Danke, Amigo!

Posted on October 28, 2011 by admin

There are a lot of things we’re hoping to take from this experience of living abroad — memories of travel throughout Europe, the calm confidence that comes from having conquered a massive challenge, the perspective that comes from living out of your comfort zone. And, for the kids (if not also for us) hopefully a little bit of German speaking ability.

With Benjamin being in school, I imagine that he, at least, will leave here with a good working knowledge of German. As he gets more comfortable at school, they’ll be phasing the English out and the German in, and I’m confident that he’ll pick it up. It’s amazing to me how much he’s learning already.

As much as TV is maligned when it comes to toddlers and preschoolers, I actually have to give the shows we’ve been watching a lot of the credit so far. Probably about half of the TV that Benjamin watches in a day (and he probably averages about 3-4 hours per day — I know, that’s a lot) is in German. Much as I am sheepish about the amount that he watches, I can’t deny that he’s learning something from it. He will often recite words in German that I recognize solely from the TV he watches, and he’s now showing a preference for the shows that are in German — he’ll even ask me to change the soundtrack on many of his favorite English language shows to German.

In fact, he’s picking up a surprising variety of language from TV. In addition to the German, he’s learned several words of Chinese from “Ni Hao, Kai Lan” and he’s learning Spanish from “Diego”. So far, though, his mental categories of language include “English” and an “other” that can be called German, Spanish or Chinese but which consists of all the same words. In other words, he comfortably mixes words he’s learned from each language together, and even gets frustrated with the inconsistency — the other day, he sternly told Diego on TV that the word for “pull” isn’t “jala” (Spanish) it’s “la” (Chinese).

Just today, he was telling one of his toys, “Danke, Amigo!” Not only was it impossibly cute, but it makes me hopeful for his future linguistic understanding. He’s only 3, but with learning things like this, it’s an advantage. What a souvenir to take with him when we go home — not just the ability to speak and understand German, but the confidence that it will give him to go out in the world.

The field trip that wasn’t

Posted on October 27, 2011 by admin

Benjamin’s class went on a field trip today. They took a bus to a farm and picked out pumpkins. I’m sure they had a great time, but I wouldn’t know: Benjamin didn’t go — he stayed home with me, instead. When his teacher first brought it up to me last week, she explained about the trip, and then immediately suggested that B not participate. Her thought was that, since he’s just now starting to be enthusiastic about being at school, they were worried that a trip away from the school, without either of his parents, might prove to be traumatic to him and undo the progress we’d made. Although I completely understand her perspective, I couldn’t help but feel a little sad — his first school field trip, and he was uninvited.

Benjamin, however, shared none of my sadness. After leaving school that day, I asked him if he wanted to go to the farm with his class. He said no. He said he wanted to stay home with me for the day — which was absolutely fine with me. I’m more than happy to have him home, but if he had wanted to go, I would have done everything I could do to make it happen (offer to go along and chaperon, offer to travel separately and meet them there). As it turns out, though, every time it was mentioned in front of him (like on Tuesday, when I was confirming the date with the teacher) he would look at me and ask, “Am I going to stay home with you?” and when I assured him he was, it would make him happy.

So, today, we stayed home: Benjamin, Liam & I. We had a quiet day. I’d had thoughts of gonig out, doing something special, going to a park or on a trip of our own, but it was chilly and threatened rain all day (which only materialized for a few short moments). Instead, I bought him the Disney Pixar “Cars” movie on iTunes and we watched that together (twice). He loved it. (We went to see “Cars 2” in the movie theater, but hadn’t seen the first one yet.) We all curled up on the couch, or on the floor, had snacks, watched movies and read books. It was a good day. I got to be with both of my boys today, and that’s better than a field trip to me.

Dinos!

Posted on October 26, 2011 by admin

Today is the National Holiday in Austria. It’s a national day of rest (nearly everyone takes off of work) but it’s also a day to learn about and celebrate all that Austria has to offer: the Parliament and the National Library hold Open Houses, the military displays some of its major equipment on the lawn in front of the Hofburg, and many of the museums have discount admissions to encourage people to come out.

