My day with Benjamin

Posted on May 31, 2014 by admin

Last week, B had a whole-day field trip, but Liam came home mid-day (as usual) so we got to spend some time together, just the two of us. This week, it was Liam’s turn to have a full day of playing outside with his friends from school, and I got to spend the afternoon just with B.

As I did last week with Liam, when I picked B up I gave him the choice of anything he’d like for lunch. And, like his little brother, he skipped all of the things I expected him to say and instead asked me to make lunch (which was a surprise — my kids apparently do not have extravagant taste).

On the way home, we noticed the biggest dandelions I have ever seen in my life growing in the grass near the U-Bahn station. B picked them and made a wish (they were probably good for a whole bunch of wishes.) I guess some just grow that way in Austria, though I’ve never seen them like that before. (They have normal sized ones here too.)

So, we went home, and I made lunch. We ate together and spent our afternoon playing video games together and talking. I was worried that B would end up absorbed in tv or a video game all afternoon, and that we wouldn’t get much of a chance to spend “quality time” together. I had planned (as I had planned with Liam) to maybe try for a brief outing to a playground together, but (like his brother) he was too worn out from a fun and very active morning at school, so we decided to stay in. (A good choice, as it turned out, because it rained just as we would have been headed outside.) He DID end up wrapped up in video games for much of the afternoon, but the pleasant surprise was that he really wanted me to watch him play (which was fun) and he wanted my help with some of the things in the game, too. So, we did end up playing video games for much of our time together, but it was anything but antisocial. I was also happy to get to play with his stuffed Angry Birds with him (we were “on a boat”) and we spent a little time working on his birthday invitations. We had a great day. It was so nice to spend that time together.

We had a great time. My “little” guy is growing up so fast. He’s already changed so much. I can already feel how independent he’s getting, and how much more he can do (and wants to do) without my constant interaction. It’s so wonderful to get to spend some quiet moments together, just he & I, without having to split my attention or compromise on where my energy goes. I love my little guys, and getting to spend time with them is a real treat.

Ready to go home

Posted on May 26, 2014 by admin

I still love Austria and I’m still enjoying my time here. I still feel happy, and I love to be in Vienna. I’m looking forward very much to our summer vacation plans that we’re in the process of making and I’m super excited about the school we’ve chosen for B next year. I still think our life here is pretty amazing, and very cool, and good for all of us. But I’m ready to go home.

This isn’t the desperate, hiding under the covers feeling of homesickness. It doesn’t come from feeling overwhelmed or incapable of managing the challenge of being here. I don’t feel sad or lonely. Given infinite money and infinite opportunity to travel, I’m not sure I’d want to go home yet. I really do like it here, a lot.

The real issue is that, however much I love Austria, I miss my family and friends at home terribly. I want to be able to see them more often — not just for a few weeks on vacation, which is lovely but always too short and with too few chances to see and talk to everyone. I want a chance to be part of each other’s day-to-day lives again. I want to see my brother on his birthday. I want my mom to be able to come to the school plays. I want to have my sister over for dinner. I want to go camping with my kids in my dad’s backyard. I want to have a lunch date with a friend. I want to ride my horses again.

I miss my people from home. I love Austria very much, but not enough of the people I love are here.

My day with Liam

Posted on May 23, 2014 by admin

Towards the end of the school year, when most of the formal work has been completed, the weather outside is beautiful, and the kids can barely be contained with their enthusiasm to run and play, the kids’ school days become peppered with outings and parties. There are short jaunts out to the neighborhood playgrounds, trips out for ice cream, and big, full-day excursions around Vienna to celebrate the end of the year. The kids have a fantastic time and come home thoroughly exhausted from running, playing, hiking, picnicking, riding on trains and splashing in ponds. Yesterday was one of those “big” trips for Benjamin’s class. We had to drop him off early and he didn’t get picked up until 4:00 in the afternoon.

