Category Archives: Kids and Parenting

Kindergarten and Potassium iodide

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We went to see a potential kindergartern for Benjamin today, with mixed emotions.  I’m very excited for him — I know he will enjoy making friends, playing games, making arts and crafts and everything else he’ll get to experience by going to school.  But I’ve never been away from him like this.  We spend our days together.  With very few exceptions, I have been there to guide his explorations, to kiss all his boo boos and to supervise and witness all of his adventures.  It’s going to be very hard for me to have him go to school, even for just 4 hours a day.

That said, we love the kindergarten.  It’s close to Dan’s work, so they’ll ride the train together every day.  The teachers are so nice, and they all speak at least a little English (although not as much, or as well, as I’d like — I fear there is potential for Benjamin, who is an amazing communicator, to be frustrated . . . but they were trying so hard).  The place is lovely and clean, with lots of toys and a beautiful playground outside.  The kids all seemed happy, relaxed and confident.  We were there during snack time, and it was great to see the kids sitting around the little tables, in their little chairs, helping themselves to fresh fruit.  Benjamin really liked it — he cried when it was time for us to leave (although I think the toys were a big part of that).  If it really is time for him to start school (and I think it is — or will be, in September) then I think it’s a really nice place for him to be.

As part of our interview/orientation today, we had a lot of forms to fill out, papers to sign and information (principally in German) to take home and read (i.e., translate).  It was pretty standard:  immunization records, personal information, who’s allowed to pick him up, emergency contacts . . . and a permission form for the administration of Potassium iodide tablets in the event of nuclear emergency.  Yep.

Apparently, this is a standard thing here.  According to the kindergarten administrator, most people here keep the tablets on hand at home, but they’re happy to provide them for Benjamin in the event of a nuclear event while he’s at school.  Which, I guess, is comforting.  Kind of.

There aren’t any functioning nuclear reactors in Austria.  But in a country that is roughly the size of South Carolina, this, alone, is not sufficiently informative.  There are nuclear power plants surrounding Austria on every side, and many of the reactors are close to the border.  But, although the closest one to where I’m living right now is no closer than the closest one to where I was living at home, the thought of stocking up on Potassium iodide tablets had never crossed my mind.  (It’s certainly on my mind now.)

Shocking as it was to read (and sign) a form permitting Benjamin’s teachers to do their best to protect him in the event of nuclear devastation, I think I’m more concerned with the fact that the kindergarten teachers’ English isn’t as good as I’d like.  I think that’s the better place to spend my worry.  And, I’m glad they’re planning ahead and looking out for him — but I’m a little freaked out.

It’s playing time

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Benjamin is quite fond of saying, when it is time to do something he’d rather not do, “It’s not bath (or dinner/nap/bed) time, it’s playing time!”  Today, I got to play with him.  Of course, I’ve played with him recently.  But, for the past 4 months or so (has it only been 4 months!) our whole lives have been preparing to move, packing to move, moving, surviving here, and then moving in.  Our play times have been short, often interrupted, and I have been guilty of nearly always allowing my thoughts to stray to my weighty “to do” list.

My play time with Liam has been more consistent — with babies, when they require your attention (which is nearly any time they’re awake) there’s no way to avoid providing it.  Benjamin is at an age where, frankly, he’s easy to blow off.  He *will* play by himself.  He does a great job of entertaining himself, so I’ve been letting him.  (I’m not happy about that, but that doesn’t change it.)

Things are really, truly, starting to settle down.  I can tell, because Benjamin and I played for an hour and a half this afternoon with no interruptions.  (Liam was here, too, but he mostly watched from his exersaucer.)  We played legos, we played school bus, he played hockey with his golf club (sorry, Uncle Peter).  We read stories and played games on my iPhone.  I had forgotten what it was like to spend those long spans of time “just” playing.  It’s wonderful.  We’ve been so busy, and there has been so much to do, that too much of my “play” time has been spent multitasking.  There’s still plenty to do, but the urgency has passed.  Now, it’s playing time!

Same stuff, different continent

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Here I am, living in Europe.  I’ve packed up my family, my dog and everything I own and moved 1/4 of the way around the world.  I’m living in a country where I don’t speak the language.  Dan has a new job and we have a new apartment.  We are very, very far away from our families and our friends.