Well, it worked — people were out and about, all over Vienna, enjoying the city and taking full advantage of the tours and discount admissions. Dan had off of work, and Benjamin’s school was closed, so we decided to do something fun (and discounted) as a family: we went to the Natural History Museum to check out their recently reopened (and rumored to be excellent) dinosaur exhibit. On the way, we walked past the Parliament (which had a tremendous line out the door of people waiting to get in to see it) and when we arrived at the museum, there was a long line, outside in the rain, to get a ticket and get in. We waited, and got our tickets and went inside, where it was even more packed (I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a museum so populated).

The exhibit was fantastic — Benjamin and Liam were thrilled. The exhibits were impressive, from skeletons of a giant prehistoric armadillo and a humongous Diplodocus, to the skulls of a Tyrannosaurs and a Triceratops, to a model of a Pterodactyl and a Tyrannosaurus, to a fantastic animatronic Allosaurus. It was great. When the Allosaurus model started moving and roaring, Benjamin got very worried and decided that he wanted to go home (until I explained that it was 1) a robot and 2) attached to the table it was mounted on — then he decided it was pretty neat). I, personally, learned a lot about Ichthyosaurs. Liam had a great time checking everything out and patting the model of the Woolly Mammoth.

We had a great time and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. I noticed that the descriptions on the exhibits (which, luckily, were in English as well as in German) had a very different tone here than I’m used to at home. Here, things are stated much more absolutely — the layer of soil deposits is “proof” of a meteoric extinction event (at home, I think they would have said, “strongly supports” or “is evidence of”). Here, there is no “theory” of evolution — it’s just stated as fact. There is much less equivocation — much less concern about being politically correct (which shouldn’t surprise me, really, after having lived here for 6 months).

On the way home, we went by the Hofburg and checked out some of the military equipment. B was fascinated, and really enjoyed getting to climb on everything — he and Dan even waited in a REALLY long line to get to go inside of a portable radar vehicle, which turned out to be his favorite part of his day. The highlight for me, though, was watching both of my boys be amazed and impressed by the dinosaurs — finding out that they were real, and not just something from cartoons and tv. It was a great Nationalfeiertag!

Austrians and elevators

Posted on October 25, 2011 by admin

On the whole, Austrians are courteous, helpful and generally polite when I encounter them out in public. People seem to generally do what they’re supposed to do (throw their trash in the trash cans, sit where they should on the train, give up their seat to someone older or less able than themselves, hold doors, cross at crosswalks, etc.).

The example I get to experience, frequently, is how helpful they can be with a stroller. The trains are generally set up to work well with strollers — there’s designated stroller parking areas on the trains, and doors that are marked which are stroller accessible (generally, but not always, they’ll even accommodate our double stroller) and all of the underground trains are accessible by elevator.

Every so often, though, an elevator might be out of service. And although I prefer to travel up and down by elevator, I will use an escalator in a pinch — but not every station has an escalator going down, and often the staircase is too long to try to manage a stroller on my own down a flight of stairs (what’s possible isn’t always safe). And some of the trams and out-of-town trains have several steps up to get inside. Both can be difficult, if not impossible, to manage with a stroller. 100% of the time that I’ve run in to a difficult situation I have had one or more complete strangers offer to assist by helping me carry the stroller up or down the stairs, helping us on or off the tram or helping us carry excess stuff that isn’t easy to manage on an escalator. (I had one particularly memorable situation where I had Liam in the stroller, B on his bike and the elevator was broken. I had no idea what I was going to do — I simply didn’t have enough hands to get everyone safely up the escalator. But then a woman who had just come down the escalator I was trying to go up stopped and offered to help. She carried the bike while I managed the stroller and Benjamin — and she even missed her train to do it.) This kind of kindness is a normal part of daily life here in Vienna. I’m still a little surprised when it happens, but people generally count on it, and it is incredibly reliable. I am incredibly grateful for this help when I need it, and truly impressed by the culture of responsibility and thoughtfulness that has created it.