Liam, though, had a normal school day (albeit with a trip to the green Prater to run in the grass), so I picked him up at the usual time of noon. That left us with an entire afternoon, just the two of us, which I’d been looking forward to for a few weeks. (And then, next week, when Liam has a full-day field trip, B and I will get a whole afternoon together, too!)

At first he was worried about B, and he wanted us to wait around at the school until he got back. But he got used to the idea, and pretty excited. I gave him the choice of choosing anywhere and anything for lunch . . . and he decided to go to the grocery store and choose his own cereal and a set of stickers for himself and one for B.

We went home, had a cereal picnic on the living room floor while watching Team Umizoomi, and then he took a nap. I’d been planning to do something fun and out of the ordinary — like a pre-nap trip to the playground — but his earlier trip out with his class (he was affronted that the teachers put sunscreen on him, because that’s apparently only my job) pretty much wore him out.

It wasn’t until we were most of the way through our day that it occurred to me that this will be the pattern of most of our days, starting in the fall. B will be at school all day, I will pick Liam up mid-day, and we’ll spend the afternoon together. I hadn’t really thought about that part of things before — I think I’ve been so focused on Benjamin’s experience next year, because it will be new, and because it required a lot of action on our part to get it to happen, that I never really thought much about how things are going to change for the rest of us. I really enjoyed my quiet day with Liam. It is so much easier to talk to and connect with the kids when we’re one-on-one. Nobody has to take turns talking, compromise on TV shows, or play alone while I play with the other one. But, even so, I think we’re going to miss B in the afternoons an awful lot starting in the fall.

Work picnic

Posted on May 21, 2014 by admin

Yesterday, Dan’s work division hosted a picnic for the employees and their families. A lot of times, when his work has an event, we skip it, because these things aren’t always family-friendly, even when they intend to be. But a picnic sounded perfect! We decided to go, and we were all very much looking forward to it.

This is how I imagined this was going to go (before it happened): there would be food, drink, and socializing; there would be space for the kids to play, other kids for them to play with, and not too much worry about spills and messes; we would get a chance to visit with some friends, and I would get to meet some of Dan’s co-workers that I don’t yet know; good times would be had by all.

In reality, this is more of what it was actually like: there was food, drink, and socializing; there was plenty of space for the kids to play … but every bit of it was at least semi-hazardoous (we were alongside a river, at the bottom of a steep hill that the kids wanted to climb up and run down, at the top of the hill were two bike lanes and a low wall . . . which had a 20 foot drop down to a highway on the other side, and there was a large, low and very hot grill); there were several other kids of just the right age for the boys to play with; we did get a chance to visit with some friends (several that I hadn’t seen in qiute a while) and I met many of the people Dan tells me about every day, but there were also lots of people crowded around in a pretty small area, nowhere good to sit, and several people who made it very clear that they weren’t happy there were kids there at all; good times were generally had by all, and we all ended the evening happy but EXTREMELY worn out.

Also, I hadn’t realized it, but I’m around more Austrians than expats these days. I’m so used to assimilating now that I don’t really remember entirely how to be American. And I’m very out of practice at being American while NOT accidentally being rude to a non-American. (I think I’ve squarely entered that part of expat living where I’m not at all a local but it’s getting uncomfortable to put my old culture back on, too.) I’m also an introvert (maybe now more than ever) and I so often underestimate how much these types of social events — especially with many people I don’t know — will take out of me. (As an interesting note, every couple there was made up of pepole from two different countries. I guess that’s how you know you’re at a UN function!)

A rare picture including me!

Although it might sound like I’m complaining about the evening, I’m not. Ths is life with kids. We went, we supervised the kids intensely, tried to convince them to eat while sneaking quick bites of food between managing cups of juice and preventing Liam from literally diving into the brownies. It was fun, and social. We managed a few half-conversations with some old and and new friends between moments of running after the boys. Our kids had a FANTASTIC time playing with the other kids and were so happy to have made some new friends. We all had a really good time, in fact. But, the days of the relaxing, carefree social picnic are behind us, at least for now.

