bit more of the city, I still think it’s the most beautiful part that I’ve seen so far. We hired a horse & carriage, and rode all around the grounds of the palace. It was lovely — the grounds are beautiful and peaceful, and seeing them in a carriage really lets you imagine yourself in a different era, pulling up in front of one of the grandest palaces of all time. Pretty amazing. And the kids did great: Benjamin loved it (he’s been asking to go on a “horse trailer ride” since we got here) and even Liam did pretty well for most of the ride. We finished up with a quick dinner (it was getting late) at the cafe at the palace, and then made it home before the rain started.

I had also picked out a restaurant that I thought would be reasonably romantic and kid-friendly at the same time (not the easiest of tasks). We saved that for tonight, so this evening we rode the tram and a bus out to the west of Vienna, and up onto the closest “berg” to the city. It was perfect. It was reasonably busy without being crowded, but there was plenty of room for Benjamin to run laps around the table without being in anyone’s way. The outside seating was shaded from all but some dappled sunlight, and as the evening came on, it was cool but not too chilly (reminded me more of late September than June). The view was amazing: you could look across the garden and outdoor seating and look right onto Vienna and the mountains beyond. There was a little overlook at the edge of the yard where we went and found exactly where we live (or, at least, the church on the next block, so near enough). And there was a wedding reception going on in a little hall beside the garden seating, which just seemed perfect. We ate, we drank wine, we explored with Benjamin and cuddled Liam. We stayed out much later than we usually do and then we trekked back home and put the kids to bed. It was lovely.

And, it wasn’t diminished in the least by having the kids with us. We usually make a point of going out on our anniversary alone together, but that wasn’t an option this year, as we don’t have childcare established yet. I thought it was wonderful to have Benjamin and Liam with us, both for our “horse trailer ride” yesterday and for our dinner today. We explained to Benjamin that we were celebrating our anniversary, and he asked lots of questions and told us both “Happy Anniversary!” several times. It was wonderful to include them in our celebration. I’m sure there will be times in the future where we’ll enjoy some alone time for our anniversary, but this year, our celebration was absolutely perfect and I would not have changed a single thing.

Anniversary . . . mit kinder

Posted on June 24, 2011 by admin

11 years ago today, Dan & I got married. It really does not feel like it’s been that long, in that I don’t feel like the time Dan & I have been married encompasses nearly 1/3 of my life so far. If I look at what we’ve done in that time, though, I guess it does seem like 11 years.

Many things have changed in that time. Dan & I have each changed (I think, mostly, for the better and more mature), our jobs have changed (at least twice, each), our continent of residence has changed and we’ve had two children (not at all in that order). When we got married, we didn’t even know if we wanted to have kids — neither of us could imagine a time where we would feel like we were grown up, responsible enough or “ready” to have kids. We didn’t think there would ever be a time where we’d want to put our needs, desires and ambitions on the back burner for the sake of being the kind of parents we wanted to be if we ever had kids.

What we didn’t know is that it doesn’t work that way. (How could we know?) I never looked around and said, “Hmm, I think I’d like to radically change my life, my priorities and my goals so that I can have kids.” Instead, I literally sat up in bed one night, in shock at the realization that I didn’t know how to imagine my future without picturing myself as a mommy. It wasn’t a lack of imagination — I could think of things I’d do with my time/money/energy/youth in the event that I didn’t have children. It was realizing that what I wanted for my future was to be a mom . . . and after I realized that, nothing else mattered.

At first, we had plans that involved staying in our careers as dance instructors. We devised complex strategies for childcare, travel, competitions and finances that included being parents and full-time dance instructors. I worked until I was over 38 weeks pregnant, on my feet and in high heels, so that I could insure that my job and income would be secure for me to return to. We had plans to return to our students and to competition. And it all evaporated within the first 12 hours after Benjamin was born.

In that first day, I knew I didn’t want to go back to work at the studio, and I didn’t want to go back to work at all if we could figure out a way to make it happen. I don’t know that Dan & I have ever been so much on the same page about something without needing to talk much about it. We immediately set about making new plans, with new priorities and new goals, for our new lives as parents. We have ended up in places (literally and otherwise) that I never saw coming.

