Mommy, can you fix my blankets?

Posted on October 19, 2011 by admin

I might still be up, or it might be the middle of the night, or almost the morning. But, I hear the cry of “Mommy! Mommy?!” and off I go. I stumble in the darkness, past (or over, or through) toys, bikes, train tracks and books. Benjamin needs me.

I usually get up with B in the night, and Dan gets up with Liam. We’ve found that if Liam sees me in the middle of the night, he decides it must be midnight snack time, while if Dan gets up with him, he goes back to sleep more easily. This works out pretty well for me, since most nights, Benjamin sleeps all night, and Liam is much more likely to wake up (although he’s been doing really well lately).

Usually, if he asks for me in the night, Benjamin wants me to fix his blankets. He sleeps with about 7 blankets and they have to be arranged a particular way. (They actually don’t — he sleeps just fine with them in any crazy kind of mess — but if he’s awake and AWARE that they aren’t the “right” way, he’ll want me to fix them.) He is so sweet. “Mommy, can you fix my blankets?” “Ok”, I say. As I’m adjusting them, sometimes he’ll talk to me, about the day, or about the next day, or about how he’s been asleep, or hasn’t been asleep. I answer him, but it usually falls on deaf ears — even though he’s fairly alert, and talking to me about things, he’s typically asleep again before I finish adjusting his bedding.

It’s just a little thing. There are nights where I grumble a bit on my way to or from his room (often after stepping on a Lego or something else with sharp corners) but the truth is, I love it. I love having an excuse to go in and give him a kiss and get him all tucked in for sleep again. I love my sweet children, and I am so glad for these precious moments with them.

Stuck in an elevator

Posted on October 18, 2011 by admin

I was having a grumpy day today. No particular reason — I’d been feeling lethargic all day, even though I have a long list of things to do, and that combination wasn’t putting me in a good mood. Then, this afternoon, Liam refused to take a nap, meaning I got to spend 2 hours trying to keep him quiet enough to let Benjamin nap — not an easy task, since he seems to want to turn every toy in the house into a percussion instrument of some kind, and he’s also in a major phase of not wanting to be restrained — kicking, flailing, throwing his head around, scratching. A charming way to spend a few hours on a day when I already was in an unpleasant mood.

Late this afternoon, I was feeling a little frazzled, and decided that getting out of the house and going for a walk would be just the thing to get my mind back in the right place — besides, Liam would be confined to the stroller, so it would, at least, be the first break I’d get from wrestling him today. It was a good idea, but the process of getting myself and both boys ready to go nearly sent me over the edge. I was literally growling at both of them by the time I got Liam strapped into the stroller and Benjamin’s shoes velcroed onto his feet.

But, at last, we were out the door, in the elevator, on our way out. As we descended, I breathed a sigh of relief in anticipation of my refreshing walk. And then, we stopped. The elevator stopped, which is great (beats the alternative) but then the doors didn’t open. Uh-oh. I pressed the ground floor button, I pressed the door open button. I pressed every button the elevator has . . . repeatedly. Nothing.

Much as this might seem to be a “straw that broke the camel’s back” moment, it really wasn’t. The second I was confronted with something ACTUALLY being wrong (as opposed to my general grumpiness, which wasn’t brought on by anything) everything got better. In the moment that I realized we were stuck, I became focused on taking care of my kids — I became a mom, instead of a grumpy, tired, put upon 35 year old.

Benjamin started out ok, but got progressively more anxious in the moments after figuring out that not all was well. (Liam seemed fine for the duration.) Benjamin offered several helpful suggestions (for example, “Just push the buttons, Mommy”) and when I explained that I’d already tried that and it wasn’t working, he started to get upset and cry.

I sent Dan a text to let him know what was going on, I set up my phone for Benjamin to play a game, and I waited. I waved at Liam, I smiled at Benjamin, I watched him play his game. Dan took care of getting the building caretaker on the phone and over to us (impressive, as this man speaks not a word of English) and he, in turn, took care of getting us out in pretty short order. (There was a slightly stressful moment where I guess he turned the power off, because it got VERY dark — I think he tried to warn us what he was doing, but I didn’t understand, so the complete darkness came as a surprise.)

