One thing is certainly true about B’s new school — they keep us parents pretty busy! School started less than 2 weeks ago and so far we’ve had orientation (with the kids), the first day of school, a curriculum meeting, a PTA coffee and then, last night, a parent orientation meeting (which was more or less at “back to school night” . . . except that I think they’re doing another “back to school night” type of event later in the month, too).  I made a comment to another mom at the PTA coffee on Tuesday that they keep us parents very busy at the beginning of the year, and she responded that it’s actually going to be like this all year.  Whew.

But, I don’t mind.  I’m happy and excited to be involved, and to start to feel like I’m able understand a bit of what school is like for B.  (Much as I like the boys’ preschool, both the language barrier and the fact that they are the complete opposite when it comes to involving parents have made it hard to feel really connected to what goes on there each day.)

Last night was great.  We met in the classroom with B’s teacher and the parents of his classmates.  We got a chance to learn about their daily schedule, about the school’s and the teacher’s philosophies, and about how things have been going so far (very well, apparently).  We also got to meet and chat with some of the other parents — it’s very nice to start to get to know the parents of the kids B has started to make friends with.

Basically, we love it.  We love the school, and we love B’s teacher.  I love the way the kids are expected to be at different levels, and the way the teacher plans to work with each of them to improve their skills from their current point.  I love the way the day is structured, with focused learning mixed in with group work, circle time and play time.  I love his teacher’s positive approach to behavior and discipline.  And I love, love, LOVE the enthusiasm she has for teaching the kids — even just a few days into the year, she seems to be so genuinely fond of all the kids in the class.  I couldn’t have asked for a better place for B to start his “real” school career, and I couldn’t imagine an environment I’d be more comfortable with.  I feel like all of my concerns and worries about B being ready for 1st grade have pretty much been shown to be unfounded — not just because he’s doing so well already, but because the school and his class really are set up in such a beneficial manner.  I am just so happy.

And then there’s the other stuff we learned.  It turns out that not only is B the only American kid in his class (though two of the other kids have lived in the US for a while), but he’s the only native English speaker in his class.  The school has over 100 nationalities represented, and something like 70+ native languages (I’d struggle to even NAME 70 languages).  Watching a slide show the teacher had prepared before the meeting got started, I felt like every single picture looked like a Benetton ad, or at least like the obligatory picture all school brochures include to show how diverse the population is.  It wasn’t until a picture of B popped up in the slide show that we realized that ALL of the pictures we were looking at had been taken in B’s class during these first 10 days of school — that’s just what his class looks like.

I was also thrilled to find out that I’m able to come in and volunteer in B’s class.  I’m going to be coming in once a week to help out.  I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to be doing, but I’m so excited to get to help and participate.  In my imaginings of my kids’ school days, I’d always pictured myself helping out in the classroom, and I was disappointed when I wasn’t able to be more involved in their preschool.  So to get that chance now is just beyond exciting for me.

I’m completely won over.  This school seems like just the right place for him, and I am so excited for him to have this opportunity.  If I sound like I’m bragging, I don’t mean to be.  I’m just excited, and so very grateful to see how things are unfolding.  I feel like this is the best school we could have chosen for him, and I think he might have gotten the good fortune of ending up with the best teacher possible for him, too.

B’s first week and a half of school has gone amazingly well.  Liam’s first few days have gone without a hitch, as well.  Happy boys.  They like their schools, they like their teachers, they are (reasonably) enthusiastic about getting up and out the door each morning.  I don’t entirely trust it, and I keep waiting for the good feelings to fade (and it’s only the second week, so they still might), but so far, the boys have been happy about being back at school.  And I am happy to see them happy.  Life is good.

After dropping Liam off at preschool the other day, I was standing on the corner, waiting for the bus as I have done so many mornings over the past 3 years.  And I was thinking about this — wondering why I so expect things to be different, and why they are, instead, going so well.

And I think it comes down to this — we paid that price already.  All of those months, in the early days of preschool, when B struggled.  The days that he cried.  The days that I cried.  The days that I stood on the corner across the street from the school and spent long minutes convincing myself NOT to go back in and retrieve my kids.  The times that I almost, almost, ALMOST gave up on it ever getting better.

THIS is why we did all of that.  It might not be inevitable for all children, but for mine, and for me, going through that struggle probably was.  It was always going to be hard for us.  B is sensitive.  I’m sensitive and controlling.  Liam wants to be with us.  So, learning how to NOT let those tendencies get in the way of school was going to be hard.  And it was.  It was so hard, and I questioned and doubted it so many times.  I wondered if I was harming my kids, or if I was a terrible mom.  I wondered if preschool was worth all of that trouble, or if we’d end up regretting the deep emotional trauma I imagined was being inflicted on my kids.

