Thanksgiving

I never really appreciated Thanksgiving.  I’ve always been a bigger fan of Christmas and Halloween.  Thanksgiving has always been nice, but I don’t think I ever figured it out.

Thanksgiving, in my mind, has always mostly been the unofficial gateway to Christmas — the time to break out the Christmas sweaters and holiday music.  The time to start decorating and counting down the days until Christmas.  It’s the first day that it’s socially acceptable to wish someone a happy holiday, the first day Christmas lights would start popping up all around.  For that, I’ve always loved Thanksgiving.

Other than that, my favorite thing about Thanksgiving was spending the day with my family.  The bountiful feast is fun, but it was the company of my family I enjoyed most of all.  In a family whose members rarely worked typical business hours, a shared day off for all of us was a very rare thing, and that was what I always liked best — spending the day together.  No matter how crazy all of our schedules were, we would all have at least some part of Thanksgiving off from work, and we would get to be together.

This will be my third year not being home for Thanksgiving, and (like so many other things) being away from it for so long has finally helped me realize how important it is.  I miss the traditions — the cooking, the favorite dishes, the football game.  But mostly, I miss the together time.  I miss the time with my family.  I miss the shared decision to take a collective pause in our over busy lives to spend the day together.  To cook together, to pass down traditions, to visit, to share, just to be together.

That is what I hadn’t really figured out about it before.  I hadn’t spent a lot of time thinking about it, but, other than as is stated in the name (a day to reflect and be thankful for what we have), I hadn’t ever really figured out what the day is all supposed to be about.  But, now I know.  It isn’t about the meal.  I don’t think it’s even about being thankful for WHAT we have.  It is about being together — about being thankful for WHO we have.

Christmas shares that purpose, a little.  We take time to be together on Christmas, too.  But while Christmas is also about being together, our attention is divided — shopping, gifts, decorating AND cooking.  Thanksgiving, having less fanfare, lets us spend our energy appreciating our company, allows us to be grateful that we are together.  Whatever meal we share, however grand or simple, we share it together, with the people we love the most.

I miss it.  I miss planning the meal with my mom.  I miss Thanksgiving breakfast with my dad.  I miss sitting with my brothers while they watch football.  I miss “helping” with the cooking with my mom and sister (and always suspecting I was causing more trouble than anything).  I miss the conversations and the debates we’d all get into during or after the meal.  I miss it all.  I didn’t get it before.  I didn’t appreciate any of those things enough.  Spending the past 3 years without a Thanksgiving has, surprisingly, transformed into one of my favorite holidays.

First snow

It’s been chilly for a while here in Vienna.  Highs in the 40s, lows just above freezing.  Perfectly normal, of course, for this time of year in this part of the world.  Because we spend a fair bit of time outside (not having a car means that our daily routines involve a lot of walking and/or waiting for public transportation), it’s easy to lose perspective and feel like 42 with a good breeze is cold.

Vienna was happy to remind us today that THAT is not cold and that we’ve actually been very lucky this year (last year, we had snow before Halloween).  We woke up to 34, snow and real wind.  NOW it’s winter.  Now we remember what cold feels like!  Today (as the temperature fell through the morning — thank you, Vienna) we had the kind of wind that takes your breath away and can, when it gusts, literally move your feet sideways on their way to their intended destination or make forward progress literally impossible.  And that’s for me — the kids are lucky to not actually be blown over.

So it is now really, properly cold here (it’ll get worse, but the forecast for the week indicates that our days of coasting in the 40s are probably over for the season).  We only got a few festive flurries and a light dusting on the grass today, but I’m glad to have had a little snow today.  (If we’re going to be frozen, it might as well feel festive!)  With a strong, cold wind, a little snow, and dusk that falls around 3:30 in the afternoon, it truly feels like winter in Vienna again.  (And, it feels like it really is almost Christmas!)

Christmas shopping block

From a philosophical point of view, I do realize, and truly believe, that Christmas is about much more than gifts.  But, from a practical perspective, as the main Christmas-gift-shopper in the family, they do occupy a great deal of my time and mental energy in the months leading up to Christmas.  That’s just how it is.