Summer vacation plans

Posted on May 20, 2014 by admin

I talk a lot about how great our experience has been with our preschool here in Vienna. I think we got exceptionally lucky when we signed B up for school that first year. We didn’t yet know where we’d be living, so we requested a place near Dan’s work (which has turned out to be far less convenient than we imagined it would be) but the 40 minute commute each way is completely worth the level of instruction and kindness the kids have received at their school. Vienna runs many preschools throughout the city, all free or at very low cost (if the kids eat meals at school, there is a charge), and all run on the Montessori model (more or less — we’ve heard that this varies greatly). It’s pretty much the Shangri-La of preschools around here. Putting our kids into preschools of this caliber most likely would not have been possible for us in the US — and certainly not without me going back to work. We’re incredibly grateful for the opportunity that we’ve had here in terms of the kids and school.

But then … we have some interesting situations pop up, that I don’t think we ever would have encountered back at home.

Late last month, the teachers sent home the annual summer vacation forms. The idea is for parents to fill them out to let the school know which weeks the kids will be at school or on vacation so that they can plan staffing for the summer months when many families are away. Makes sense, especially given that vacations here in the summer are almost always at least 2 weeks long, and often as much as 6-8 weeks. We know quite a few people who leave Vienna in late June and don’t come back until late August.

We’d been thinking that we would probably be home in the US (permanently) by summer vacation time this year, so we hadn’t given our summer plans a lot of thought (even though it’s becoming increasingly likely that we’ll be here for a while yet). Getting the vacation form was a bit of a wake up call that we needed to plan for a summer still spent in Austria. So, we sat down, came up with a rough idea, and returned our forms to the school. Our plan was to take a few weeks of vacation in July (to see some of Austria that we haven’t yet seen … and to see some of our favorite parts again), then to send the kids to school for a few weeks mid-summer (to give me some summer time without the kids to enjoy Vienna, to keep them from getting entirely out of the habit of going to school, and to give B a few more leisurely weeks of preschool before “real” school starts in the fall), and then take a few more weeks off mid-August (to take a break before getting back into the swing of things at school again). It was a little different than anything we’ve done before — because Liam was previously always home with me, we took previous summers as a chance to take a break from the 40-minute-each-way commute every weekday and kept both boys home together with me all summer. And although I’ve loved that, I was looking forward to being able to do it differently this year — our only chance to do it this way, because next summer, and all subsequent summers, B will have regular summer school holidays, so he’ll be home and we’ll probably keep Liam home as well.

Then, just yesterday, they told us no.

No, the boys can’t come in for a few weeks mid-summer — could we please keep them home all summer instead? We said that of course they could stay home, but because this was in German and Dan didn’t completely understand, we didn’t really understand why. As it turns out, they’re going to be very short-staffed for those weeks, so they’ve asked that all of the families that have at least one stay-at-home parent to keep their kids home. And though I don’t mind, I can’t help but find the whole situation a little funny … and I don’t think it’s something we’d be as likely to run into back in the States.

So, new plan for the summer: as of June 27, the boys will be home with me until B starts elementary school in late August. And I am truly and sincerely happy to have them. We’ll have a great time, just like we have our other summers here.

Stranger danger

Posted on May 15, 2014 by admin

Life in Vienna is very, very safe. Even though it is a major capital city, crime here is minimal. Bikes get stolen a lot. Homes get broken into when people are away on vacation. Pick-pocketing is not unheard of (but not as frequent as the legions of reverse-backpacking-wearing tourists seem to fear). And that’s pretty much it. Muggings, assaults and other violent crimes are very nearly unheard of. Children take public transportation alone, often as young as about 8 years old. Groups of young girls walk dark streets safely late at night. I’ve never been in a situation in Vienna where I feared for my safety.

Coming from the US, this was a complete culture shock for me. Even living in an affluent suburb of Washington, DC, I always made sure to park under a street light and check my surroundings before getting out of my car and walking the few yards to my front door. So I still have to remind myself to not be horrified when I see a little boy, barely older than Benjamin, get on an U-Bahn completely alone. I’m softening, living in Vienna, though. I don’t worry much about which neighborhood we venture into at night, and I could be pick-pocketed in a heartbeat if someone tried. (Visiting Rome and Paris were both very stressful for me because I’ve gotten out of the habit of being constantly vigilant, and we really had to be while we were there.)