And yet, very little is actually different in my day.  I get up, I change diapers, I feed children, I kiss boo boos, I try to straighten the house a little, I try to make some progress on the endless list of things that must be done to make a household run, I put kids down for naps (with varying degrees of success), I give baths, I read stories, I get up in the middle of the night (most nights) to feed a hungry baby, I try to get a shower regularly, I try to eat healthily (and usually don’t).  Every so often, we have somewhere we need to go.  Sometimes, we just try to get out for some fresh air.  Many days (yesterday was one of them) we start trying to get out of the house around 9:00 in the morning and succeed around 5:00 in the evening.  It’s still a 24/7 job with no real breaks, requiring endless patience and a pervasive sense of humor (and some days I struggle to find either).  Those things are as true here as they were in Virginia.

Instead of packing everyone into the car to run errands, I’m making sure the stroller is packed up so we can walk or ride the train to our destination.  The scenery is different, to be sure, and some of the itinerary is a little more interesting:  instead of the grocery store or the mall, I’m likely to be going out to get lunch for us, or to go for a stroll by some Austrian landmark.  But, when I stop to think about it, things are very much the same.  My job travels well, and it doesn’t change much due to location.  All in all, life is pretty much the same here as it was at home.  It’s a life that I love, so that’s a great thing.

Splashing in Puddles

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This morning started off rainy (and cold).  While Dan & Liam napped together in the living room, Benjamin and I decided to take Bailey out for his morning walk.  I got B all suited up in his rain gear (which I haven’t been able to do for over a month) and we headed out into the rain.

Benjamin loves to jump in puddles.  I know that’s a kid thing, but I don’t know that I’ve ever seen someone with the endless enthusiasm he has for it.  He just doesn’t get tired of it.  I don’t think he would stop on his own until he fell down from exhaustion.  All along our path to Bailey’s walking spot, B splashed in puddles.  He doesn’t discriminate:  big or little, clean or dirty.  He splashes in them all, and all with great vigor.  He gets soaking wet.  He gets really dirty.  He doesn’t care.  (I am grateful that we now have our things, so we have plenty of clean pants for him to wear.)  He also doesn’t care what anyone thinks about what he’s doing (we sure did get some looks — this is apparently something Austrian grandmothers do not approve of).  He is completely “in the moment” and it’s a great thing to witness.  I feel so lucky to get to be a part of things like that.  We walked along with Bailey, and B jumped in puddles and asked me to help him put his hands in his pockets when he got chilly.  He is just the cutest thing.

Then, Dan & Liam joined us, and we headed to McDonald’s (I know, it’s a theme) to get coffee.  Dan & Liam went inside to order, while Benjamin and I stayed outside with Bailey (and the puddles).  After a few minutes, B decided he wanted to go in to join Dan, and not thinking about it overly much, I opened the door to let him in.  The floor was unbelievably slippery (Dan later said even the stroller had trouble) and B got a few steps away from me and fell flat on his face on the floor.  (My poor, sweet, little guy.)  I was still in the doorway, and when I went to go towards him to pick him up, I ended up with Bailey on the other side of the door and me still holding the leash.  Eek!  So, poor Benjamin is on the floor, crying, I’m stuck trying to extricate myself from Bailey and the door.  Two very nice guys who were standing there helped Benjamin up and helped him over towards me (which I am incredibly grateful for, but I don’t think I actually thanked them — I only had eyes for Benjamin).

Ugh.  Not one of my best mom moments.  We were having such a lovely morning, and then I do something short-sighted and poor B ends up getting hurt.  (He is fine — I don’t know how he managed it, but he ended up with only a little bruise.)  I had a really hard time not berating myself for it the rest of the day.  I think this is one of the hardest things about being a parent — I don’t mind suffering if I make a mistake, but it is torture to see one of my kids suffer for a mistake that I’ve made.  I hate it.

He’s ok.  To him, we still had a nice morning, and a great day.  I ended up the complete opposite of Benjamin and his puddles:  embarrassed, guilt-ridden and stressed out.  I’m trying to hold on to his perspective.  I *want* that to be my perspective.  But I also wish that the results of my imperfection could be visited only on myself.

In Front of the TV

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We got our internet and cable installed today, which is good on so many levels.  Now, I can actually access the internet (and write) other than through my phone and we can also watch TV all day.  There have been times in the past where I’ve been hard on myself for putting Benjamin in front of the TV for major parts of the day (I started doing it when I was pregnant with Liam and just too tired to keep up with him all day).  I’ve gotten past that:  I’ve been astounded, over the past year, by how much Benjamin has actually learned from TV (most of it is even good).  (I remember the first time Benjamin pointed out a triangle to me, and I thought, “Oh, it’s great that Dan’s been working on that with him”, and then I asked, and he hadn’t been.)  But beyond that, it’s now going to be a major tool in our introduction to German.