But this leaves me all the more perplexed by the behavior I see regarding Austrians and elevators. Every single day, I see people go out of their way to walk to take an elevator when they could, more easily and more quickly, have taken an escalator or the stairs. They will wait for the elevator to come (the elevators here aren’t usually very fast) and pack themselves in. There are signs on the elevators stating that priority is to be given to strollers, people in wheelchairs, and the elderly, but no one seems to care. I have, on several occasions, been pushed aside so that seemingly fit people can take the elevator that they had to walk out of their way to get to. (I’ve seen wheelchairs pushed aside, too.) Generally, the people here don’t shrink away from physical activity, and the sense of courtesy and responsibility seems so strong that I just can’t make sense of this one weird little thing. It just seems so out of character based on everything else I experience here, but it’s also remarkably pervasive. (I wonder if it’s related to the dislike of waiting in lines that seems to be common here, too.)

I am impressed and amazed by the amount of kindness and help I’ve gotten here when I need it — it’s part of what made my mind up to move here when the opportunity came up. The strangeness with the elevators doesn’t undo that — it’s just a piece of the puzzle that I don’t understand yet (and there are still a lot of those).

Happiness is a Spider-Man umbrella

Posted on October 24, 2011 by admin

Benjamin saw it in the window of a shop down the block, and he’s been talking about it ever since. It’s a clear, plastic child’s umbrella, featuring Spider-Man. He fell in love with it.

He doesn’t have any particular affinity for Spider-Man — in fact, I think this may be his first exposure to the concept (he’s been calling it the “spider umbrella” — I think it’s the spider part of the design that attracted him). But, since the first time he saw it, he’s been asking us for it. I asked him if he’d rather us find him a Lightning McQueen umbrella (which is his current favorite character), but he said no, he’d actually prefer “the spider one”.

The truth is, an umbrella is a pretty reasonable purchase for him (I just bought myself one, as too) since he’s out, back and forth to school, every day. Besides, we wanted to indulge him. His asking (very sweetly, with lots of “please”s) over and over was actually really cute — he managed stay persistent without getting annoying.

So today, after school, we went and got it. I had completely forgotten, but the second I touched, heard and smelled the plastic, I remembered exactly the sensation of holding a plastic umbrella as a little girl. I used to have one just like it (not with Spider-Man, though — my mom remembers it as Hello Kitty).

He is thrilled. He carried it all around the store, all the way home, and around the house for a while. He was so excited to show it to his Grandma on Skype today, and then to Daddy when he got home from work. Later this evening, when he went out with Dan, to pick up dinner, he took it with him (it was raining, so it got its first real use). It was so much fun for me, too, to get it for him. It’s fun to be able to spoil him sometimes (and I’m so glad to be able to do that).

Kurbis Fest

Posted on October 22, 2011 by admin

We’re not exactly sure how they celebrate Halloween here in Austria, but it’s definitely different than back at home. We’ve had pumpkins available to buy in the grocery stores for weeks now (just like at home) but they come pre-painted. There are a lot of pumpkin and scarecrow decorations to be found around, but very little else — no black cats, ghosts or witches, no vampires, bats, mummies or monsters. There aren’t bushels of trick-or-treat Halloween candy for sale at the stores. The focus seems to be on the harvest, on pumpkins, on the season. It isn’t a bad thing, just different.

We don’t know what to expect as we come up to Halloween. Benjamin is old enough to look forward to it, so we’ve been trying to come up with our own way to celebrate (we’ve heard rumors that there are neighborhoods that do host trick-or-treating, but we don’t know for sure, and we also want there to be a “season” to it, not just a night of candy-induced hysteria). It’s actually been a little hard to do — at home, you’d be able to go pumpkin or apple picking from mid-September, go on hay rides, shop and plan for Halloween costumes. We can’t find costumes anywhere (my mom is sending over some of mine and my brothers’ from when we were kids) and we haven’t been able to find any “Halloweeny” activities to participate in at all . . . until this weekend.