We were in there for less than 10 minutes. Although it ostensibly seems like it should have been the most stressful part of my day, it was actually the best thing that could have happened to me. It completely got me out of my bad mood — reset my mind and got me thinking about what was really important. We went on a lovely walk, and even Benjamin (who is very sensitive to stress) had a pleasant evening with no ill effects (he even suggested we try the elevator on the way home, which surprised me).

Being stuck in an elevator with my two kids saved my day. I would never have asked to add that to my experiences of the day, but it turns out it was just what I needed. It’s funny how often that happens.

1 degree

Posted on October 17, 2011 by admin

It’s cold in Vienna, already. We’ve already hit the freezing mark (not officially yet — officially we’ve gotten down to 1, apparently, but there was ice on the sidewalk when we left for the zoo yesterday morning) and the warmest it’s gotten in the past several days is about 12 degrees (low 50s). This week is forecast to be more of the same, with lots of nights nearly hitting the freezing mark and several days of high temperatures in the single digits.

I absolutely love the onset of colder weather. I’d much prefer to have a slightly chilly October, rather than a warm one — I much rather be bundled up in scarves, hats and sweaters than to be wearing shorts while pumpkin picking. This is my kind of October.

I do have to admit, though, that as much as I like the chill in the air, the smell of woodsmoke and the sparkle of frost, it puts me more in mind of November or December than October. (I’ve already caught myself singing Christmas Carols with the kids a few times!) And, despite my careful research into relative temperatures, I’m a bit worried about what December, January and February have in store for us.

So far, though, our apartment is warm, I can find coffee and hot chestnuts on the street corners, and (most of) our sweaters and cold-weather clothing safely arrived from home. If I could just find someplace that sells hot cider, I’d be all set.

An adventurous weekend

Posted on October 16, 2011 by admin

The passing of our six month milestone here, along with the rapid onset of cooler temperatures and earlier sunsets have really kicked me into gear in terms of getting out and doing the things we want to do around Vienna. The days are short (and getting shorter), cold (and getting colder) and numbered, so we must get out and see what there is to see.

With Benjamin in school until noon every day, we don’t get home until around 1:00. Then it’s time for lunch, then a nap. By the time they’re up and about, it’s typically 3:30 at the earliest. Even this leaves us a few hours until Dan’s return home and the beginning of the dinner/evening/bedtime routine around here, so I’m going to be making a point to use those precious hours, as well. But, for longer excursions, it’s got to be the weekends, and we’re going to make the most of them.

This weekend, we definitely worked toward that end. Our Saturday morning was spent in our usual manner of going to the grocery store, vacuuming, folding laundry and doing other small chores around the house. But, after nap time on Saturday, we were done with chores and tasks. We set out to do some hiking/walking around (to me, the difference is whether or not the surface is paved, and we did a little of each) and to have dinner up on the side of the mountain overlooking Vienna. It was chilly when we left home (about 10 degrees Celsius) and it started getting dark (and colder) almost immediately after we started our walk. We had an excellent time. We saw some beautiful sights, explored (may have trespassed at) a gorgeous hotel overlooking the city, and had an amazing dinner by candlelight.

Today, we left, first thing, for the zoo. The plan had been to get out of the house as early as possible (we left around 9:30, which is pretty good) and to be back for nap time (around 1:00/1:30). In a shocking (for me) display of flexibility and enjoying the moment, we didn’t get home until after 4:30. Benjamin made a list, last night, of the animals he wanted to see. We saw them all (he liked the flamingos the best). We rode the train (twice). We walked from the back exit of the zoo to the Gloriette of Schonbrunn and looked down on Vienna (Liam walked a significant part of the way, holding Dan’s hand — he did NOT want to ride in the stroller or be carried). We had an impromptu lunch in the sun on a bench, the boys threw several fits (each) and we all came home worn out, a bit out of sorts and completely off of our normal schedule.