I remember saying to myself, more than once, “If it’s like this again tomorrow, I won’t make him go back”, or, “If it gets any worse than this, I’ll keep him home”.  But it was always a little better the next day, or he came home with some story of what a great time he’d had.  There were best friends and lantern fests and St. Nikolaus visits.  And yes, there were also tears and tough days and an emergency room visit.

But if I could go back, I would tell myself, standing on that corner, “Just wait.  I know that this is hard, but it IS worth it.”  Because I believe that the price we paid, the struggle we endured, has made it possible for B to start first grade at a new school without missing a beat, and for Liam to start this school year, without having B there with him, without any sadness.  And when I see where we are now, I’m so glad we stuck with it.

Last week, B started first grade at his new school.  Yesterday, Liam had his first day of school for the year, too.  Liam is back at the same preschool (Kindergarten) this year, the same school that B also attended for 3 years.

Last week was a nice transition into the hectic new school year (more hectic than ever for us, because we’ve never had to take the kids to two different schools each morning).  Last week, B was in school, but Liam was home with me.  So, we were able to adjust to B’s new school’s schedule, get in the habit of bringing gym clothes on Monday, packing a snack for him every day and remembering his reading homework.  But, while we did that, Liam and I also got in one last week of trips to the playground and quiet mornings building train tracks.  It was really nice.  (I love having my boys at home.  One part of me really wishes they were home with me all the time.  I fantasize about home-schooling them, letting them wake up whenever they like, taking our lunch break when it’s relatively convenient, and staying in on rainy days.  But I know that my reasons for doing that would be mostly selfish.  I’d love having them with me every day, but I do really think that this is best for them.  I also realize that my fantasy about what home-schooling would be like is exactly just a fantasy and leaves out all of the actual SCHOOLING and such.)  This week, we’re off to the races, with two drop-offs and two pick-ups in different places and at different times each day.

But yesterday was Liam’s first day.  He was so excited and so proud.  He was really ready to go to school (and really, really ready to get his Scultüte that he’d been looking forward to since last week).  He was happy to pose for “1st day” pictures (and though he was as bouncy as B was last week, I kept my good spirits the whole time).  I was a little concerned, though, because though he was excited and enthusiastic, I wasn’t entirely sure that it had truly occurred to him that one thing would be really different about this year — this year, B wouldn’t be there with him.

The boys were in different classes at the preschool last year, but they still crossed paths a lot.  They often ran into each other at breakfast, or in the garden at recess time, and very occasionally even got to visit each other in their respective classes.  Now, it would just be Liam at his school, and I wasn’t sure he’d thought of that.

Regardless, he was excited, and it was time to head off to his first day.  When we got there, I was a little surprised to find that he has a new teacher this year.  This makes 3 teachers for Liam since he started last September, which is a lot.  His first teacher last year was FANTASTIC, but she left last spring for another job closer to her home.  For reasons I will probably never know (part of the downside to the kids being in an entirely German-speaking school is that I’m left completely out of the rumor mill), both of his teachers from last spring seem to no longer be with the school.  So, for Liam, it’s year 2 of preschool, with no Benjamin, and a new teacher.

He was undaunted.  He was very enthusiastic to put away his things in his same spot as last year, change his shoes, and get into class.  He was a little confused when he greeted his new teacher, but he wasn’t bothered by it — he quickly set about exploring his old classroom and discovering a few new car and truck toys that weren’t there last spring.  He was a happy guy.

I watched him for a bit, and he came back out briefly to show me a new construction truck that he found.  But he wasn’t worried about me or what I was up to, so I left pretty quickly.  According to both him and his teacher, he had a “great” first day.  He seems just as happy as can be, and I’m very glad to find out that I’m missing him much more than he’s missing me.

Yesterday was the last day of school for my boys this year.  For B, it was his last day at this school entirely, and his last day of preschool.  For Liam, it was the last day of his very first year of school.  A big day for both boys!  Actually, a big day for all of us.

Next year, B will move on to elementary school.  He goes right from half-day preschool/kindergarten to full day first grade.  That’s going to be a big change, but he’s excited about it (and, therefore, so am I).  Mostly, I think he is beyond excited that his school next year will be in English and that he’ll be able to express himself really well.  (He’s also looking forward to learning more math.)  Liam will get to come back to his same class and teachers and friends next year . . . which also means we don’t have to completely say goodbye to any of the teachers at the school.  (I already have plans to stop by B’s old class next fall to pick up some pictures.)

It’s been a busy week — lots to fit in before the end of the year.  B’s class celebrated his birthday with him on Tuesday.  I’m so grateful that he got to do that one more time before leaving this school.

And B commemorated the occasion of the end of preschool by losing his first baby tooth the night before his last day.  (Just in case there was any question about how grown up he really is getting to be.)