Every year, I find the process of Christmas shopping somewhat overwhelming … especially getting started.  This year, it is even more so, because in addition to balancing the wish lists against the budget, thinking of the “right” things to get, and then actually making the purchases, I also want to keep in mind the limited space in our luggage for our return back to Austria after the holidays.

So I’ve been stuck.  I’ve had a list of ideas of things to look and shop for for at least a month, I’ve stopped in to toy stores, and added and deleted items from my Amazon cart at least a dozen times.  But I haven’t actually bought anything.  We leave for the US in less than a month.  The pressure of time has been starting to become as strong as the pressure to choose the “right” gifts.

Today, I stopped by our local toy store (again), not to shop for Christmas but to see if they had a particular toy that B wants to give a friend for his birthday this weekend.  While I was there, I saw something I’d been thinking of getting the boys for Christmas.  I hesitated and debated.  But then I remembered that this is Austria, and there is no back room stock of extra things.  Typically, they have what they have, and when they run out, it’s gone.  If I decide to think about it, and go back later, it may well be gone.  I went ahead and bought it.  I looked around a little longer and got some other ideas, too.

And, at last, I feel like I’m unstuck.  I feel so much better now.  Just buying a little thing for the boys seems to have broken my mental block.  I walked home, feeling enthusiastic and motivated about Christmas shopping, rather than feeling overwhelmed and stuck.  Now, instead of it feeling like a massive chore to shop for Christmas gifts, it feels like fun again.  I’m really glad, because I’ve got to get to work!

You know you’ve lived in Vienna for a while when . . . (part 3)

My first two posts on this were really fun.  Now for some more . . .

You know you’ve lived in Vienna for a while when . . .

. . . you fully expect to be able to order organic apple juice anywhere . . . including McDonald’s
. . . although you’ve never understood it, prune paste no longer surprises you as a pastry filling
. . . you will never eat a donut from anywhere else again
. . . the Christmas season has an official beginning (St. Martin’s Day) and it doesn’t bother you that it’s in mid-November
. . . Socialism is not a dirty word
. . . you fear the Krampus (even as an adult)
. . . you know what those Nordic walking poles are for.  (Kind of.)
. . . someone hands you free produce in a train station and you don’t find it odd
. . . you’ve forgotten what a “snow day” is
. . . “God’s greetings” is a normal way of saying hello
. . . you always stop to chat with the neighbors, but never smile at strangers
. . . you have a spring coat and a fall coat in addition to a winter coat
. . . you look for lost gloves and hats on fence posts, not on the ground
. . . you know it’s always ok to complain about the weather, no matter how nice it is

(More to come!)

It’s the most wonderful time of the year

Well, it’s here again!  It’s once again one of my most favorite times of year in Vienna.  The maroni stands are open, the Christmas lights are being hoisted over the streets and wound around trees, and … the Christmas markets are starting to open!

004The first few opened up this weekend: Am Hof, followed by the Prater, Stephansplatz (which is new this year) and Rathaus markets.  We stopped by the Am Hof market this past weekend for a quick look around (I’ve found that the kids do better on quick trips and that it’s best if I save the serious shopping to when I can go by myself).

I just love the atmosphere of the Christmas markets.  It’s always chilly (if not downright cold), but there are always so many people out having a snack or a drink, doing a little shopping, or just being social.  It’s so festive and wintry, and I love getting to do some Christmas shopping outdoors, at small shops, instead of at the mall.

007Unlike in past years, I don’t have a Christmas market plan or strategy this year.  We’ve seen most of them over the past few years, we know which ones we like the best, and I imagine we’ll focus on visiting the ones we enjoy the most.  Since I now have most mornings free, I can go to any of the markets for a quick visit or a long stroll, any day I like.  It all feels much more relaxed than it has in the past.

I am so looking forward to my visits to the Christmas markets again this year.  By this coming weekend, they should all be in full swing, and I’m excited to visit all of my favorites again … soon!

Richard II

004Last Wednesday evening, Dan and I had a date night:  we went to see a play that was being performed live in England.  Luckily, we only had to go two U-Bahn stops to see it.  The Royal Shakespeare Company’s production of Richard II was filmed and broadcast, live, into movie theaters all over the world, and luckily enough, one was in Vienna.