It was great. I wouldn’t change anything about it, and I’m already thinking about what we’ll do next weekend.

It’s not easy for me. I make a list of the chores and tasks to be done around the house every weekend, and it drives me a little crazy if they don’t get done. I have to let go of that if I want to make the most of our weekend in terms of exploring. This weekend, we left more than half of our to-do list undone (much of it not even begun). I’m also making a serious effort to live more in the moment — to enjoy what’s happening around me instead of thinking about what needs to happen next (and when) or obsessing about what’s still to be done at home. I don’t feel the need to cram every moment full of “experiences” (staying home and cuddling on the couch is an experience, too) but I do want to prioritize having fun over having a clean house, being together and enjoying ourselves over feeling accomplished at checking “something” off of our to do list.

We don’t have an infinite amount of time here. I want to make the most of the time we have. I don’t want to leave here with any regrets about things I wanted to see, or do, or experience with the boys. Realizing this about my time in Vienna makes me realize how true this is of life in general.

The vacuuming can wait. The flamingos can’t.

The pitter patter of little feet

Posted on October 15, 2011 by admin

It finally happened. Dan & I were lying in bed this morning (at 7:30!) and we heard it – little footfalls running through the apartment. Benjamin was on the loose, and neither one of us had yet gotten up. We switched his bed from a crib to a toddler bed last weekend, and it only took him a week to figure out he can actually get in and out without supervision.

Sigh. I was hoping for longer. (I’ve heard of people whose kids went MONTHS not realizing they were no longer confined.)

I have to admit, though, it was a pretty cute sound. I was worried that he’d be worried — that he’d come out to the living room, and not finding us, would freak out a little. But no, he apparently climbed up on the couch, got himself all comfy and then started saying, “Mommy!” relatively loudly (not loud enough to wake the neighbors or anything, but loud enough that I was worried he was going to wake Liam — who, miraculously, was ALSO still asleep). I got up and came out quickly, in case he was concerned about where I was, but he was fine, he just wanted me to turn on the TV and get him a bottle.

It is a little scary for me, though — a little bit MORE of letting go. If he gets up on his own, he could do any manner of dangerous things: turn the oven on, get scissors out of the drawer and run with them, drink laundry detergent (or any other kid-unsafe item in the house) or, the worst: he could actually leave the apartment. I’m a mom. I worry about these things. Of course, he has no reason to do any of those things, and has never shown any inclination to do any of those things, but in my imagination, he’s going to start as soon as he starts wandering out of his own bed in the morning (or the middle of the night). I have to convince myself to be watchful without being paranoid, and reasonable in the face of potential danger. It’s not easy.

Really, though, it was pretty cool to hear him up and running around on his own this morning. I’m pretty proud of him for that moment of independence, and for not being worried when he didn’t find us out here, awake. I guess the next thing to do is to teach him to work the TV on his own, and the sleeping possibilities will be limited only by my nerves and Liam’s wakefulness.

Deer crossing

Posted on October 14, 2011 by admin

One of the many things I love about living in Vienna is the food. One of the many things I love about the food is its seasonality. When we first arrived, it was Spargl (asparagus) season. You could hardly order food in a restaurant without somehow getting asparagus involved: it was on the pizza, in the soups, in the risotto, in the bread, on the side. It was everywhere. The same has been true for the other seasons we’ve gone through: strawberry, chanterelle, blueberry, apple. It’s great — for a few weeks, every restaurant incorporates whatever is in season, and then, just as you’re getting tired of having asparagus for every meal, the dishes change and you won’t be able to get them again until the next time that season comes around. I’m really enjoying it — not only is the food fantastic, fresh and flavorful, but it’s making me more aware of the season.