But still. I’m a mom, and I want to protect my kids. And every so often you hear that someone tried to abduct a child or might have been trying to abduct a child or maybe was just talking to a child but you never know. The way journalism works here compounds my lack of clarity over things like this. Vienna has two free daily papers which I often find discarded on seats of the U-Bahn and which are just barely not tabloids and which do like to be as overly dramatic as possible (think “The Daily Mail”), an English language online newspaper that updates their headlines every few months (not joking), and other, more typical and respectable newspapers that I never see. So it’s hard to tell.

We’ve talked some to B, and a very little to Liam, about “stranger danger”. We felt like we had to have some kind of talk with them about it since they’ve been out in the city on field trips starting at 3 years old. It’s so hard to talk with them about it. Trying to instill the requisite caution without terrifying them or destroying all faith in humanity has been tricky, especially with B, who has always been sensitive. (Liam’s response is usually that he’ll scream at/bite/kick/punch them if they try to talk to him. And I believe him.)

So when I found out that B’s class was doing a unit this spring about “not going with strangers”, I was worried. I thought he might come out of it totally freaked out about life and people. But I also know that it’s important, and his teachers can give him something I can’t — good information about what to say and do In German. If someone approaches him, I want him to scream, run, fight, WHATEVER, and I don’t want him to freeze because he gets stuck trying to respond in German and doesnt know what to say.

So, they started. And I kept an eye out for signs of worry or trauma — sleepless nights, nightmares, general worry — and I was prepared to answer any questions he might have. But none came. He seemed fine. Not worried or anxious.

The weeks went on, and I still saw no worry or stress in him. I asked him about it, and he replied, very matter-of-factly, that they were learning to say “Stop!” if someone tried to get them to go anywhere, and that they shouldn’t go off with anyone, even if that person had a picture of a dog or said they knew their mom or dad (all good information). He seemed to really be learning, and to not be freaked out at all.

Yesterday, B’s class hosted a party for all of their families, and, as part of it, they put on a series of skits to show us what they have learned about strangers. We all went to watch. Again, I was a little anxious that it would be scary or traumatic (to the kids or the parents), but it wasn’t. The kids were very good at demonstrating what they’d learned, and so proud to show us all. B played the part of a kid whose playmate gets dragged away by a stranger — it was his job to go tell the “mom” what happened. The kids were very confident and full of smiles. I don’t know how the teachers did it, but they managed to make the whole thing very positive and empowering. I am truly impressed. (And, of course, I think B was amazing and impressive. I am so proud of him for how happily and confidently he exists at his school in a language he’s still just learning to speak! He did GREAT!)

And then, after the performances, we all gathered for cake that the kids had made themselves. We had a great and fun afternoon. I am so proud of my boy for learning so much and for being so grown up, and I am infinitely grateful to his teachers and the magic they manage to work with these kids.

Привет кошка

Posted on May 13, 2014 by admin

Until earlier today, I had a little footnote on my main page saying that I’d never gotten anything in exchange for blogging about it. This is a pretty common practice amongst bloggers — to receive something (for free, or for reduced cost) in exchange for reviewing a product or experience. I don’t have anything against the practice, I’d just never been asked to do something like that, and I wanted to be very clear that all of my opinions expressed here are entirely my own. Well, my opinions are still my own, but I had to delete that little disclaimer, because I was just recently asked to review a product in exchange for receiving it for free. Yesterday, we received a free copy of Dino Lingo’s language learning materials for kids. I’m pretty excited about it, and so are the boys. (I still promise to be entirely honest about our experience with it, even though we got it for free.)