I could claim purely cultured and scholarly interest motivated our desire to see the play, but truthfully, I have a massive crush on the lead actor, and Dan has likewise been a fan since first seeing him play Doctor Who a few years ago.  But although we may mostly have been motivated by general geekiness, we truly loved the experience (and did feel a bit more cultured as a result of having seen it).

It was amazing to see a performance like that, by such amazing actors.  Shakespeare is always impressive (done properly) but it can be hard to always get the whole understanding by just reading it.  Seeing it performed, by talented actors, run by experienced and well versed people, made it so easy to understand and become absorbed by.  It was captivating and moving, and thoroughly enjoyable.  What a treat to get to experience that, all the way from England, while here in Vienna.

I can only imagine, then, what a treat it will be to see it live!  In January, I’ll be traveling to London to see the show in person, along with one of my very best friends (but without Dan and the kids).  It will be my first “girls’ weekend” in a very, VERY long time, and I’m looking forward to it so much.  It also feels very grown up and sophisticated to being flying to London for the weekend to meet a girlfriend.  (Who does that?!?  Apparently, I do!)  I’m really looking forward to it (and I’m sure it will be fun to see the play again, too)!

Ich gehe mit meiner Lanterne

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Liam getting set

Last night, we attended our third lantern fest at the kids’ school.  It is my favorite Austrian tradition, and it was extra special because this time, both boys participated.

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Benjamin takes his place (second from the camera)

It’s a wonderful evening.  All of the preschool kids at the school (about 60 of them), each holding a homemade lantern constructed of cardboard and waxed paper and containing an actual, lit candle, parade around the garden with their lanterns, singing, while the parents all take tons of pictures.  After a brief performance by the bigger children, explaining the celebration of St. Martin (Benjamin was a tree!), the parents take their children by the hand and we all go for a walk around the block in the dark, singing.  After our parade around the neighborhood, we all return to the school for Kipferl (like a croissant, but not flaky), warm drinks and a little socializing.  It’s fun, festive, and very sweet (if always a little cold to be outside for an hour).

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I love this tradition, and so do the kids.  For us, as Americans, it’s also a little astonishing — with the candles and paper lanterns, I’m certain something like this would never happen in the States.  (Some other parents we mentioned this to last night l042iterally did not believe us.  They thought we were exaggerating when we explained that it’s darn near impossible that a school in the US would allow 60 3-6 year olds to walk around in the dark carrying paper lanterns containing actual candles.  Their response was, “No way!  They’re just candles!”)

(Also, on further reflection, I’m pretty certain that this tradition is part of why Halloween hasn’t much caught on here.  The tradition of celebrating the Feast of St. Martin contains many of the same elements — lanterns, walking around the neighborhood in the dark — but without costumes or candy.)

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Benjamin, Liam and their best friends

The boys both did great.  They looked for Dan and I right away and were so happy to have us there.  Liam was composed and happy throughout, and B performed excellently as a tree during the short play relating the story of St. Martin.  I walked around the block with Liam, while Dan walked with B and his class.  All of the kids did great with their candle-filled lanterns.  (Although injury seems inevitable to my mind, this is our third year, and no one has ever gotten hurt by the lanterns, nor set their lantern on fire, nor poked anyone with the sticks they’re carried by.  Go figure.)

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I am so glad that my boys, and indeed our whole family, has gotten to participate in the tradition here.  I love it.  And now, officially, it’s time to start celebrating Christmas in Vienna.

We really WILL be home for Christmas this year

This year, for the first time since embarking on this adventure, we’ll be going home for Christmas.  It’ll also be our first trip home in 2013, and our first trip home in nearly a year and a half.  (Most of my family didn’t get to see Liam at all while he was 2 years old.)  It’s been way too long, and we’re all really looking forward to it.  I absolutely cannot wait.

Of course, the reality of it is a bit overwhelming.  In addition to all of my normal Christmas preparations (except maybe for getting a tree — I don’t think there’s any way to ensure it doesn’t spontaneously combust during the 2 weeks we’ll be gone) — decorations, gifts, wrapping — I also have to pack for a 2 week trip.  And, since we leave on the 20th, I have 5 fewer days to work with than usual.  Eek.