Now we’re on our summer “vacation”.  (I say “vacation” because summer means having both boys home, which is wonderful, but not exactly restful.)  It has been a long (but very good) preschool journey for B, a great first year for Liam, and a busy week for all of us.  Now it’s time to enjoy the summer!

It began like this.  And, in less than 2 weeks, it will end.  B’s time in preschool (Kindergarten) has taken him from crying, timid and not wanting to participate to happy, enthusiastic, and the best German speaker in our family.  We have had a wonderful experience with his school and teachers, and I will be very sorry to see his time there end.

This week, to celebrate the end of the school year (unofficially — since it’s a preschool, it’s open year-round) and the passage of the Vorschulekinder (preschoolers) on to elementary school, B’s class had a big party.  Each of the graduating kids got to stand up in front of the class and receive a Schultüte — which is a big paper cone full of fun and practical stuff.  In this case, the teachers made and decorated the cones themselves.  Inside, they included sweets and useful things for school next year — new markers, pencils, colored pencils, and a new pencil sharpener.  And then they all went out for ice cream (B had strawberry).

B was so proud of his Schultüte, and so proud of himself.  He carried it all the way home, and opened it in complete delight.  (Poor Liam had a little breakdown — it’s so hard to be the little brother, especially when the big brother gets something cool and you don’t.  B shared a little of his candy, but it still was tough.)

But perhaps the best part of the graduation celebration came in a little bunch of paper, loosely and precariously attached together.  In it, the teachers had compiled a scrapbook — of Benjamin’s time at school, of his writing practices and art projects.  There were drawings, painted handprints, and pictures from field trips.  Just regular preschool stuff, but all collected together.  They had been keeping some of these things from the very beginning of his time there.

I think teachers are generally amazing.  While I sometimes struggle to manage just my two, the teachers at my boys’ school (and all teachers, everywhere) manage 10 times that many, with a patience and authority I sincerely admire.  They have reinforced polite manners, practiced taking turns, taken them on adventures and kissed their boo-boos.  They’ve helped see us through potty training, introduced our whole family holidays and traditions we’ve never seen before, and taught B an entirely new language.  And they have done it all with a tremendous amount of love.  The book they put together for him was further evidence of that love.  It is an amazing gift.

B will go on next year to elementary school.  But I don’t think he could have been given a better start than he got at this school.  He has been fortunate to have had some wonderful teachers.  I feel lucky that Liam will still be at this school, so we don’t really have to say goodbye quite yet.

We didn’t expect to be here so long.  We thought that by now, we’d be home already, or at least headed home.  Consequently, all of our plans for “real” school for the kids started with “Well, we’ll be home by then …”

When we left the US, our plan was to be in Austria for 1-2 years.  We’ve now been here more than 3, and although we’re psychologically ready to move home, we don’t yet have the opportunity to do so.  Last year, when we were going through the process of deciding whether to stay for this third year, the boys’ educational experience factored heavily.  I liked the idea if B completing preschool (“Kindergarten”, here) with his friends, and I loved the idea of Liam getting to join him at that school for a year.  The fact that this year of preschool, for both boys, would be free to us only heightened its appeal.  Their opportunity for school this past year is a large part of why we’re here now.  It was too good to pass up, and I feel like it was definitely the right decision.  B has really flourished at school this year, found his confidence, become nearly fluent in German and begun to discover which bits of school most ignite his enthusiasm for learning.  Liam has had a fantastic first experience with school, getting to follow in B’s footsteps and hold his hand along the way.

It’s good that we stayed.  I’m glad we did.

But our plan has ALWAYS been to have B home before “real” school started.  This year of school here, called “Vorschule”, is like half-day US kindergarten.  I had hoped to enroll him in full-day kindergarten in the US next fall, giving him a year to adjust to full-day school and to recover from our relocation.  Besides, he’d get to start right along with his classmates and be one of the oldest in his class instead of one of the youngest (he has a mid-July birthday).  So even though he’s definitely bright enough to handle first grade, I was thinking that kindergarten in the US would be right for him next year, and I was hoping that it would be easy to set that up.

But we aren’t in the US.  And however much we miss everyone, we realized a few months ago that without having found work in the US for Dan, we might be staying here a bit longer.  And if we might find ourselves still here this coming August, we need to have a plan for school next year for B.  (Liam can stay right where he is, thankfully, because I think we got the kids into one of the best preschools in Vienna, entirely by good luck.)

When we realized we needed a plan for the fall, we also realized we were entirely behind.  Parents of some of B’s friends had turned in applications to private schools in Vienna as early as last September.  We’d been assuming that we didn’t need to, because we expected that we’d already be home … so we hadn’t done anything.  Not a thing.  We didn’t even know which school we wanted him to attend.