We had a choice of languages and opted … for Russian. After discussing it with Kathryn from Dino Lingo, we decided to go with something we had no background in at all. (The program is meant for true beginners, so the boys have enough German, and probably enough Spanish, to be a bit too advanced to get a good sense for how well the program works for beginners.) I wanted to choose something that we didn’t already know but which we might get some use out of here or in our travels. Russian is the language the kids most wish they spoke a little of on the playground — we often meet Russian speaking children and can’t communicate with them at all. I thought maybe this way, we could learn a little and actually use it.

Anyway, I’ll write a real review of the product and our experience with it after we’ve had a chance to use it for more than a day. But I will say that the boys are already having a great time with it … and we’re all learning something. I think we’ve watched the first DVD through 5 or 6 times already, and the boys have having fun practicing their colors, numbers and animals (we’ve been pleasantly surprised to find out that there is a bit of overlap between German and Russian, and even between English and Russian — I feel like “giraffe” and “zebra” end up the same in almost every language). We went to bed last night all repeating one new phrase over and over again — “Привет кошка” (sounds like “Privet koshka”) — which basically means, “Hi, cat!” It’s not much, but it’s more Russian than I could speak this time yesterday (and it’s more than I knew how to say in German when I first moved here)!

What are THOSE?!?

Posted on May 12, 2014 by admin

Raising kids abroad is full of funny experiences. There are so many ways in which their world view and mine differ fundamentally, because they are growing up in a different time, country and culture than I did. And so many times, I don’t even realize how differently we see things until one of them points it out. Language is one of the places that this is the most obvious — just this morning on the way to school, Liam noticed that “someone dropped their ‘schnuller’ on the ground”. Yes, they had — a ‘schnuller’ is a pacifier. Although, back when he was using them, we called them pacifiers or binkies, but he doesn’t remember that. He knows the word from the kids at school who still have them, and it’s become his only word for it. When Benjamin asked what Liam had said, I responded with, “Someone dropped their pacifier” and Liam got very angry at me for telling Benjamin the wrong thing. He literally has no idea what “pacifier” means. That kind of thing happens every so often — I say something, and they respond with a blank stare while I rewind what I said in my head and realize that I just used an English word for something we usually say in German (like pacifier, fire department, grocery store or playground). We’re developing quite the odd little Germenglish patois around here.

But there are other funny ways that the cultural divide within my own house comes out. Just before Easter, I was preparing eggs to dye. Then we were interrupted by calamity, which is why I forgot to tell this particular story back then. But once everything calmed down and we got ready to color our eggs, the boys happily climbed up to the table, took one look at the cartons of eggs I had boiled for them, and looked at me in disgust and surprise.

“WHAT are THOSE?!?” asked Benjamin.

“They’re eggs.”

“But . . . why are they WHITE?”

Yep, although I was completely unaware of it, it seems that my kids have been 3+ years without seeing a white egg. This was the first year that we found white eggs available at the supermarket, special for coloring for Easter. (It’s the only time I’ve ever seen them, and they no longer have any — it really was just for Easter.) I was so excited to buy them, because I’d always wanted to find white eggs to dye for Easter, but (as Benjamin demonstrated) white eggs are not the norm here.

And thus, I discovered another way in which I am raising poor, confused American-Austrian children who didn’t know that eggs come in white.

Things you never thought you’d say 3

Posted on May 10, 2014 by admin

I haven’t done one of these in a while, so today, in honor of Mother’s Day, I present another installment of “Things I never thought I’d say.” Because motherhood is full of surprises and unexpected circumstances!

Every one of these things I’ve said, out loud, at some point over the past few months:

No children in the luggage rack. You can go in time out on the top of a mountain, too. Take your feet off the wall. Standard karate doesn’t actually have lasers. No missile launchers while snuggling. Keep your spaghetti to yourself. No grabbing your brother’s bum! We don’t point death rays at people. We’re not going to put pretzels into the radiator. No driving on the walls. Guys, faces off the television. Stop, stop, stop — you’re sitting on your pizza! Don’t axe the dog! No, ladybugs don’t usually drive. Stop chewing on the furniture. Bees don’t usually travel by bus. You can’t actually get into the popcorn bowl. Use the fork, Benjamin. Please get down from the table before removing your clothes. Not even Batman gets to jump on the couch! Stop chewing on your pants! Stop hitting your brother in the head with that quesadilla! It’s nap time — you can get up and fight about the train later. We don’t put things that we plan to eat between our toes. Anything that requires you to say “watch this” first is probably not something you should be doing when you’re sick. Stop chewing on your pants (said that one a second time in the past few months, so I’m including it again). Stop putting your underwear on your face.