That’s ok though.  Whatever effort it takes us, it will be worth it.  It has been much too long since we’ve seen our family, and entirely too long since we’ve spent a Christmas together.  (I know that Liam doesn’t have any memories of Christmas anywhere other than Vienna, and I doubt that Benjamin does either.  And although Christmas in Vienna is pretty wonderful, being together with family is the most important part.)

Putting aside the stress I feel about the logistics, the mildly insecure worry I have about the gifts we’ve chosen for everyone (only in my head — we haven’t actually shopped yet), and the flashes I keep having of the scene in “Home Alone” where they run through Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris at Christmastime (we’re connecting through Paris on the way home and on the way back) I am completely beyond excited.  The boys, too, can’t wait — Liam asks, almost daily, if today is the day we’re going to Grandma’s for Christmas, and Benjamin has asked excitedly for many details about how Santa will know to deliver our gifts to Maryland instead of Vienna.

I already know the visit will feel too short.  (Just 2 weeks?!?  How can we possibly get all of the visiting, talking, playing and general merry-making that we’d like to into that time?)  But now that the visit is less than 6 weeks away, and Vienna is full of festive Christmas preparations (the Christmas markets open this weekend) it feels real.  And I am so excited.

An unexpected holiday

There are a lot of holidays in Austria, but since the UN celebrates a slightly odd combination of Christian, Muslim and Austrian holidays, we have a really hard time keeping track of the local ones.  Some mornings, we venture outdoors only to discover that Vienna is like a ghost town — shops closed, sidewalks nearly deserted, lots of open spaces on the trains and buses — even though it’s a weekday and a work day for Dan.

Having the boys in school hasn’t helped us learn the holidays much.  The school is open many (but not all) of the days when the shops are closed, and the school doesn’t provide any kind of an official calendar of the school year (even though we’ve asked).  We’ve learned to read the notices at the school very carefully.  But sometimes we still miss that a holiday — not just at the shops, but one from school — is coming up.

For example, even though this is our third November here, we didn’t realize that November 1 is one of those “big” holidays in Austria.  One of those days where the shops are closed, and so are the schools.  There were no signs, no notices, at the school.  I had this vague thought that November 1 is a big day in the church, and I noticed, last Thursday (October 31), that several shops had signs up saying that they would be closed on Friday.  It wasn’t until nearly 10:00 that night, after trick-or-treating that my brain connected the dots and it truly occurred to me that the school might be closed Friday.  We texted another parent, who (thankfully) responded very promptly, and it turned out that indeed the schools would be closed Friday.  No school.  A surprise holiday for the boys.

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As much as it’s great to have an unexpected day with the boys at home (almost like getting a snow day!), my brain doesn’t switch gears well for last-minute things like that.  And, while it was an unexpected day off for the kids, Dan still had to work, so instead of feeling like I had a surprise holiday, I felt more like I had a surprise 11 hour day of intense work ahead of me.

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But, I adjusted.  We spent the morning at the park and had a great day.  (Dan and I marvelled at the astonishing ability kids have to get up early on days off and sleep in when we have to be somewhere — even though they didn’t know they had the day off when they went to bed the night before, both boys were up before 6, when we’d been dragging them out of bed after 7 every other day last week!)

007We’ve been here 2 1/2 years, and this still happens to us, just like it did that first year.  Just when we’re starting to feel like we’ve kind of got this figured out, just when we’re starting to feel a little cool, this happens to remind us that we haven’t really and we’re not.

It’s ok, though.  That’s just how it is.  And Liam’s teacher, when I explained it to her, felt pretty bad about it and promised to write down the rest of the days when the school is closed.  So maybe … MAYBE … this unexpected holiday will have been the last.

A foreigner’s Halloween in Vienna

005More or less, we’ve found a place for ourselves here in Vienna.  We know our neighbors, we have friends, the boys attend a great school, we’re learning the customs and the language.  In the more than 2 1/2 years that we’ve been here, we’ve learned how to make ourselves comfortable here.  And while the internal sense of “otherness” never really goes away, I don’t walk around feeling constantly out of place (anymore).  We’re not locals, but we’re not tourists.  We live here, we’re not just visiting.

So it’s been a while since I felt really “foreign” here in Vienna.  But nothing will remind you of being from elsewhere more than celebrating a holiday that doesn’t really exist where you now live.

