Faschings

Posted on March 14, 2014 by admin

We’re starting to get the hang of the whole Faschings thing, but we don’t quite celebrate it like locals yet. Although the purpose is completely different (it’s the Austrian version of Mardi Gras or Carnival) a lot of the celebration is effectively like Halloween. Kids and many adults wear costumes and the kids have big parties at school. It’s a pre-lent celebration, so there’s a certain focus on fun, frivolity and food.

The boys love it. They love getting to dress up in costumes for school, and they love their parties. This, being Liam’s first year of school, it was also his first year to truly participate in the fun of Faschingsfest. Unlike for Halloween, when I tend to encourage the kids to opt for a spooky costumes made of things we might already have at home, each year that we’ve been here for Faschings I’ve tried to convince them to go shopping with me for a costume. The difference is that, as an American, I’m experienced with Halloween — I’m pretty much an expert. I know all about how it works, so I can afford to be creative with the implementation.

With Faschings, I’m pretty ignorant, so I’ve always thought it’s safest to go purchase something, since I’m not an expert and I don’t really know what is most appropriate (and also, complete store-bought costumes are absolutely the norm). Most of the kids here tend to dress in happy/fun character costumes of some kind — lots of Batman, Spider-Man, firemen, fairies, butterflies, princesses, pirates and clowns. But my kids have never taken me up on the offer of a pre-Faschings costume shopping trip, so instead of browsing the selection at the toy store and choosing something Faschings-specific, my guys think of it as a second Halloween.

This year, they started out wanting to be Jedis (which, although very cute, isn’t really quite the kind of thing that kids dress as for Faschings — it’s a little too obscure for the average 3-5 year old in Austria). They got Jedi robes for Christmas, though, and they have great light sabers that would work with their costumes, so I was absolutely in favor of this plan. But then they each changed their minds a few times. Liam ended up deciding to use the Ewok costume B wore last year and B chose to go as “a soccer guy”.

They had a great time, and looked super cute. B only barely looked dressed up in a costume, and everyone thought Liam was a bear, but they were very happy. They had a clown come to their school and they ate cake with their classes. And then, at the end of the day, they each came home with a neatly wrapped krapfen to eat (another Faschings tradition) and a few small gifts from their teachers.

They loved it. We might not quite have it “right” yet, but though we’re not yet quite celebrating Faschings like the locals, we’ve definitely figured out the enthusiasm and the fun.

5 Reasons I’m Glad my Children Are American & Austrian*

Posted on March 12, 2014 by admin

* more or less

(I’ll start off by qualifying my response — I don’t really consider my kids to be Austrian. With two American parents and a plan to return to the US, I think of them as expats, and as third culture kids, but not as Austrian.

That said, in the spirit of Amanda’s blog link up, I will share the ways in which my kids are both American and Austrian-influenced that I am the most glad of.)

1. German/English
I’d be surprised if this doesn’t make everyone’s list. My kids, at 5 and 3, have already had an immersive exposure to a second language. Benjamin is nearing fluency, and Liam has spent very nearly his entire life surrounded by German. With both of them attending an Austrian public kindergarten (entirely in German) my hope is that however long our time in Austria, they will have a strong foundation on which to build competency in whichever language they might choose to learn in the future. (And certainly I expect that they will have no fear of the prospect of learning another language.)

2. It’s a small world/and they are bold enough to explore it
Living in Europe, we are constantly reminded of how small the world is. We live in a country that is roughly the size of US state of South Carolina, and we could be in another country in less than an hour. (We once almost accidentally took a train to the Czech Republic — so glad we didn’t, as we didn’t have our passports with us!) People who live in Europe are so accustomed to travel between countries that it’s sometimes done without really noticing. And if you don’t really think about leaving your own country, then the world is truly more open to you. What, really, is the difference between flying to Paris or to Istanbul? Between taking the train to Rome or to Zagreb? My kids have had that barrier broken — they know how to travel and they enjoy it. (Plus, I hope they learn from the Austrians that vacation time is important and to be used.)