We’re in the best food season so far right now. It’s fall and harvest time, and several great things are in season at the same time: pumpkins, chestnuts and game. We went out to dinner tonight and shared a dinner that included venison, wild boar, glazed chestnuts and baked sweet potato (the first time I’ve even seen that particular vegetable on any menu here). This particular restaurant gets extra points for advertising their “wild game” specials by erecting actual “deer crossing” road signs on the sidewalk by the front door.

Our dinner was excellent. But, beyond that, I am quite enjoying the celebration of the autumn and the feel of the season. I love this time of year, and there is so much to appreciate about it. All I have to do is find a place that sells hot cider and I’ll be all set.

Discovering Vienna

Posted on October 13, 2011 by admin

As we explore Vienna, I often talk about “discovering” something — a restaurant, a shop, a favorite spot, or a new way to do something. Yet, my “discoveries” are a little like Columbus discovering America . . . there were aleady people LIVING in America when he “found” it. (Although, I think I’m going to start declaring locations around Europe, as I visit them, in the name of the Calle clan.)

My “discoveries” are the same — there are already plenty of people who take for granted the knowledge of all the things I’ve been learning and finding out. For all that this is novel and challenging for me, this “experience” I’m having is just life for people who live in Vienna. Of course, I’m aware of this (I don’t think everyone here is on an extended semi-vacation) but it’s easy to get wrapped up in my own perspective.

I’ve only been here six months, so I’m still learning new things all the time. I’m still finding cool new places, and I still get impressed with myself for navigating the U-bahn without a map or actually communicating successfully with a stranger. I’ve been having a difficult time, lately, at one particular bakery. It’s near Benjamin’s school, so it’s a convenient place to stop. It’s not in the central, touristy part of Vienna (where we live) so they speak faster, less clearly and are more likely to give up on me than to try more than twice to say something. I refuse to give up (the location, and the baked goods, are just too good) so I’ve been going in, almost daily, for weeks. Today, for the first time, I had a completely German transaction with the most persnickety employee there. After I had completed my transaction, I was so proud of myself. I smiled at the cashier, but she was already on to help the next person.

From my perspective, it was a successful transaction, with someone who wasn’t helping me out a whole lot, in German. (Woo hoo!) For her, it was a 25 second conversation. (Not a big deal.)

My successes and discoveries here are my own. There were already people living here.

Happy place

Posted on October 12, 2011 by admin

This evening, I went out for my usual “hour off” at Starbucks — just me, a book, and a cappucino with whipped cream. (Another thing I know I will miss when I go back to the States — they don’t sweeten their whipped cream here, which I think is AWESOME.)

As much as I deeply, truly love my children, having an hour where I don’t have to be “on” is great. It really isn’t so much about having a break from changing diapers or kissing boo boos, it’s more that I’m not “in charge”, I’m not responsible for anyone or anything for a little while. My brain can rest. I can put myself first for a few blissful minutes, without having to put anyone else second. It’s really nice.

This evening, walking back, it was chilly and raining . . . which I love. I decided, on my walk back in the rain, that this is my third favorite kind of weather (after 65 degrees and sunny, and then any kind of snow). I think I may actually be another species, because I don’t think very many human beings LOVE cold and wet weather. All the people I passed on the street were bundled up and under umbrellas, hurrying to their destinations, while I grinned and barely kept myself from skipping down the sidewalk.

Now, after dinner and baths and stories, the kids are sleeping. I’m sitting and listening to Miles Davis. Today was a very good day.

Breaking a sweat

Posted on October 11, 2011 by admin

I’ve recently started to make more of a point to get regular exercise. I’d love to lose the rest of the “baby weight” (from being pregnant with Liam, but also still from being pregnant with Benjamin) but even more just because I feel better when I move around — it’s good for my body and my brain. After years of being active regularly without having to think too much about it (riding, dancing) it’s amazing how crappy it can feel to basically stop moving except when you need to. (Even that’s an exaggeration — we don’t own a car, so I walk a lot, and I chase two kids around all the time, so that’s a lot of activity, but it just isn’t the same as moving for the purpose of moving.)

