Category Archives: Adventure in Vienna

Liam’s 3rd birthday

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To my darling Liam —
Wow!  You’re 3!  What a big guy you are, and what a wonderful year we’ve had together — another chapter in your great adventure!  I love you so much, and I feel so fortunate to get to watch you grow and learn every day.  You are such a happy, loving, enthusiastic, bright and snuggly boy — I’m so glad I’m your mom!

013You’ve grown up a lot in this past year.  You’ve become quite an articulate talker, explaining everything you see and think.  (You aren’t always very patient with us when we don’t understand, though.)  You are fast and strong and sometimes a little too brave — you like to climb and jump, and you’ve got a lot of confidence that you’ll be fine when you land (or that I will catch you).  You’re a strong-willed little guy, too, and you test every boundary we set for you, just to make sure we mean it and to find out exactly what will happen if you try it.  This time last year, you were still working on leaving babyhood behind — you still carried your pacifier around with you almost everywhere — but in the past year, you’ve really become quite a little boy (although you’ll always be my baby).  I love to watch you grow.

Just recently, you started school, and you’ve done an amazing job getting adjusted.  You love your teacher, and you already have friends at school.  You *really* like that you get to go to school with Benjamin.  Each morning, when I drop you off, you happily go to play in your class — I don’t always even get a hug and a kiss before you’re off.  You are happy to go to school in the morning, and so happy to come home in the afternoon.  I love hearing about your day.

You learn so quickly.  You count, and read your numbers, and you remember things so well.  In just the first few weeks of school, you’ve learned so many new things, thoroughly charmed the teachers, and come home singing several new songs (in German)!  And you are very clever — you love to make a joke or say something silly, just so you can burst out in your loud laugh or watch us all giggle (you especially love to make Benjamin laugh).

You are just an amazing brother to Benjamin.  The two of you are so sweet together, always thinking of each other and wanting to play together (when you’re not driving each other crazy, which does happen, too).  At school, the two of you play in the garden together every day.  You love to do things together, and you’re usually quite happy to play by the rules Benjamin decides on.  As long as you’re with your big brother, you’re happy.

One of my favorite things about you is how much you like to cuddle.  You love to be held and to snuggle, and I love to snuggle with you, too.  I am so glad I get to hold you and kiss you every day.

If there was one thing that I think of when I think of you, though, it is the joyful enthusiasm with which you tackle each day.  You are a happy guy, and though you know what you want, and you’re never shy about taking care of yourself (nor quiet about letting us know what you need — which I also love), you are just generally so cheerful.  You love to play, and you will happily make a game of anything, anywhere we are.  You are a good sport, a good traveller, a good team player and just a great guy.  I am inspired by your optimism and willingness to choose happiness in almost every circumstance.

I love you, my Liam.  You are my sweet baby, and I feel so grateful to be your mom.  Having you in my life is a wonderful privilege.  I love you so entirely.  I love your enthusiasm, your humor, your sweetness and the strength of your opinions.  I love your big smile and your big laugh.  I love your clever mind and your loving heart.  You are an awesome 3 year old kid, and I am a lucky mom.  Happy birthday, wonderful boy.

Vienna Masters 2013, part 1

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20130919-151341.jpgIt’s back again! The Vienna Masters horse show, with world-class jumping and dressage competitions, is here in Vienna. And, like last year, it’s right at Vienna’s Rathaus, and this only a few blocks’ quick walk for me.

For the first few days, they have a few events each morning with free admission. Today was the first day, and I brought along my friend Elaine (also an American living here in Vienna). It’s a fantastic event — beautiful horses, entries from around the world, and the thrill of competition, all in a stunning venue.

We had a great morning. The day started with a little rain, but by the time we arrived, it had turned sunny and cool. We watched two show jumping classes and did a little window shopping. The horses and riders put on a great show, and we even got to celebrate the victory of an American rider. We got to hear the Star Spangled Banner played here in Vienna, which was a little weird, but pretty great.