But yet, I often hear from my Austrian friends that we travel more than they do. And that’s the part I hope they take from being American — the fearlessness and the spirit of adventure. I want them to grow up feeling that travel is worthwhile and that any destination they might dream of is open to them.

3. I’m learning to let go … except where it’s really important to me
Kids here have more freedom — A LOT more freedom — than I’m used to. They are less hovered over, less protected and more independent at earlier ages than American children. Elementary school aged children routinely go to and from school unescorted, and travel across the city on public transportation to do so. Children in preschool learn to use knives for cooking and scissors for crafts, and they carry around candlelit lanterns every fall. I’ve learned a lot about loosening my apron strings with my kids from living here and seeing the Austrian example. But, I also hold on to the boundaries that I brought with me when I feel like they’re important. I don’t plan to adopt the Austrian custom of sending my elementary school aged kids to school alone on the train, and you’ll never see me walking down the sidewalk of a busy street with my kids trailing several yards behind me. Living in Austria has taught me that I was being an overprotective parent before, but I feel like being from the US taught me some wise ways in which to be careful.

4. Mountains/beach
I had not seen a proper mountain until I was 12, and I hadn’t truly been on a decent one until I moved here. Living in the mid-Atlantic region of the US, we had “mountains” and went “skiing” … but only because I didn’t really understand what either of those things truly meant. My vacation experience as a child was almost exclusively connected to the beach. That’s what I grew up with, and what I knew. Only recently have I discovered the rugged beauty and wild peacefulness of time spent in the mountains. My kids, however, already know both. They’re as likely to ask for a summer trip to the Alps outside of Salzburg as they are to ask for a week at the beach in Delaware. As purely east coast Americans, they wouldn’t know about the mountains, and as Austrians they wouldn’t be likely to have experienced the ocean. I’m grateful that they’ve done both.

5. Formality/flexibility
Austrians are generally good citizens. People here respect the rules, law and order, and each other. They keep their trains clean and public conversations rarely rise above the volume of a loud whisper. But I don’t think anyone in the world queues like Americans. We might be loud, rude, confrontational and brash, but we can wait our turn in a line with amazing patience. (We’re really, truly, very good about it.)

I hope my kids learn Austrian manners — to shake hands and look someone in the eye, to always greet everyone and to say goodbye, to be punctual and take pride in their appearance. But I hope for them to also learn the warmth of an American — to smile, to be kind even to strangers, to open themselves to small connections and interactions throughout the day.

There are so many great things for my boys to learn from each of the cultures that shape them. I hope they can choose the best pieces from each and use that new perspective to see the world in a unique way.

Our only snow of the winter

Posted on March 11, 2014 by admin

It isn’t impossible that we will still get a big snow storm (we got snow in May last year, and frankly, if posting this jinxes us, I’d welcome it). But the birds are singing, the crocuses and paper whites have bloomed, and it’s light out when we wake up and when Dan gets home from work. Spring has unofficially come early to Vienna, and winter never really brought us snow this year.

We had a two small snows of 1-2 inches or less, and many days with snow showers or flurries. But the kids never got to go sledding, and the “Dachlawine!” signs never had to come out for the melting. We had, as always, plenty of cold and lots of gray skies, but, disappointingly, very little snow.

The only snow my boys really got to enjoy this year was a big snow we got in the US when we were home for Christmas (which inconveniently came the night before we were supposed to leave and resulted in an 8+ hour delay for our return flight home). At the time, I debated whether to let the boys go out and play in the snow — I was worried by how much laundry and packing of wet clothes I would be required to do afterwards. But I’m so glad I allowed the more fun part of my mind to rule. I’m so glad that they got two days of digging and playing in the snow, of snow angels and of shoveling the walk “to help the neighbors”. I’m glad they got to catch snowflakes on their tongues and toss snowballs at each other (and at us). If it was to be their only opportunity to play and enjoy the snow this winter, I am so very grateful that I didn’t allow worries over damp socks and soggy hats get in the way.

The rest of the staycation

Posted on March 10, 2014 by admin

So I got away from writing about the staycation a few weeks ago, but I wanted to finish the story of the rest of our week spent enjoying Vienna. We didn’t do anything else as ambitious as skiing, nothing else as iconic as the Riesenrad, nothing as unexpected as swimming in a giant wave pool. The end of our staycation was a bit quieter, but still really fun.

