This morning was Liam’s first day back at school. I took him to school, and Dan took B, but we were able to ride most of the way together. Liam and I said goodbye to Dan and B on the train, rode the last bit of the way on the bus, and arrived at school on this rainy morning. I took him into his class, set up his things, met his new teacher, and said an uneventful goodbye. I got a text from Dan a few minutes later, saying that B’s school drop off had gone equally well.
And then Dan went to work, and I went home. I rode home alone on the U-Bahn, which was weird. I came home to an empty house, which was weird. It was just me and Bailey in the apartment, and it was so quiet that I put on the tv for some “company”. (I made the mistake of putting on “The West Wing”. Aaron Sorkin captivated me right out of most of my morning productivity.)
The house was so quiet, and I had some time to myself. But, though I often imagine that what I really want in life is some peaceful time to myself, as soon as I had it, all I could do was think about was how long it would be until the kids would come home.
It’s not a bad thing that the kids are in school. I’m glad they’re learning and playing and being exposed to different situations and different people. And I know that over the next few months I’ll have the chance to get a lot done, take some time for myself, have coffee with friends, and even take a shower with relative freedom (which I did today, and it was really nice). I know I’ll remember how to make the most of this time and how best to enjoy it.
But, right now, I mostly just miss them. I really love having my kids around. They are my most favorite people. I WANT them to go to school and learn new stuff and have great experiences. But, when they’re not here, I just wish they were.