20130919-151420.jpgI wonder, though, watching dozens of riders, some of whom have travelled across thousands of miles WITH their horses — how do they do it? The big-name riders who compete in the evenings do this professionally, so that I understand, but what about the riders we saw today? Are they professionals? Do they take time off from work to fly their horses around the world to participate in events like this one? And what about the pony events? Are there parents who fly their children’s ponies to Europe for the weekend? Does that really happen?!? (I really don’t know. Although I used to compete, quite enthusiastically, in my younger days, competition at this level is foreign to me.)

It was a beautiful day, spent with great company, watching beautiful horses. I’m going back tomorrow to see one of the evening events, and I think we’ll take the boys over on Saturday for the free admission program (which includes the pony jumpers). I’m so happy to have this event so close by and to have some free time to be able to enjoy it. But all of it reminds me of how much I truly miss riding (and my horses at home).

Windigkeit

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I think I may have mentioned it about 1,000 times so far, but I really love the weather here in Vienna.  I love how it’s generally pretty cool (not counting July and August), I love that rain is just a fact of life (pretty much everyone carries an umbrella everywhere, all the time), I love the snow in the winter, I even like how cold it is, and for how long, once winter arrives.  (I’d much rather be cold than hot, and bundling up to be outside makes it even nicer to come back into a cozy house.)  And although I miss thunderstorms (they’re pretty rare here — we get only a few per year), I do really love the wind.

Vienna gets very, very windy.  Often.  The wind whips right down out of the mountains and across Vienna.  It rattles the windows, and howls through the window frames and under the doors.  (It really does.  I’m not being poetic.  And I love the German word for the sound the wind makes — raunen.  It’s perfect.)

We had another very windy night, the night before last.  Even with only a few windows in the house cracked open a bit, the doors around the inside of the house blew closed in the night, the wind moaned outside and the rain splattered the windows.  It was a great night to be snuggled up at home.  It’s just the middle of September, but fall is definitely here and winter is already on its way.  (The high temperature here yesterday was only about 55, and that happened around 7 this morning.)  I love it.

A friend from home

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Yesterday, I was lucky enough to get to spend most of my day with a dear friend from home, Carrie.  She’s here in Vienna for a business conference, but had some free time yesterday, so we met up, I played a bit of a tour guide, and we got to hang out.  It was so lovely to see her, to visit and catch up, and to get to show her a little bit of Vienna.

Carrie and I have been friends for a long time — over 30 years.  She’s my oldest friend (no, not like THAT).  We met in kindergarten, when we were just 5.  Not only is it amazingly fantastic that I am lucky enough to have had a great friend like her for that long, but there is something particularly special about the fact that she got to visit yesterday with Benjamin, who is now also 5.  How great is that?!?  32 years ago, we met in Ms. Gill’s kindergarten class at Sherwood Elementary, and now, here we are, in Vienna, Austria, and she spent the day with me and my little boys.  How many people get to have an experience like that?  (I feel very fortunate that I do!)  And, as in the wonderful way of good friends, hanging out with her yesterday felt as comfortable and familiar as it would have if we’d had to drive only a few minutes to see each other, instead of her having to fly overnight to get here.

Carrie has two little boys, too, and one of the (many) things that continues to excite me about moving home again is that, once we’re there, our kids will have the chance to become good friends, too, and they might even have the good fortune of creating friendships that could, truly, last their whole lives.

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At loose ends

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Having some time on my own is wonderful.  I’ve already stopped calling it “free time” because it’s been very busy time, mostly full of very exciting things like folding laundry and sweeping the floor.  I actually am having trouble figuring out how to fit all of the things I want to do with this time into the time that I have.  My to-do list is longer than the hours I have available.  Eventually, I’ll figure out what is important enough to get my attention and what will need to be put off (but it’s a little overwhelming while I figure it out, because everything feels like IT MUST GET DONE).

Oddly, though, I am feeling overwhelmed and aimless at the same time.  While I have a ton of stuff to do, some exciting, some mundane, some essential, there’s also an odd sensation of drifting.  I have lots to do, but I’m totally on my own while I do it.  Instead of weaving every moment of my day around the whims, tantrums and snack schedules of two little people, I’m independent.  That’s liberating, but also lacking in definition and direction.

