London with Elaine!

Posted on November 7, 2015 by admin

I am woefully behind (as usual), but I have been putting bits and pieces of this post together since the end of April. Back sometime in the early spring, my friend Elaine mentioned wanting to go back to London sometime for a girls’ trip. It wasn’t a hint — she was just talking. She didn’t expect that I, a mom of 2 with a busy schedule, would be willing to drop everything and go away for a weekend. But I totally would. So, excitedly, we (she) started planning (she handled all of the arrangements, my part was mostly to coordinate my proposed absence with Dan). In the course of a single afternoon, mostly via Facebook message, we had coordinated, planned, and booked the tickets. We were going to London!!!

Prior to April of this year, I had been away from the kids overnight exactly once (not counting when I went to the hospital to have Liam, which does not count as being “away from the kids”). The first time I went away, I found it hard to be away from the kids, but I also really enjoyed myself, and I was game to try again.

Elaine truly handled all of the planning. She asked for my advice and input, but she arranged everything — all of the reservations, the flight, the hotel, all of the scheduling. That, alone, was like a vacation for me — I’d never before taken a vacation and had to think about so little!

As the day approached, I packed, I did tons of laundry, and I stressed. Would everything be ok without me? Would they all have enough clean socks? Would Dan be totally overwhelmed? Would I even enjoy myself in the face of all the worry over things at home? As usual, I spent my first few hours unable to relax. Between guilt over having left the kids, stress about catching the flight (this time, like almost always, unwarranted), and a constant feeling of having forgotten something important (where are the kids?!?!), I found it hard to initially embrace the whole “girls’ weekend” idea. Thankfully, for both Elaine & I, I was pretty well adjusted by the time we landed.

Our first evening was pretty much taken up by a Tube ride to our lovely hotel in Kensington and a mad dash to find something tasty to eat before everything closed. We found a yummy Indian place close to the hotel, had a quick dinner and called it a night. We had a full parade of shopping and dining planned for the weekend — exactly the kind of stuff I struggle to get to do while traveling with the family, so I was really looking forward to it. In addition, I was excited to keep up my good fitness habits by running while on vacation (something I generally skip, but I’m feeling a bit more dedicated these days, and not having to tend to anyone else’s needs first thing in the morning helped get me out the door). So, the next morning I rose early and ran over to Kensington Gardens in the rain (which felt extra impressive). I got a little lost, saw some swans, and felt very proud for having made a point of exercising.

239 Saturday’s plan was for shopping and eating, and we started with a ride on one of London’s ubiquitous red buses (top level, of course, for extra tourist points). We visited Whole Foods, stopped by some clothing shops, and even saw the T.A.R.D.I.S. at Earl’s Court! After that, we went and had a lovely (and very fancy) tea at The Connaught, where everything was delightful! We shopped at Selfridge’s, walked through Soho and Covent Garden, and shopped a little more! Then we finished our day with tasty cheeseburgers and milkshakes — both of which are surprisingly hard to find (made properly) in Vienna.

I started the next day with another run to Kensington Gardens (and since I didn’t get lost this time, I had more time to actually ENJOY the gardens). We then went and had fantastic Dim Sum (along with Chrysanthemum tea, which I had never had before), shopped at Hamley’s, and took another self-created impromptu bus tour of central London. We had time for a bit more 268 shopping, and finally some really yummy Eggs Benedict (which Elaine and I have bonded over) at a restaurant where the waiters aren’t allowed to take pictures (in case they might accidentally capture someone who would prefer their photo not be taken!). We also decided to sample a few macaroons, which were even better than they looked!

Our time was quickly winding down, so we hurried back to the hotel to collect our things and head to the airport. It was a wonderful, whirlwind weekend, and I’m amazed at how much we fit in. I was also so pleasantly surprised to find that Elaine is not only a dear friend, but also that we are remarkably compatible travel companions. We had a busy, full, grown up, girlfriend trip, and I came back refreshed, reenergized, and ready to get right back into things. I missed my boys, of course, but I also felt truly grateful to have had
some time to remember how it feels to be the part of ME that is separate from being a mom — the part who likes spicy Indian food, clothes shopping (including actually trying things on before I buy them) and having conversations that don’t involve being interrupted every 8 seconds. It was a definite success, and I’m so very glad we went.