This weekend was the first of two Kurbis (Pumpkin) Festivals in Vienna. (There may be more, but my semi-extensive internet research got me information on two.) First thing this morning, we headed out on the Strassenbahn, and then the (very crowded) bus, up to the top of one of the hills overlooking Vienna, up to Am Himmel. It was chilly, and we got lost on the way. But it was FANTASTIC.

It was everything we’d been missing about celebrating fall. It was sunny, cool and beautiful. Benjamin chose pumpkins for himself and Liam — we could have carved them there at the festival (they had specialized scooping and cutting tools and everything) but Benjamin wanted to wait until we got home (and honestly, they were cleaner and easier to transport whole). Benjamin and I built and flew a kite together (with help from a VERY kind assistant who translated the German instructions for us). We drank cider, ate pumpkin soup and fresh bread, sampled pumpkin cream liquor, selected some local ham, ate langos (a kind of fried bread with pumpkin seed pesto and a lot of garlic) and enjoyed some warm apple wine. Benjamin played on an extensive playground, Liam practiced his walking (he’s not so good off road yet — he kept getting hay wrapped around his legs and trying to fall down).

Enjoying all that autumn had to offer, I couldn’t help but miss my family a lot. We all really enjoy the fall and preparing for Halloween, and I wish we could have all been together today. (Although I did feel very connected with them all — especially my Dad while building the kite — throughout the day.) We enjoyed the beautiful day, we played and ate and drank outside, and then, chilly and a little chapped from the wind, we walked back down the hill, climbed onto the bus and headed back home. It was a good day. And next week, if we want to, we can try another kurbis fest. Hooray for fall!

Hot chocolate at Michaelerplatz

Posted on October 21, 2011 by admin

The last few nights at our house have been rough. Liam is teething again, and Benjamin was having strange (and apparently unpleasant) dreams about Elmo and Grover being at our house, which had something to do with us having to move. So, we were ALL up a lot the last few nights. I managed to sleep in a little bit this morning (thank you Dan) but it was still one of those weird days where I can’t quite seem to get anything to happen the way that I want it to and I somehow make it to 4:30 in the afternoon without having done any of the things I intended to get done.

It being Friday, this concerned me less than it might have on another day (because having one of “those days” at the end of the week doesn’t tend to spiral into the following days, thus leading to one of “those weeks”). But still, I wanted to at LEAST get my walk in for the day, so around 4:30 this afternoon I started to get the kids changed, dressed and out the door for a walk. We made it out by 5:00, Dan was due home by 5:45 and I was wondering if it wasn’t just a silly thing to try to accomplish with my day.

I’m really glad we went. I walked, Liam rode in the stroller and Benjamin rode his bike. It was chilly, but really lovely — we made it out in time to still have a little sunlight to enjoy the beauty of Vienna. I didn’t get a lot of exercise in — Benjamin was easily distracted today, and the dark was closing in quickly — but I really enjoyed a nice time out with my boys.

Heading back, we came through Michaelerplatz. It was just getting to be dusk, and the chilly air was starting to creep in. We went past Starbucks, and I couldn’t resist — I took the boys in for hot chocolate (really, just for me and B, Liam just got a little whipped cream). We sat outside and watched evening come on. It got darker in the square — the carriage drivers lit their lamps, the cars and bicycles turned on their headlights, and the streetlights came on, one after the other, in front of the Spanish Riding School. Benjamin proudly carried, and drank, his hot chocolate all by himself.

We sat, and talked about our day. I wrestled Liam (who desperately wanted to get down and walk around on the cobblestones). Dan got home and walked down to meet us. I love these moments with my kids — when we share something completely ordinary, yet very special. Going “to a cafe” (as Benjamin explained it) and having hot chocolate, together, on a chilly fall day, is pretty special. Doing it in the heart of Vienna makes it magic.

Mommy, can you fix my blankets?