While it’s nice having time to myself, it’s also lonely, and it feels a little . . . useless, maybe?  After being “on” as a mom every minute, and filling my time with menial but important tasks like folding laundry and changing diapers, running errands at the mall or sitting down for a solitary coffee feels pleasant (in that there’s less poop involved) but a little . . . superfluous.  It’s a strange sensation.  I’m not working, I’m not taking care of the kids, I’m not devoting every minute to the household . . . so what AM I doing?

So, I think I’m starting to get it.  I think this is what I’ve heard other expat “trailing spouses” talk about.  There is some sadness, a slight loneliness, a vague panic of being on my own.  It’s not being “alone” — after 5 years of almost never having solitude, I find the alone part of it very peaceful.  It’s a kind of pressure, an expectation.  Now that I actually have time to myself, what am I going to make of it?  What am I going to do?  I have no excuses for not squeezing every bit out of being here now … but what does that even mean?

So, I’m a little overwhelmed.  On the one hand, I don’t want to spend every minute that the kids are in school folding laundry and going to the grocery store.  On the other hand, I want to feel useful.  This is a whole new world for me.  I think it’s going to take a while to sort it all out.

Win-win

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The kids have done an amazing job adapting to being (back) in school.  Benjamin loves being back (maybe more than he ever has before) and Liam has adjusted to going to school so quickly that I don’t quite believe it (I’m still kind of waiting for the “your kid is inconsolable” phone call that hasn’t come yet).  Yesterday, Liam was so eager to get into class and start playing that he didn’t even come over for a hug and a kiss.  I just got a wave from halfway across the room.  (I was fine, really, if a little shocked.)

Since the kids started school, a week and a half ago, our lives have pretty much revolved around school.  The housework hasn’t gotten done, the errands haven’t been run, we’ve been entirely out of any kind of a routine.  And that’s fine — that’s what we expected, and what we wanted.  Our focus has been on helping Liam have the easiest transition possible to school, and we’re all willing to live with dust bunnies for a while to make it happen.

The first few days of school I actually went to Liam’s class with him and stayed for an hour or so.  Then, I progressed to leaving him for a little while and wandering around the shops near the school to bide my time.  Then, at the end of last week, I gave him and hug and a kiss and dropped him off, but I still lingered near the school . . . just in case.  Monday and Tuesday of this week, he actually stayed for the entire morning (8:30-ish until noon) but I didn’t really trust it, so I still hung out in the general vicinity of the school.  Since we live almost 40 minutes from the school, I was dreading getting all the way home, only to get a call that he needed me, and then being 40 minutes away from being able to rescue him.  But, it didn’t happen — that call never came.

So yesterday, I was brave.  I left.  I dropped both boys off and then went to run some errands (that weren’t right near the school).  I bought some shampoo (for me!), made a haircut appointment (for me!), picked up lunch for the family and then went home to take a shower (all by myself!), drink a cup of coffee (without having to worry where I set the cup), do some laundry and straighten up the house (which all took a shockingly short time).

I love my kids.  I have adored spending the last 5 years with at least one of them all the time.  But, to be honest, yesterday was pretty awesome.  I truly surprised myself with how much I was able to get done, without stress.  The house looks better than it has in weeks, I took care of some things from my to-do list, and I feel GREAT.  The best part is that when the boys came in after school, they were exhausted, but I was “done”.  My chores and errands were finished, I’d already taken a shower, lunch was on the table.  I got to spend the whole afternoon really *with* the kids, instead of getting stuff done and trying to play at the same time.  Yesterday was only the first day of getting close to our new routine, but so far, it really seems like a win for everyone.

I remember

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I’ve not been in the US on September 11 for several years now, but judging by Facebook (which may not be the most reliable source), it seems that “never forget” is what people say today.  I don’t really understand it — I can’t imagine that anyone who was alive in 2001 and who has an ounce of humanity in them could possibly forget the horror of that day.  But, then, what else could we say?  What is there to say but, “I haven’t forgotten.  I remember too.”

I do remember.  I remember the shock and the disbelief and the slow-coming understanding that people did this on purpose.  I remember the confusion.  I remember how afraid we all were, and how many things in the world were suddenly unimportant.  I remember watching people die on tv.  I remember watching people jump to their deaths because they didn’t want to burn.   I remember watching firefighters and police officers run to their deaths just so they could TRY to save someone else’s life.  I remember watching the towers fall and knowing how many lives had just ended.  I remember hope dying, too.  I remember frantic phone calls and reassurances from friends.  I remember ash-covered faces and heartbroken families.  I remember clear blue skies and eerie silence and realizing I, and the whole world, had been changed.