TV intended for little kids is designed to build vocabulary through demonstration and repetition — which is exactly what we need right now.  I’ve already learned something:  the German word for red is “rot” (which I knew) but when you describe something as red, you say “rote” (or at least, “Diego” did).  Benjamin and I worked on our German counting today, as well as the names for other colors (I learned the word for yellow), how to greet people and identify yourself.  A lot of those things I had already learned, but watching kids’ TV is a great way to hear it used clearly, and practicing with your two year old is pretty low-stress.  I found some strange things, as well, like the fact that “Go, Diego, Go”, which at home is designed to teach Spanish words to native English speakers is redubbed here to teach English to native German speakers (which is weird because it’s set in South America and all the names are still Spanish, and pronounced with a Latin American Spanish accent).  (Ni Hao Kai Lan is still intended to teach Chinese, but to German speakers.)  We watched Nick, Jr., all day — which is great, except that here they cycle through the same 6 or so shows all day long . . . literally, when they go through the cycle and come back to, say, Wonder Pets, it’s the same episode of Wonder Pets that they played earlier in the day.  (Again, I guess that’s good for the repetition.)

Of course, *getting* the cable and internet installed was a bit of a challenge.  Only one of the installation guys spoke any English at all, and that was minimal.  Just explaining to them that Liam was sleeping, and asking if they could help me by being quiet, was impossible (and ineffective) and locating the cable outlet in the wall (which involved communication as well as moving furniture) was nearly impossible.  Having them explain to me how to use the cable remote with the TV remote was pretty funny (that’s pretty funny in English anyway) and when I asked the guy what was in the contract I signed at the end, he just shrugged and looked helpless.  I guess I’d better get back to Team Umizoomi or Wonder Pets.  I need practice.

Out for a walk

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104I’ve really been wanting to take an evening walk around our new neighborhood, and this evening our schedule cooperated, so we went.  Benjamin wanted to bring his plastic riding car, but since that would be a hazard because of the proximity to the road (and would make for a very slow walk) we opted for his red wagon instead.

It is a huge, red, plastic wagon — it is very American and very un-Austrian.  Benjamin loves it.  It takes up a ton of room on the sidewalk.  We got some haughty glares and some shocked stares of wonder (the latter mostly from kids and parents).

106We walked all over, including to the Hofburg Palace (we saw the gardens, which have rosebushes that are as much as 8 feet high!) and to the Spanish Riding School, all with the red wagon, and never more than a mile from home.

What a lovely evening.  Our adventure has not been perfect, to be sure, but moments like these help remind me that things are really pretty great.

Mother’s Day

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018I love being a mom.  It is the single best decision I have ever made.  I am so thrilled, amazed and overjoyed with my boys — I am grateful every day for having them in my life.  I am humbled to be entrusted as the guardian of their kind hearts, open minds and sweet spirits.  I love them more than I knew was possible.

I love my Mom.  She is loving and generous and thoughtful.  She gave me magic in my childhood (and still does now).  She is fierce and determined when it comes to her family.  She is strong and resourceful beyond my understanding.  She is such a source of comfort and support for me and it brings me so much happiness to see the love she and my children have for each other.

034I love my step-mother.  I cannot imagine the challenge she took on in coming into our family (which at the time had four teenagers).  She is warm and funny and confident.

I miss my grandmother.  She was tough and mysterious and particular.  She told great stories.  She would have loved my kids.

I love and miss all of my family very much today.  I am really feeling the distance.

“Mommy, what is Easter?”

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As I find happens to me all the time lately, Benjamin asked me a question today that made me really think about something I hadn’t thought about in a long time.  So often, I’m explaining something to him, and he’ll respond with, “Mommy what is . . . ?”, or “Why?”  These are very normal questions from a 2 year old, but they can be remarkably tricky for a 34 year old to answer.  I want to be honest and concise, while keeping the concepts simple and refraining from anything that’s going to worry or scare him — and I have to come up with the answer in about 15 seconds.  (And there will probably be follow up questions.)

We’ve been talking a lot about Easter lately around here — what we’re going to do for Easter, how we’re gonig to miss everyone at Easter, how everything here is closed for Easter, how decorated everything is here for Easter.  So, naturally, Benjamin hit me today with, “Mommy, what is Easter?”