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Another Easter

Posted on September 4, 2015 by admin

I love Easter time in Vienna. They really celebrate it here, and not just with chocolate bunnies and going to church — not that I’m opposed to either of those things, but both of them have limited appeal in my life these days. Easter is widely and truly celebrated in Vienna, and though its roots are religious, not all of the celebration is. It is similar to (though of a different scale) than the wonderful Viennese Christmas celebrations. In Vienna, there are Easter markets, several days off from work and school and a general feeling of festivity that flows through the city. In the same way that Christmas feels very much like a celebration of having made it through darkest part of the winter, Easter feels like a victory celebration — spring has returned, with brighter days and (slightly) more warmth.

Easter is also our unofficial anniversary in Vienna. We arrived just before Easter and visited an Easter market right after having found our apartment. The best Easter market in all of Vienna (in my opinion) is that same one we first happened upon, and it is right across the street from our house. So, as always, we visited that market several times in the weeks leading up to Easter.

I always enjoy wandering through all of the markets. I love seeing the intricate, painstakingly decorated eggs. I enjoy the food and the shopping, and I always make a point to visit the bunnies in their market stall. This year, the silver lining to the catastrophic mirror crash of last spring was that I actually got to shop for eggs — after our first few years, I had put myself on an “only one a year” plan, because we were collecting so many. But, after about half of our collection met its end under a very heavy broken mirror last year, we “needed” some new ones.

We also enjoyed some fun Easter activities. The boys painted eggs and played games at the markets, and we colored eggs at home (a process I’m finally getting the hang of here). The boys did sweet arts and crafts at school, too. I just love it. I love being out in the city as the days begin to get noticeably longer, and as the sun begins to be ever slightly warmer.

As is our tradition, the boys celebrated Easter morning with a hunt for eggs, and we followed that with a trip outdoors. For the first time, we actually visited an Easter market on Easter morning — I had no idea they were open on the big day! But, it turns out that they are (or at least the one close to us is), and it was a fun way to observe the morning. We visited the bunnies at the market again (closely scrutinized by the boys so they could attempt to discern which one was THE Easter Bunny), bought some flowers, and even stopped in to an ACTUAL church during Easter service — though just for a minute (which was actually really nice).

Then, in the afternoon, we were lucky enough to have been invited to join some friends and their family for Easter dinner, which was lovely. Holidays are incredibly hard when you’re far from home, and getting to be with friends, rather than just celebrating with ourselves, was a nice change. (Plus we got the added benefit of someone else preparing most of the meal — and it was someone who actually enjoyed doing it!)

All in all, we had another great Easter here in Vienna. We had a lovely lead up to the day, enjoying the markets and the springtime weather. And then, on Easter itself, we enjoyed the company of good friends, and the boys got to eat way more chocolate than they probably should have. In short, a good time, and a happy Easter, was had by all.

An introvert’s great night out with friends

Posted on August 26, 2015 by admin

I am an introvert. I like (most) people, and I love spending time with my friends, but, as an introvert, I typically find that spending time with people, no matter how much I like them, wears me out. If a social occasion goes on a long time, I can get twitchy, uncomfortable and grouchy, regardless of how much I like the people I’m with. So, when I find myself in a situation where I am hanging out with friends, and I am able to feel relaxed and happy throughout, it feels like magic to me.

It happens very rarely for me, but as I get older I do spend more time with people who are more likely to put me in this state. That being said, it’s in no way the fault or a failing of my company when it gets to be too much for me. It’s just how I am. I have a good friend here who is also an introvert. Though we’re both very fond of each other, if we see each other every few weeks to a month, it’s “a lot” to us. As a natural introvert, the frequency or duration of my social interaction with someone is not a reflection of how much I like them. If I make an effort to see you at all, it means you must be someone I REALLY like, because my natural state is at home by myself (immediate family counts as “by myself” — kind of).