I remember.

I will never forget.  I could never forget.  I remember, too.

Again, autumn

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We woke up this morning to cool, crisp air.  Fall comes on pretty early in Vienna.  A few weeks ago, near the end of August, we woke up one morning and we knew that summer was over.  That’s how it happens here.  Something in the air and the light changes, and you just know that summer has left Vienna and it won’t be back until June or July next year.  The heat is gone, there is no more humidity, the breezes are cool, the evening starts to come noticeably earlier.  Summer was over.

Today feels like the next piece of the transformation.  Today doesn’t just feel like “not summer”, today feels like fall.  It’s still warm today, but last night was quite cool.  Each morning, for the past few days, there have been little piles of leaves in the courtyards and at the bottom of the escalators in the U-bahn stations.  I know we’ll use the a/c less and less, it will start to rain more often, and, in what feels like just moments, it will be time to bundle up the whole family every time we leave the house.

For now, though, it’s fall, my favorite season.  And fall in Vienna is really lovely.  Cool, crisp, breezy and beautiful.  Vienna is such a lovely city, and there are so many outdoor areas to explore.  The pumpkins are showing up at the market already (to eat, not to carve), as well as the apples.  Fall has arrived.  And now that I have some free time (Liam is doing a great job of adjusting to school — I think tomorrow may be my first day of not lingering in the area of the school, just in case he needs me), I am looking forward to exploring.

Hoffest

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Every September, some of our neighbors put together a block party – a Hoffest – which more correctly translates as a “courtyard party”, which makes sense, since it’s held in one of the four courtyards of our building.  Everyone in the building is invited, whether they live or work here.  We all bring some food or drink to share, someone brings a grill, someone puts up balloons.  Our first year here, we went, and we made an effort to meet people and connect, but being new and knowing almost no German, it was daunting (although we did get a very neat tour of the hidden catacombs below our building).  Last year, we were on vacation in early September.  But last Friday we got to go to our second Hoffest, and it was a great success.

006It was really lovely, and our comfort and ease with our neighbors and with the language were a striking contrast to last time.  We ate, we socialized, we met new people.  The kids ran around and played, made new friends and ate too much cake.  We stayed for hours and visited with our friends and neighbors.  Last time, I remember gritting my teeth and smiling anyway and getting through it.  This time I chatted and smiled and left because it was getting late, but I had a few more people I wish I’d gotten to talk to.  It was exactly what a neighborhood party should be, and we were definitely a part of it.  It felt so normal . . . that it actually felt strange.  We’re so unaccustomed to not fitting in and being on the outside that being included was odd (but so very nice).

We feel pretty well accepted here.  We’re still “the Americans”, but we’re no longer “the new people”.  We still don’t speak a lot of German, but we don’t have to begin every conversation by asking if the other people speak English.  We have friends here, we know our neighbors.  It is so nice, and normal, and comfortable.  It seems like a little thing, but it’s a milestone I wasn’t sure we’d ever reach.

Week one

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Liam was at school without me for 3 hours today.  He didn’t cry.  He wasn’t sad.  He ate breakfast, played with the other children (on the way home he made a point of telling me he played kindly with the other children, which is what it says in the book I made him about starting school), did circle time and played outside.  He did great.

While he was at school, Dan & I had our first a.m. kid-free coffee break since we’ve been here.  It was weird, but very pleasant — we each got to finish all of our sentences AND our coffees.  Then I hung out at the coffee shop down the street from the school, just in case Liam needed me.  He didn’t.  Monday I may actually plan to try to get some things done.

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B is doing great and becoming quite the “Vorschule Kind”.  Yesterday, he colored an apple and cut it out to help decorate the class for the apple unit they’re doing.  He also spelled his name with stamps (and then threw in some extra “n”s at the end to fill up the page).

Things are good.  The boys are happy.  This is awesome.  We’re all exhausted, but our weekend will be full of resting time, for all of us.  What a great first week!