We’re fortunate to have several good options to choose from.  The automatic path would be for B to go from his Viennese preschool straight into first grade in a Viennese primary school.  The instruction would be entirely in German, and, following that path, he would have quickly become completely fluent and bilingual.  The state schools are free (or maybe very nearly so) but, attractive as all of that is, we opted against this, except as a fallback plan.  Our sole objection was a big one — *our* German is insufficient to keep us abreast of the goings on, even at the preschool.  As B advances in his education, I don’t want to be entirely shut out of the process.  Besides, if our eventual plan is to return to the US and enroll him in school there, I think he might get a stronger base for that by learning in English.  I worry a bit that the holes in his ability to understand or communicate in German might prevent him from learning as much as he could, or could lead to frustration as he moves forward.

That decision narrowed our options to the two major English-speaking international schools in Vienna (yep, two) — the Vienna International School and the American International School.

All of this was really weird to me.  First, I honestly never imagined that either of the kids would attend elementary school outside of the US.  It was part of our fundamental thinking from the very beginning of deciding to live abroad — that we were going with enough time to come back before elementary school.  It was part of the PLAN (and oh, how I love a plan)!  Secondly, I absolutely never envisioned my kids attending private school at all.  I was fortunate enough to grow up in an area with some of the best public schools in the US, and, before we moved, we were raising our kids in an area with an equally impressive public school system.  Private school was never really on my radar.  And then, we moved here, and the Vienna public preschool that we got our kids into is amazing.  I just never considered private school.  So I’ve been left to ponder, whether I am really prepared to send my child, who will be just barely 6 years old, to a private school that costs nearly as much per year as college?  (Fortunately for us, the IAEA reimburses most of the expense.)  It’s not at all something I ever imagined we’d be doing.  Yet here we are.

As I’ve said, we were way behind in the process, and initially Benjamin was wait-listed for next year.  A few weeks ago, though, we heard he’d gotten a place for next year for first grade.  And we are beyond thrilled about it.  I truly believe that it’s the right place for him if we’re in the “still in Vienna” situation.

Through the entire admissions process, it was simply assumed that he’d attend first grade next year, based on his age and the fact that we and his teachers raised no concerns that would preclude his placement in first grade.  After all, if he were going to Austrian school next year, he’d go to first grade, and other than his German (which isn’t an issue in an English-speaking school) he’s at a comparable academic, intellectual and emotional level to his peers.  So, first grade.

But, after the admissions hurdle was cleared, I started really thinking about that for the first time — was first grade really the right place for him next year?  Is he ready to go from a half-day Vorschule program to full day first grade?  The kids who are currently attending kindergarten at the international school (the kids who would be his classmates next year) are in full day kindergarten now, but he’s not.  He’ll be one of the youngest and smallest in his class, and, if he’s in first grade, then at whatever point in the next 12 months we get the chance to move back home (Dan’s contract expires next April, so it’ll happen sometime this year) he’ll have to transition from first grade at the international school to first grade in the US.  Wouldn’t that whole transition, which already means 2 new schools in 1 year, be a whole lot easier done in kindergarten than in first grade?  Add to that the fact that B’s best friend, who will also be attending the same school next year, will be in kindergarten next year (he has a November birthday, so his placement in kindergarten was as automatic as B’s was into first grade).  I think it really might be nice for him to make the switch with a friend or two.

These are the questions that I’ve been running around in my head for the past few weeks.

On the other hand . . . do I really want to be one of THOSE parents?  Do I really want to start hovering before my poor kid has even gotten hs foot in the door?  I mean, how typically American can I be?  Besides, he’s a bright kid, and he might be bored in kindergarten.  Maybe it’s time for him to be challenged a little more.  Am I really prepared to start meddling ALREADY?

Apparently I am.  We contacted the admissions counselor at the school and asked whether they would consider switching B’s placement for next year to kindergarten.  And I feel good about the decision.  I do think I’m being a bit meddling and overbearing.  But I also think it’s the right thing for him (I only wish I’d thought of it before we’d gone through the admissions process, because I get the impression it would have been a non-issue if I’d raised it at the beginning).

We don’t know their decision yet.  There’s a meeting of the admissions board next week, and they’re going to discuss it then.  I don’t know if this is a formality or not.  I have no sense of which way the decision is going to go.  But we’ve decided we’re going to fully and happily accept whatever they decide.  We wholeheartedly feel that this school IS the right place for him for next year (if we’re here), and we trust their judgement.  They do this all the time. This school, perhaps more than any other, is thoroughly experienced and well prepared to place a child in the right spot.  They are used to assimilating kids from all over the world and a wide variety of educational backgrounds, from the US and Japan, from Finland and Kenya.  They’re used to kids who speak different languages, who have only been home-schooled previously, kids with different learning challenges, and kids who have collected pieces of education in a variety of countries around the world.  We are going to trust their decision, and whatever they choose, we’ll go with it.