I was lucky enough to spend a lovely evening with some friends this past spring. We went out for pizza at my favorite spot in Vienna. It wasn’t a “perfect” evening — the restaurant either lost or messed up our reservation, and we ended up having to switch tables partway through our meal (further evidence that “perfect” and “happy” do not actually share a causal relationship). We enjoyed a tasty meal, and then decided to walk a bit to get gelato (this is the moment where I usually decide I need to go home to recuperate). But I was still enjoying myself. And, as an extra bonus, because it was an unseasonably warm evening for March, it was our first outdoor gelato of the year. We sat, ate our gelato, chatted and enjoyed the evening. Eventually, it really was time to say goodnight, and even then, I was sorry the evening had to end. It was a great evening, and I feel so lucky to have had such a nice time out with my friends!

Opera!

Posted on August 25, 2015 by admin

I think the most iconic experience I could have here in Vienna is going to the opera. (One could argue that going to the ball or visiting a Christmas market might be pretty close, but I don’t think they rise to the level of the opera.) It’s the thing I’m asked most about by friends back home, and, until this past spring, I had to constantly inform people that I hadn’t yet been.

This was often met with some level of incredulity — we’ve been here 4 years, how can we NOT have been to the opera (especially when most people make it their first priority when they come here)?!? Well, it’s pretty simple. The opera isn’t the most kid-friendly proposition, and we’ve opted to use our rare babysitter times on other things (like going to the ball). Seriously, Dan and I probably go out on average twice a year without the kids — once for the ball, and once for our anniversary (though our first year, and this year, we didn’t go out for our anniversary at all, so maybe we don’t even quite average twice a year). We really should have made it happen when Jo was here with us a few years ago, but we didn’t. C’est la vie.

But I’ve finally been to the opera! (Dan still hasn’t, though.) This past March, a friend of mine had a birthday, and to celebrate, her husband bought her tickets for her and a friend to attend the opera. I got to be that friend.

I know next to nothing about opera. I like music, and I like theater, so it doesn’t seem like much of a stretch that I’d enjoy opera, but I’ve never really been exposed to it, so it remained a big question mark in my life experience. That said, there was no way I was going to miss out on a chance to experience it! And, we were lucky enough to go see La Traviata, which is one of the most famous operas of all. And, frankly, even if I didn’t enjoy the show, I figured it would be a worthwhile experience to get fancied up and enjoy an evening out with a friend, at least!

It was great fun to have a reason to get dressed up, and we were so excited. Just going inside the opera house and seeing the elaborate interior (the chandeliers!) was a treat. It’s a beautiful building. We had box seats, and just getting to find and explore the seating area was exciting, too. We felt very fancy.

We wandered around a bit, enjoyed a pre-show glass of champagne, and got ready for some opera.

It wasn’t quite what I expected, but it was wonderful. I expected something closer to musical theater, where there are songs and spoken words intermixed throughout, but that was not the case. With the exception of about a half dozen spoken words, the entire production was sung. There was a small screen in front of me that provided a translation, and though I referred to it often, I didn’t really need it to get the broad strokes of the story.

Everyone was amazing. My reaction was overwhelmingly, “Wow”. The orchestra was fantastic, the actors/singers were stunning — at one point, the lead actress was lying on the floor, “dying”, and singing operatically in her full voice! (How does THAT work????) I thoroughly enjoyed the entire experience.

I felt very fancy and grown up being at the opera. And also very international — the performance was in Italian, set in Paris, and I was sitting in Vienna watching it. It was a wonderful experience, and I’m so glad I got to do it. And I got to check something else off of my “must-do” Vienna experience list.

Once again, to the ball

Posted on August 19, 2015 by admin

This year was our fourth February here, and we got the chance to go to the IAEA ball for the third time (we missed last year because we had no one to watch the boys). And, of all of our visits, this one was our best so far. I think we’re finally figuring out how to make it work. (I think the secret is a combination of good preparation, being there with great friends, and having reasonable expectations — it’s easy to get carried away when you’re going to a BALL at the PALACE.)