Not wanting to end up injuring myself right away, I’ve started slowly — I’m walking and doing a little bit of yoga. I felt better almost immediately, and now, after just a week, I’m really starting to notice a difference — I walk for time, not distance, and I go significantly further each time. So, that feels good. It just feels good to move.

I usually walk with Liam in the mornings (don’t worry — I don’t make Liam walk, he gets to ride in the stroller) when B is at school, but I don’t always make that work, so then I try to go in the afternoons. Today, I went in the afternoon with both Liam and Benjamin. Liam rode in the stroller and Benjamin rode his “pushing bike”. We had a blast. It was so fun to be outside, making my body move, and spending time with my kids — we all really, really enjoyed it (even Dan met up with us after he got home from work). It was a beautiful day, and I got a pretty good workout in — Benjamin can get going pretty fast on his bike!

I’ve often wondered how the Viennese manage to walk everywhere and still look perfect. They are beautifully done up (in general) and seem to maintain that throughout the day — even though use of public transportation, and walking, are so common. On all my walks over the past week or so, I’ve been noticing something — in part, at least, it’s because they walk pretty slowly. Even I, relatively out of shape (and with pretty short legs), manage to speed past even tall men walking to the train station. If they’re out just strolling around, they go even slower. I doubt they usually break a sweat. It’s a novel concept for me — maybe I’m an impatient person, but I almost always walk quickly. No wonder they manage to look the same at 6:00 in the evening as they do at 8:00 in the morning! It also helps to explain why they’re always so bundled up (I am easily the most lightly dressed person I encounter when I go out for my brisk walks).

That isn’t to say they don’t exercise — they definitely do. It’s a very active and relatively fit culture, as far as I can tell. But when they’re about their daily tasks, they seem to take their time . . . although they ALSO manage to be on time to everything (a paradox I have yet to figure out).

There’s a measured pace, coupled with an efficiency and promptness, that I find really nice in the people here. They manage to be on time without being rushed, fit without being obsessed. I still haven’t figured out how they do it, but I like it, and I hope I learn a little.

Being American

Posted on October 10, 2011 by admin

Living abroad, I thought I’d be a lot more embarrassed about being American (and more reluctant to admit it). It turns out that (to my face, anyway) I haven’t encountered a lot of anti-American sentiment. People are much more likely to react with interest, rather than derision, when they hear where I’m from. (So far, the only people I’ve met who make me embarrassed to admit that I’m American are other Americans who are behaving badly — but that is the exception, rather than the rule, as well.)

At home, we’re all from someplace else. As you are getting to know someone, it’s very common for them to identify themselves with another country/culture: Italian, Irish, French, Puerto Rican, Indian, Chinese, etc., etc., etc. Even people born in the US — even people whose parents and grandparents were born in the US — will identify themselves by their country/countries of heritage. People have a lot of pride about where their family is from. I’ve heard (and been involved in) arguments about how much of your family has to be from somewhere for it to “count”, and heard cultural/nationalistic stereotyping used both negatively and inclusively. It’s part of the “mixing pot” mentality, I suppose — since we’re all from somewhere else, we find and share our common bonds. There’s strength and tradition in identifying with our culture of origin, but it also creates divisions and can create discord and dislike.

At home, I’m Irish. (Well, mostly. More or less. More than anything else.) Dan is Colombian (that’s legit, though, as he was born there — but his family likes to point out that they’re really Spanish, by way of Colombia). Our kids are Colombian/Irish/???.

When we first arrived here, we’d find ourselves equivocating, the way people do at home, about where we’re “from”. Living in Austria, that just confuses people. If you say you’re Irish, they expect you to have an Irish passport, to have been born there . . . or at least to have BEEN there sometime in your life.

Here, we’re just American — no further explanation required. I find it ironic that I didn’t really identify myself that way until I left.

A Mommy Abroad

Our big adventure, as a family of three.

Category Archives: Adventure in Vienna