I said the other day in my blog that Easter isn’t a religious holiday for my family.  That’s true on the surface, but not really (I think my mom was a bit surprised by my characterization of it, and I shudder to think what my grandmother would have said if she had ever heard me say that).  It isn’t really a religious holiday for us — not in a typical, traditional, “going to church” kind of religious way.  I don’t “go to church” anymore, but I grew up in the Catholic church, and there’s no denying that my thoughts and feelings about Easter have deeply religious roots, which are unquestionably retained.  Easter is definitely still a spiritual day for me, and more than that, I miss my formal religion at Easter.  I love the spirituality of it, the depth of it, the ceremony of it.  I think my own ideas of spirituality get mixed in with my Catholic roots and some vaguely pagan ideas about celebrating spring, along with a strong desire to be with my family.  I understand the significance of the day to my Catholic heritage, and I want to honor that.  I also enjoy the enthusiastic celebration of the wonder of fertility and rejuvenation that is signified by spring.  And I like the idea of the Easter Bunny for my boys.

So, where does that leave me?  Well, tomorrow, we’re going to go to St. Stephen’s Square (Stephansplatz).  We won’t even try to get into the church (I’m sure it will be overflowing with people for whom it is much more important that they get inside the church than it is to me).  But, I do want to be there — in the heart of Vienna, in what was the center of the Holy Roman Empire for a long time — there’s significance to that to me (and I think my grandmother would be pleased).  We’re going to spend a significant part of the day outside, enjoying spring.  We’re also going to Skype my mom and my sister (and my brothers, if they’re there) while they’re celebrating Easter together.  And the Easter Bunny is going to visit our little apartment before the boys wake up tomorrow.  I think that pretty much captures it for me.

But, what’s the “2 year old” version of that?  I’m not ready for crucifixion and resurrection with him.  I also don’t want to emphasize the Easter Bunny — because that isn’t really what it’s about.  So, I said, “Easter is a very special day where we spend time with our family and we celebrate the ability to be forgiven, and springtime, bunnies and babies.”  (Ok, I could do better, but not bad for 15 seconds thinking time.)  His response:  “Babies?  Like Liam?  Is the Easter Bunny going to come, too?  Will he bring presents, like Santa?”  I guess it’s hard not to overplay a magical bunny who brings presents and chocolate.  I’ll keep working on it.

Easter shopping

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Part of preparing for our move involved separating everything in our house into one of four categories:  air shipment, sea shipment, storage and things to pack in suitcases.  The idea is for the air shipment to arrive 10 – 14 days after it’s shipped (to provide things you don’t immediately need in your suitcase, but to tide you over until most of your stuff arrives) because the sea shipment doesn’t arrive for 4-6 weeks after it’s shipped.  Since Easter is happening almost 3 weeks after we left, I made sure to pack everything we needed for Easter in the air shipment.  It’s not a religious holiday in our family, just a tradition, but I was careful to plan to have the things I’d need when we arrived.  I packed up cute Easter hand towels for the kitchen, and stuff to decorate eggs, but most importantly, Benjamin & Liam’s Easter baskets and the things that were to go inside of them.

Well, one of the wrinkles with the whole paperwork/red tape is that we can’t access our air shipment.  It’s here, in Austria — it has been for about 10 days.  But, without some of the paperwork, which we can’t get until Dan actually starts work, we can’t get to it.  This has caused a lot of frustration, because there were a lot of things in there that we were counting on having sooner rather than later.  But nothing has been as disappointing to me as not having the Easter things for the kids.

Given that Friday is a holiday here, I finally accepted today that we really aren’t going to get our air shipment before Easter.  I’m disappointed.  But that’s not going to stop the Easter Bunny from visiting us here in Austria, so today, we went shopping.

We all headed off to the mall together, and Dan distracted the kids while I went to play the Easter Bunny’s helper.  I didn’t want to replace their Easter baskets, since we have perfectly nice ones that we just can’t get to, but which will available for subsequent Easters, so we found cute Easter-themed gift bags which should work well.  Then, I set off to fill them.  Since Liam is only 6 months old, and B doesn’t need any more sugar than his current gelato habit provides, I decided to go with toys, rather than candy.  I ended up spending about twice what I’d been planning (I found the perfect thing for B, but had to decide between two things, and then found the perfect thing for Liam, but it was really expensive, and after searching for something less expensive, I gave up, 005bought it, and went ahead and bought BOTH things for Benjamin because his things were so much less expensive — which was less about needing things to be even and more about justifying to myself buying both, which I really wanted to do in the first place).  Dan was supportive of my decisions when I got back, so we called it a success and headed home.

It feels good to make Easter happen.  A lot of what Easter is for my family is a time to get together — we’re not going to get to do that this year, which is enough of a loss.  I was really sad that I ALSO wasn’t going to have all of the right stuff to make their baskets, but it feels really good to improvise with what I have available.  I know that, right now, it means more to me than it does to my kids, but it feels good to make it happen, just the same.