We are more to each other than just the other halves of Benjamin’s and Liam’s parents, but that honestly accounts for most of what our relationship is to one another right now. That’s ok — that’s where our energy needs to be right now. But looking back over the past 11 years, I don’t think I could have chosen a better person to take this particular journey with . . . and I’m as surprised as anyone.

Happy anniversary, Dan. Thank you for being on this grand adventure with me. I love you.

Dream job

Posted on June 23, 2011 by admin

In the morning, I usually wake up to hugs and “Good morning, Mommy — how was your sleep?” from a groggy eyed Benjamin, or to cooing and a snuggle from Liam. As the day goes on, I feed my boys, I change diapers, I enforce nap time. I build roads from blocks for cars to drive on and I play ball in my living room. I try to juggle playing, being in charge, taking care of errands and trying to keep the house at least a little clean (Benjamin helps — really). I run races, put puzzles together, play games on the computer, answer lots of questions, share ice cream and wash sticky faces and fingers. I try to get my kids out so that we can see some of this fantastic city (because I know that all too soon this opportunity will have passed). I give baths, I cuddle, I read stories. The other day, I filled a wading pool using a 32 ounce plastic cup and countless trips back and forth from my kitchen to the terrace. Tonight, Benjamin fell asleep during story time — I looked over, halfway through our second book, and he was out.

This is the best job ever.

It is hard, the hours are endless, I am often exhausted and sometimes pushed past the limits of my strength (mental, physical and emotional), there are no sick days and a break is really hard to come by. But this is exactly the job I want to have. I am so grateful that I get to spend this time with my wonderful kids. I complain about it sometimes, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. If I had millions of dollars in the bank, this is exactly what I’d do (although I’d hire someone to make sure the house stays clean). What a great feeling: I get to wake up every morning and do exactly what I would do if money were no object. I love it.

Lippizaner surprise

Posted on June 22, 2011 by admin

We were out, first thing this morning, to pick up some medicine for Liam’s (now infected) eye. It’s rare that I’m up and out with the kids before 9:30/10:00-ish without Dan, but we had been to the apothecary and were done with our errand before 9:00 this morning. We stopped by Benjamin’s favorite fountain, which is right outside the store, and then I asked him (because I had no other immediate plans) what he’d like to do next.

“Ice cream!” Well, I wasn’t sure if you could get ice cream in Vienna at 9:00 a.m. on a Wednesday, but why not give it a try? (It turns out you can’t, although, frustratingly, the shops are open, they just aren’t serving ice cream.) Unsuccessful, but no less enthusiastic, we decided to stop for a coffee (for me) and a cookie (for Benjamin; poor Liam got nothing). It was lovely to be out for a leisurely walk, but the day was already getting hot, so I decided to wander towards home.

On the way, we walked within a block of the stables for the Lippizaner horses at the Spanish Riding School, so I asked Benjamin if he wanted to see the horses or go home, and he wanted to see the horses. He loves to peer through the windows of the stable for a peek of a horse sticking his head out of the stall, or someone doing chores. We were very lucky this morning — they must do most of the cleaning chores in the morning, because there was more activity around the stables than we had ever seen before. Stalls were being mucked, hay was being moved around, the courtyard was being swept, there was a tractor, too! We even saw a horse being taken out of his stall and taken into the interior of the barn.

We stayed for a little while, and then things started to settle down, so we prepared to leave. I’m so glad we didn’t. Just a moment later, Benjamin gasped and pointed, and I turned and looked — the horses were being brought out of their stalls and across the courtyard. They continued through the door to the stable, though the little alcove where we were standing, across the street (where traffic had been halted) and into their performance hall. They passed within a few feet of where we were standing, in a parade. They were all groomed and tacked and ready to perform (or practice, I don’t actually know which). They disappeared into the hall across the street and traffic began again.

This definitely has to go on my list of favorite moments so far in Vienna. I’ve seen the Lippizaners perform (once in the US and once here in Vienna when I came last year to visit Dan) but it was wonderful to have them so close, and more so for it to be such a surprise. They were only there a moment, but there were only a few people standing in the entry to the stable as they came through — it was a very special experience. I don’t know how many days a week this might happen, but I will do my best, in the future, to find myself outside of the door of the stable around 10:00 on Wednesday mornings, at least.

A Mommy Abroad

Our big adventure, as a family of three.

Category Archives: Adventure in Vienna