First, our favorite babysitter (and neighbor) came over to watch the boys. She brought games and face paints, and I don’t think the kids were the slightest bit upset that we were going out. For simplicity’s sake, I wore the same dress as last time, so there were no surprises there. And so, amid fierce lions and dragons, we got ready to go and headed out to the ball.

Once there, we knew better what to expect this time, too. We met up with friends, chatted and relaxed, and danced a bit. Then we chatted and danced some more, and then explored the palace with some of our friends. We listened to a few different bands (at least one of which was great), and danced even more.

With good friends, lots of music, and a beautiful palace as a setting, it was a fantastic evening. (This time with no dress drama or any other complications!) All in all, it was another great night at the ball!

Monet in Vienna

Posted on August 18, 2015 by admin

I have very little aesthetic sense. I studied Aesthetics as a Philosophy major in college, and I was pretty much terrified the entire time. My professor once said that my aesthetic sense was only evolved as far as, “me likey; me no likey”. She was absolutely right. I enjoy art, but I don’t understand it. I can’t explain why I like one piece and dislike another one — I just do. I have no appreciation for technique or sophistication. And I can’t even begin to differentiate “good” art from “bad” art, nor can I have a reasonable conversation about whether or not that’s even a valid distinction to make. That being said, there are pieces of art that I enjoy, and artists whose work I admire. As all art is well beyond my own ability, I can appreciate all of it as an impressive demonstration of a skill I will never have.

Like many of the uncultured art appreciators of the world, my “favorite” artists are the best known. I like Monet, Van Gogh, Rembrandt and (some) Picasso. Living in Vienna, and visiting some amazing places that truly appreciate great art (like Rome and Paris), I’ve had the opportunity to see a lot of art that I enjoy, and a lot of art that is relatively famous. I’m grateful to have had that opportunity, and I’m trying to make a point of seeing more art when I get the chance. I don’t get the chance all that often. Between the boys’ school schedule, pickups, drop offs, errands, and everything else in life, I don’t often get to see a lot of art.

But, when the Belvedere hosted a Monet exhibit this past winter, I convinced a friend to join me and we went to see it.

I’ve always loved Monet. The colors are beautiful, and his art just makes a lot of sense to me (my theory is that because my vision is pretty poor, his art looks how everything looks to me). I know that his waterlilies are among his most famous paintings, but I’ve always been more enthusiastic about his London paintings (they were some of the first paintings I ever really loved). We were lucky enough to get to see two of them in person, which was really fantastic. The exhibit also showed some of his seascapes, and a bit of work by other artists who were inspired by Monet. I thoroughly enjoyed (most) of it.

I’m still ignorant when it comes to art, but I’m really glad we went to see the exhibit. (I feel very slightly less uncultured now.) We finished up our morning with a stroll around the frozen gardens of the Belvedere Palace. It was a great day, and an enriching experience, regardless of my lack of aesthetic.

The price of expat friendships

Posted on August 14, 2015 by admin

Expat friendships are kind of crazy. Maybe it’s because so many of us are so far from home, and completely removed from our usual social circles that we have an overwhelming need for good friendships. Maybe it’s because we’re outside of our own cultures and when we meet someone from our home country (or who at least shares a common mother tongue) we already have more in common than we do with 90% of the people we interact with every day. Maybe it’s because our lives here tend to be a whirlwind, and contain challenges that other people don’t understand, that talking with someone who nods knowingly when you vent about the glare of the lady in the grocery store checkout line makes you feel like you’ve found a soul mate. Maybe it’s all of those things.

I don’t entirely understand the WHY of it, but the evidence of it is without question. I’ve formed the fastest, and some of the closest, friendships of my life in the 4 years that I’ve been here. (The only experience that came even close in terms of the speed and depth of friendship formation was my early days at college, which, I guess, is actually a bit of a similar experience to being an expat.)