Even though our ski trip this time was the easiest of our ski attempts so far, it was still exhausting, and we decided to spend the next day resting at home … and building paper airplanes.

We followed that with another great trip to the Vienna zoo, which is one of our favorite places in Vienna to spend a day with the kids. As always, I was most amazed by the close access visitors have to the animals, and the close oversight required (on my part) to keep everyone safe. (Why yes, that IS a picture of Liam with his hand in the cheetah enclosure. I am an awesome parent.) As I’ve mentioned before, it would be possible — and in many cases quite easy — to climb into quite a few of the animal habitats. My years spent in America watching people be protected from their stupidest impulses leaves me in a state of constant awe as I wander through the zoo and witness not a single person take advantage of the minimal security at the zoo.

We had a great day. The weather was warm (for early February) and sunny and we had a beautiful time enjoying Vienna. We found a honey vending machine near the bee area, where we purchased some local Vienna honey in a jar (because it seemed like the thing to do) and spent a long while playing at the playground where my kids demonstrated what they’re like in their own semi-natural environment.

And after our lovely zoo day, it was time to prepare to get back to work and school and our regular routine. We had a great week enjoying Vienna. It is pretty wonderful to get to enjoy a week-long European vacation without leaving home.

THIS is a Spielplatz!

Posted on March 7, 2014 by admin

I’ve talked a lot about how much I appreciate the playgrounds here. They’re less safe, undoubtedly, than those back home, but the ones here provide much more opportunity for my kids to challenge themselves physically and mentally, to accomplish things they didn’t think that they could, and to sometimes make the choice to back down from a challenge that is too great for them. Sometimes the ladders are too high, the ropes too wobbly, the slides too steep. I like seeing them make their own choices about what is a reasonable amount of risk to take on. (After all, aren’t we faced with choices like that our whole lives?)

I forget sometimes that however challenging and extreme our neighborhood playgrounds seem by my American standards, they are nothing in the overall scheme of Austrian playgrounds. Two weekends ago, Liam wanted to visit a playground that we’ve been to before, out in the western outskirts of Vienna (at Am Himmel). Since we’d last been in the fall, they’ve updated a lot of the equipment, making this one of the most challenging playgrounds the kids have ever been to. Liam remembered it for the “giant slide” — a 10-12′ tall slide (with no railings) that gives me butterflies every time either of my kids climbs it. After the update, that is now seriously one of the tamer elements.

My kids had a blast, and I survived (just barely … just kidding). I think these places to play are fantastic. Yes, I bet kids get hurt here all the time. I imagine that teeth get chipped, arms get broken. And I know if something like that happened to one of my kids, I’d be likely to beat myself up over having allowed them to take those risks. But it is truly amazing to watch them in this environment, pushing their limits, accomplishing difficult things, working out solutions, and sometimes deciding that a challenge is too ambitious. In this moment, I do believe it’s wort the risk … and it’s also an absolute ton of fun, for all of us.

5 things I love about my expat life

Posted on March 5, 2014 by admin

I’ve never done a “blog link up” before, but I’m feeling inspired by Amanda van Mulligan over at Life with a Double Buggy and I thought I’d participate.

There’s a lot to love about expat life (there’s also plenty to dislike, which at least keeps life interesting). Here are some of the things I love most about my life as an expat.

1. I have a new perspective on my homeland. Back before my expat life, when I was living in the US, there were things I liked and things I didn’t, and I believe I always had enough sense to see through the “everything’s better here” mentality I often saw around me. But it took stepping outside of my own culture to truly appreciate the things we actually do better than anyone else (hamburgers, milkshakes, the sheer variety of international food readily available, cheap yet quality clothing, delivery of everything, and a genuine willingness to attempt just about anything) and to understand the ways in which we generally don’t measure up to other places in the world (public transportation, ridiculous and unattainable standards of beauty, access to health care, and early childhood education). I miss and appreciate the wonderful parts of America and can frankly question our failings. And I also have the perspective to choose to opt out of many ways of thinking that I always took for granted, especially if I can now see that it does me a disservice.