Posted on October 19, 2011 by admin

I might still be up, or it might be the middle of the night, or almost the morning. But, I hear the cry of “Mommy! Mommy?!” and off I go. I stumble in the darkness, past (or over, or through) toys, bikes, train tracks and books. Benjamin needs me.

I usually get up with B in the night, and Dan gets up with Liam. We’ve found that if Liam sees me in the middle of the night, he decides it must be midnight snack time, while if Dan gets up with him, he goes back to sleep more easily. This works out pretty well for me, since most nights, Benjamin sleeps all night, and Liam is much more likely to wake up (although he’s been doing really well lately).

Usually, if he asks for me in the night, Benjamin wants me to fix his blankets. He sleeps with about 7 blankets and they have to be arranged a particular way. (They actually don’t — he sleeps just fine with them in any crazy kind of mess — but if he’s awake and AWARE that they aren’t the “right” way, he’ll want me to fix them.) He is so sweet. “Mommy, can you fix my blankets?” “Ok”, I say. As I’m adjusting them, sometimes he’ll talk to me, about the day, or about the next day, or about how he’s been asleep, or hasn’t been asleep. I answer him, but it usually falls on deaf ears — even though he’s fairly alert, and talking to me about things, he’s typically asleep again before I finish adjusting his bedding.

It’s just a little thing. There are nights where I grumble a bit on my way to or from his room (often after stepping on a Lego or something else with sharp corners) but the truth is, I love it. I love having an excuse to go in and give him a kiss and get him all tucked in for sleep again. I love my sweet children, and I am so glad for these precious moments with them.

Stuck in an elevator

Posted on October 18, 2011 by admin

I was having a grumpy day today. No particular reason — I’d been feeling lethargic all day, even though I have a long list of things to do, and that combination wasn’t putting me in a good mood. Then, this afternoon, Liam refused to take a nap, meaning I got to spend 2 hours trying to keep him quiet enough to let Benjamin nap — not an easy task, since he seems to want to turn every toy in the house into a percussion instrument of some kind, and he’s also in a major phase of not wanting to be restrained — kicking, flailing, throwing his head around, scratching. A charming way to spend a few hours on a day when I already was in an unpleasant mood.

Late this afternoon, I was feeling a little frazzled, and decided that getting out of the house and going for a walk would be just the thing to get my mind back in the right place — besides, Liam would be confined to the stroller, so it would, at least, be the first break I’d get from wrestling him today. It was a good idea, but the process of getting myself and both boys ready to go nearly sent me over the edge. I was literally growling at both of them by the time I got Liam strapped into the stroller and Benjamin’s shoes velcroed onto his feet.

But, at last, we were out the door, in the elevator, on our way out. As we descended, I breathed a sigh of relief in anticipation of my refreshing walk. And then, we stopped. The elevator stopped, which is great (beats the alternative) but then the doors didn’t open. Uh-oh. I pressed the ground floor button, I pressed the door open button. I pressed every button the elevator has . . . repeatedly. Nothing.

Much as this might seem to be a “straw that broke the camel’s back” moment, it really wasn’t. The second I was confronted with something ACTUALLY being wrong (as opposed to my general grumpiness, which wasn’t brought on by anything) everything got better. In the moment that I realized we were stuck, I became focused on taking care of my kids — I became a mom, instead of a grumpy, tired, put upon 35 year old.

Benjamin started out ok, but got progressively more anxious in the moments after figuring out that not all was well. (Liam seemed fine for the duration.) Benjamin offered several helpful suggestions (for example, “Just push the buttons, Mommy”) and when I explained that I’d already tried that and it wasn’t working, he started to get upset and cry.

I sent Dan a text to let him know what was going on, I set up my phone for Benjamin to play a game, and I waited. I waved at Liam, I smiled at Benjamin, I watched him play his game. Dan took care of getting the building caretaker on the phone and over to us (impressive, as this man speaks not a word of English) and he, in turn, took care of getting us out in pretty short order. (There was a slightly stressful moment where I guess he turned the power off, because it got VERY dark — I think he tried to warn us what he was doing, but I didn’t understand, so the complete darkness came as a surprise.)