016That’s how Halloween felt for us this year — almost like we were having our own little celebration of it.  Halloween is catching on here, but slowly, and only with certain demographics — mostly older school children, teenagers and college students (who don’t need much excuse to celebrate anything).  There are a few painted pumpkins for sale at the grocery store, and a few gift and flower shops have a few black and orange items for sale, but mostly, Halloween is only vaguely thought of in Vienna.

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Undaunted, and wanting to bring my kids along in some of my favorite family traditions, we decorated, had costumes sent over by Grandma, and planned to trick-or-treat again.  Halloween morning, the boys chose their favorite Halloween shirts to wear to 027school, and when we arrived, we reminded the teachers that it was Halloween.  As the only Americans at the entire school, my kids were the only festive ones, which was a little weird.  I really wanted to enjoy Halloween to the fullest, though, so after I dropped the boys off at school, I stopped by our local toy store to ask them if they would fill up some Halloween balloons (bought on Amazon — no such thing in Vienna) with helium.  They were happy to help, and actually had a small but good selection of costumes and Halloween items.  I picked up a bag of fake spiderwebs (and spiders!) and a battery-operated flashing jack-o-lantern (since our actual jack-o-lanterns were already beginning to fall apart).  Surprisingly, for such a non-holiday here in Austria, they were having a bit of a 032run on Halloween items at the toy store, and my balloons caught a lot of interest.  The shop keeper insisted that I come back next year to do my Halloween shopping, instead of shopping on Amazon — “We will have lots of things next year!” she assured me.  So it looks like it may actually be catching on more and more.

We celebrated this year, again, by getting in our costumes (Liam, who had been practicing in his earlier in the week around the house, happily refused to wear his on the big night) and heading out to the “American area” of Vienna, out near the American school on the western edges of the city.  For the first time, we didn’t get lost getting out there, and even met a young woman on the bus who emigrated here 037from McLean, VA (just like us) the same year that we arrived.  Our trick-or-treat experience was almost identical to last year.  We visited about a dozen houses before the kids got worn out.  Some of the houses were spooky and festive, while some were so plain and quiet that we wouldn’t have known to stop by unless we’d seen other kids there before us.  Again, the average age of a trick-or-treater was very high, and we only saw a few little (elementary school aged) kids, and only one other as young as Liam.  Also, like last year, the older, Austrian kids did not do a good job of waiting and being patient with the little ones, and they again demonstrated a penchant for showering the neighborhood with shaving cream and silly string.  And, again, there was very little parental supervision of the older 040children (American and Austrian alike — not surprising, as kids over the age of 8 or 9 here typically travel all over the city on their own).  And that is all fine, just different.  We had a really nice time.  We visited friendly people who chatted with the boys about their costumes, and we spent the entire evening speaking entirely in English (which was a fun change for an outing).  We met one group of Americans that had set up a bonfire and a table of hot cider and soup for trick-or-treaters and their parents.  It was, definitely, a different experience than we would have had in the States, but a very fun and pleasant one.

046Truly, though, I miss home and my family on Halloween.  Decorating the house in preparation for my boys’ arrival at home made me wish they could be around my mom, and my sister, and my entire family on Halloween.  My family really does Halloween very enthusiastically.  I felt like I was channeling a bit of that with my spooky decorations (which the kids just loved).  I wish we could trick-or-treat with family, stopping by the houses of people we know and love, or hand out candy to other dressed up little ones.  I wish the boys’ school had a parade or a party.  I wish that most of the other kids trick-or-treating were little, like they are, and that everyone was in costume.  I wish they could see the fantastic, over-the-top way that someone always decorates their house.  I miss Halloween at home.

008I really was reminded of being “from somewhere else” on Halloween, but there were so many little things that were so nice.  Finding the cobwebs and spiders at the store, having the shop owner help me out by filling the balloons, the teachers at school making a point of wishing the boys “Happy Halloween!”, the jack-o-lanterns and spooky decorations at the houses we visited, the warm, inclusive feeling of being among other Americans (even if they were strangers, it didn’t feel like it) on this very American holiday.  And we were lucky to have great trick-or-treating weather on top of it all (no snow this year!).  Halloween is a day I miss home, most certainly, but we had a great, and festive, holiday here this year, as well.