Until next time . . .

Stadtwanderweg 1

Posted on May 7, 2014 by admin

I’d been out there before, several times. Enough that I no longer really remember the chronology. I know that the first time, I couldn’t quite get from where I started to the trail with the stroller, so I spent an hour or so trying to find a way around. And then when I finally figured it out, it was time to go back home again. I know I went out there at least once when Jo was with us. And I’m pretty sure I’ve been at least one other time, but that’s where my memory is less clear. I could have sworn I’d been out there at least once with Dan and both of the kids, but he says he’d never been before. I’m not sure. But I do know that each of the times I’ve been before I’ve basically walked back and forth over the same mile of the 7 mile loop. I’ve walked just far enough to arrive at the first of the vineyards, and then turned around. Each successive time, I’ve actually made it one vineyard further along the trail before I turned around, but I’ve never made it very far.

I love to walk and to hike. I love to explore and to see a place on foot. (On horseback is even better, but I haven’t had that chance for a few years now.) It’s truly something I enjoy. And Vienna understands me. The city has 11 signed and maintained hiking/walking trails throughout the most scenic parts of the city. Each is 6-10 miles long, none is completely stroller friendly, and since they are in scenic places, they also tend towards being quite isolated, so I’ve never gone far on one alone. So, though these are exactly the kind of thing I’d love to explore, we’ve only done little pieces of 3 of the trails.

This past Sunday was my turn to choose a family activity, so I decided to try for another piece of the Stadtwanderweg 1 (city hiking trail 1) — the one I’ve visited most often. I had no illusions that we’d complete the whole thing, as it’s about 7 miles long. The purpose wasn’t to complete the loop, but to go further than I had before. We put on our sunscreen and our sturdy shoes, packed a picnic and headed out.

It was a lovely walk, with (as I’d seen before) some lovely views of the vineyards of Grinzing. The kids were fascinated, at first, by every flower and bug, but after the first mile they became fixated on lunch instead (though it wasn’t yet 11). It turns out that the section of trail I had chosen was almost entirely uphill, unfortunately. We hiked a couple of miles before finding a suitable picnic spot, and the tentative plan was to turn around after that and head home. I had covered almost a mile of new trail, the kids were happy to have had a picnic, and we all still had a bit of energy left.

Looking up the bus routes on my phone, though, we realized that it would be a much shorter, though more uphill, walk to the bus to continue along the trail. And it also looked like there might be a restaurant up ahead, which might serve the ice cream Liam was really hoping for. So we continued. And though the walk got lovelier, and very shaded as we went truly into the woods (except for one section where there had been some logging), it also got steeper and rougher. Less than an hour later, hot and grouchy, we did eventually pop out of the woods. We found ourselves right at a bus stop (closer than the one on my map) AND at the foot of a driveway to a restaurant which served ice cream. So, after our 4.3 mile trek, and over 2 hours of walking, we headed home. It was a tough adventure, but a good one.

And now, for next time, we know exactly which bus stop to head for in order to pick up the trail for the next (almost entirely downhill) section. We may complete the first trail one day after all.

(As a note, though we did fine, I wouldn’t really recommend this part of the trail — clockwise around from Nußdorf to Sulzwiese — to families with small kids unless you have a very sturdy stroller or are prepared to carry the kids a lot. We carried our boys most of the way. It’s not an unpleasant walk at all, but it is long and truly almost entirely uphill.)

A Mommy Abroad

Our big adventure, as a family of three.

Category Archives: Adventure in Vienna