We were in there for less than 10 minutes. Although it ostensibly seems like it should have been the most stressful part of my day, it was actually the best thing that could have happened to me. It completely got me out of my bad mood — reset my mind and got me thinking about what was really important. We went on a lovely walk, and even Benjamin (who is very sensitive to stress) had a pleasant evening with no ill effects (he even suggested we try the elevator on the way home, which surprised me).

Being stuck in an elevator with my two kids saved my day. I would never have asked to add that to my experiences of the day, but it turns out it was just what I needed. It’s funny how often that happens.

An adventurous weekend

Posted on October 16, 2011 by admin

The passing of our six month milestone here, along with the rapid onset of cooler temperatures and earlier sunsets have really kicked me into gear in terms of getting out and doing the things we want to do around Vienna. The days are short (and getting shorter), cold (and getting colder) and numbered, so we must get out and see what there is to see.

With Benjamin in school until noon every day, we don’t get home until around 1:00. Then it’s time for lunch, then a nap. By the time they’re up and about, it’s typically 3:30 at the earliest. Even this leaves us a few hours until Dan’s return home and the beginning of the dinner/evening/bedtime routine around here, so I’m going to be making a point to use those precious hours, as well. But, for longer excursions, it’s got to be the weekends, and we’re going to make the most of them.

This weekend, we definitely worked toward that end. Our Saturday morning was spent in our usual manner of going to the grocery store, vacuuming, folding laundry and doing other small chores around the house. But, after nap time on Saturday, we were done with chores and tasks. We set out to do some hiking/walking around (to me, the difference is whether or not the surface is paved, and we did a little of each) and to have dinner up on the side of the mountain overlooking Vienna. It was chilly when we left home (about 10 degrees Celsius) and it started getting dark (and colder) almost immediately after we started our walk. We had an excellent time. We saw some beautiful sights, explored (may have trespassed at) a gorgeous hotel overlooking the city, and had an amazing dinner by candlelight.

Today, we left, first thing, for the zoo. The plan had been to get out of the house as early as possible (we left around 9:30, which is pretty good) and to be back for nap time (around 1:00/1:30). In a shocking (for me) display of flexibility and enjoying the moment, we didn’t get home until after 4:30. Benjamin made a list, last night, of the animals he wanted to see. We saw them all (he liked the flamingos the best). We rode the train (twice). We walked from the back exit of the zoo to the Gloriette of Schonbrunn and looked down on Vienna (Liam walked a significant part of the way, holding Dan’s hand — he did NOT want to ride in the stroller or be carried). We had an impromptu lunch in the sun on a bench, the boys threw several fits (each) and we all came home worn out, a bit out of sorts and completely off of our normal schedule.

It was great. I wouldn’t change anything about it, and I’m already thinking about what we’ll do next weekend.

It’s not easy for me. I make a list of the chores and tasks to be done around the house every weekend, and it drives me a little crazy if they don’t get done. I have to let go of that if I want to make the most of our weekend in terms of exploring. This weekend, we left more than half of our to-do list undone (much of it not even begun). I’m also making a serious effort to live more in the moment — to enjoy what’s happening around me instead of thinking about what needs to happen next (and when) or obsessing about what’s still to be done at home. I don’t feel the need to cram every moment full of “experiences” (staying home and cuddling on the couch is an experience, too) but I do want to prioritize having fun over having a clean house, being together and enjoying ourselves over feeling accomplished at checking “something” off of our to do list.

We don’t have an infinite amount of time here. I want to make the most of the time we have. I don’t want to leave here with any regrets about things I wanted to see, or do, or experience with the boys. Realizing this about my time in Vienna makes me realize how true this is of life in general.

The vacuuming can wait. The flamingos can’t.

A Mommy Abroad

Our big adventure, as a family of three.

Category Archives: Kids and Parenting