Even though I’ve experienced it, seen it happen, and heard others’ stories of going through the same thing, it’s still a bit strange to experience it. If you click with someone you meet as an expat, you’re likely to skip right past all of the niceties, keeping each other at a distance, getting to know each other slowly, observing standard social practices. You’re much more likely to share embarrassing anecdotes, offer to do something incredibly generous or invasive, and to go out of your way to see each other a ton of times in the early days of knowing each other. I have made several very good friends since I’ve been in Vienna, and it’s always felt like an accelerated process. These are people I feel like I could call on no matter what I needed, people I would go vastly out of my way for, people that I miss if it’s been too long since I’ve seen them, people I would share holidays, or hospital visits, or heartbreaks with. They are people I’ve shared my fears, insecurities and least attractive qualities with. In short, some of them are among my very best friends, and I think we’re essential to each other’s survival here.

This past January, I made a new good friend, and, as it had been in the past, I knew in the first day that we were going to be close. (Except, because I’ve done this before, and I’m starting to get over the weirdness of it, I just considered her to be one of my good friends after the very first time we’d hung out.) We’d corresponded via email for a few months before her arrival, but I didn’t know we were going to be friends until we met in person. We’ve had great fun getting to know each other, and now it seems strange to me that I’ve known her and her family for less than a year . . . actually, for just over half a year.

The timing of her arrival was also incredibly beneficial to me. I’d just gotten back from my trip to the States, and I had a “home hangover” worse than I’d ever had before. Basically, I was unenthused about being back in Vienna. I was tired of the grouchy people. I was fed up with speaking German. I wanted to be home with my family. I was done with it being dark by mid-afternoon. I was in a funk.

One of the many great things about friends is that they bring you out of yourself and can help to change your perspective. And so it was with my new friend. In getting to know her, sharing my Vienna stories and showing her around the city, I was able to see Vienna through fresh eyes, and it really helped me to remember so many of the things I genuinely love about living here. Also, in hearing her stories about the initial challenges and frustrations of relocating, I was able to see how very far I really have come, and it snapped me back into having a little appreciation for how good I really do have it. In short, while she may have felt I was helping her get acclimated to Vienna, really she was helping me find my joy about being here again.

There’s a downside to these intense, close, expat friendships, though, and it’s a big one. The very things that cause us to cling together with these people, also rip us apart. The expat life is volatile and turbulent. People don’t stay in one place for very long, and I recently found out that another of my closest friends here in Vienna will be leaving soon. Though I am supportive, and happy for her (because it’s a move she really wants) I am also heartbroken for myself. My close friends are so woven into the fabric of my experience here that removing one of them is a massive blow. I am really, truly happy for her, as I would be for any friend who was making a change that she was wonderfully excited about, but I feel more devastated and selfish about the whole thing than I think I ever would have if I had never left home.

But, if the pain of the loss is the cost of the friendships I have gained here, it is one I will gladly pay. Though we may eventually be separated and spread around the world (that’s not hyperbole, but quite likely) I also know that the friendships I have made here are not flimsy enough to be damaged by time or distance. My friends here have entered my inner circle, and like my close friends back home, we will continue to love and support each other, regardless of circumstance.

Posted on April 29, 2015 by admin

I’m horribly behind on blogging (I’m still writing about November!) but luckily my friend, Elaine, isn’t! She wrote up our recent trip to London. Good times.

Kürbisfest for the fourth time

Posted on February 4, 2015 by admin

It is our longest running tradition here in Vienna, and we look forward to it every year. The annual pumpkin festival is one of the few nearly Halloween-like celebrations here, and it reminds me so much of the decades of pumpkin picking and carving I’ve done back in the US.

Over the years, we’ve gotten better at the whole thing. The first few times, it took us hours longer to get ready and get ourselves there than it should have, and we always ended up out there either very much over or under dressed. But now, we’re getting it. We know how to get there, we come prepared with warm clothes and big bags with which to carry home our pumpkins. We made it out there in the foggy morning (with the help of B, who acted as our navigator since he was learning about maps at school). We had faces painted, enjoyed our favorite Lángos and pumpkin soup, chose and carved our pumpkins, and played on the recently renovated playground (still daring, even by Austrian standards). And this year, we brought friends.

Elaine and Phil had been here nearly two years at the time (more than 2 years now), but this was their first pumpkin festival. They were amazingly good sports in enduring the speed (or lack thereof) and attention spans (or lack thereof) of the kids while we shopped, enjoyed and explored. We introduced them to Lángos, shopped together for pumpkin seed pesto and chose pumpkins. Then we all sat down to carve them together — it was Elaine’s first time! We finished out the day with some playground time (for us) and a warm drink around the fire (for Phil and Elaine). It was a great day.

The Kürbisfest remains one of my favorite annual Vienna traditions. It reminds me of home, yet is also distinctly Austrian. It celebrates autumn and helps us prepare for Halloween. It is a wonderful day spent in the countryside with a marvelous view of Vienna. And, getting to introduce friends to our much-loved tradition made it even more special this year.

Lipizzaner tour — Vienna

Posted on June 18, 2014 by admin

There are only a handful of things left on my wish list of Vienna experiences for which I would kick myself if I didn’t do them while living in Vienna. But, until last weekend, one of the biggest ones was still on that list. Before I moved to Vienna, I saw a performance of the world famous Lippizaner stallions once when they toured in the US, and I saw a performance at the Spanish Riding School here in Vienna when I came to visit in 2010. I’ve walked past to see them being cared for in their stables and visited the mothers and foals during their summer turnouts at the Burggarten. But, as a lifelong horse lover and equestrian, I really wouldn’t have wanted to miss the “behind the scenes” stable tour.

My friend, Elaine, was kind enough to join me — these things are always more fun with a friend, and though the kids are technically old enough for the tour (no children under 3), I didn’t think they’d enjoy it, so we left Dan with the kids and had a grown up afternoon (which is an exciting enough prospect for me, with or without major equine celebrities).

We started with a stop for soup, cake and coffee at the iconic Cafe Central, which was truly lovely. (Seriously, the Viennese know how to make a piece of cake.)

But after that, we were on to the tour! (In English — there is also a German-language tour.) There was some kind of construction going on, so apparently our tour didn’t follow the typical route, but that was ok with me, because we got to start with the very best part — the horses themselves. We weren’t allowed to take pictures in the stables, which was a shame, because the horses are all so beautiful. We couldn’t pet them, either (for safety reasons) but we were right in the aisle of the barn, peering into the stalls. Our tour guide gave us lots of information — I was the obnoxious person who knew all the answers to the questions that the tour guide asked. But although I knew the significance of having a bay horse in the barn (for good luck) and why each horse has two names (each horse’s name follows the same convention — they’re named after their father and their mother), I did actually learn a lot, even while being distracted by visiting with the beautiful horses. I learned that the horses work for 2 months and then get 2 months off . . . plus vacations. I learned that each horse has only one rider and that each horse only knows one of the advanced moves for which the Spanish Riding School is famous. I now know that although the vast majority of the horses are “white” (actually light gray, and they’re all born dark — that part I already knew), they used to come in many different colors until one of the Austrian emperor decided he preferred the white and bred them for that trait. Now only about 1% of Lippizaners stay bay as they grow.

After ogling the horses for a while, we moved on to the tack room, which was not quite as thrilling as hanging out with the horses, but equally fascinating. We saw the racks of practice and performance saddles and bridles, and learned that you can predict whether a horse will do one of the “airs above the ground” in a performance based on the color of the saddle pad he wears. We learned that the performance saddles are individually made for each horse in Switzerland out of buck leather, and that they’re very expensive. And we saw an enormously fat cat.

We finished our tour with a stroll through the courtyard and past the world’s largest automatic horse walker on our way into the Winter Riding School with its fantastically elegant chandeliers. There, we learned more about the process of becoming a rider for the Spanish Riding School — including that strong riding skills are not a prerequisite and that they accept only about one rider per year (fewer than .3% of the applicants) even into training — and the first two years of that consist mostly of cleaning tack and horse stalls.

It was great, and absolutely worth the €16 for the tour. I did get the impression that our guide was a little out of sorts due to the change in routine caused by the construction, but I wasn’t able to get an answer when I asked what was different about the tour we got. Regardless, I am so glad to have been able to go, and really grateful for Elaine’s company (and her patience with my constantly whispered commentary). I had such a good time that I may just have to go back again to see the “regular” tour!

A Mommy Abroad

Our big adventure, as a family of three.

Tag Archives: friends