2. Learning that “doing” has a time and place (and it’s not evenings or Sundays). America is a 24/7 country. It feels like everything is open and available all the time, and this creates a pressure to constantly being “doing” more, checking more things off of the to-do list. Living in Austria, where everything is closed evenings and Sundays, has changed my perspective completely. It used to frustrate me to have to accomplish my errands during business hours, but now I truly appreciate the peace and sanity that comes from setting aside evenings and Sundays as time for friends, family and rest.

3. I know that a true challenge can be good for my kids. The mentality of over-protectiveness and “helicopter” parenting that pervaded my early years as a parent does not exist here. At school and in the playgrounds, children here are given more opportunities to fail and they are less protected from the consequences of those failures. Playgrounds are made of wood and metal with plenty of dirt and rocks. Slides are tall and without safety rails. At school, preschoolers handle knives and lit candles. 3 year olds go on field trips with their classes, and 9 year olds ride public transportation on their own. These challenges and responsibilities allow the kids to stretch themselves physically and mentally. They accomplish hard things, they learn to brush themselves off and try again when they fail, they learn to be cautious in order to stay safe, they learn to be responsible for their own actions. Left within my own American culture, I doubt very seriously if I would ever have allowed my kids to take on some of the challenges they’ve tackled here. And what a shame that would have been.

4. Living a life less ordinary. I don’t think of myself as a risk-taker. This isn’t a path I ever thought I would choose. I think of myself as much more typical, do-what-everyone-else does kind of person. (Although I mentioned this to my husband the other day and he did remind me that not all that many people leave their lucrative careers as software engineers to become basically impoverished dance instructors, which we did several years before moving to Austria, so my mental image of myself may need some adjusting.) But I am so profoundly grateful that this is what I’ve done. Choosing to do things differently, choosing to take on the massive challenge of relocating our family overseas, choosing to let go of my own expectations for myself (and my perception of the expectations of other) has given me so many amazing benefits. I’ve learned more about myself. I’ve learned more about the world. I’ve become a happier person. I worry less. I enjoy more. I’m a better parent. I’m more emotionally flexible and so much less judgemental. Stepping outside of the “normal” path, and beyond my own perspective, is an amazing gift. And, I love that my kids are growing up to truly be citizens of the world. They will have a perspective about the world, and an ability to move through it, that will shape their entire world view for their entire lives.

5. The confidence I’ve gained that I can handle anything. Being an expat (especially, I think, an expat parent), I’ve experienced so many challenges. From emergency hospital visits (in 3 different countries now, I think?), to enrolling our kids in a completely different kind of school than we had ever anticipated, to the daily slog of using a language at which I’m basically inept, life abroad with kids has forced me to push beyond my own limits. I have dealt with difficult situations and people, I have taken care of myself and my family and, even in the face of some of our hardest moments, we have been able to find joy and peace. I no longer fear being faced with a situation that is too hard for me. Whatever it is, I know I will be able to meet the challenge. I have a faith in myself that I”m not sure I would ever have gained any other way.

Baking “together”

Posted on March 4, 2014 by admin

From time to time, the kids and I bake together. I try to do it each weekend (and we actually manage to do it about half that often). In theory, it’s a great idea — they like it, I like it, and I believe it’s good life skill training. They get to practice measuring and following directions, and they will (hopefully) get to adulthood with the idea that they can produce something in the kitchen.

But in reality, it never goes how I imagine it. No matter how prepared I am, our baking always devolves into disaster — kids throwing ingredients, eating massive amounts of the ingredients or blowing ingredients into each other’s faces, me snarling or grouching the kids into semi-submission while it all starts to feel like torture instead of fun. About half the time, one or both of the kids either quits early or ends up getting removed to go play something with Daddy while I finish up in the kitchen. I’m completely willing to let go of the quality of the finished product, and I’m 100% ok with the ensuing mess, but I’d like to actually get SOMETHING into the oven at the end of the process . . . and more than anything, I’d like for all of us to enjoy the experience (at least most of the time).

Grandmas, and organized Pinterest-ready moms, I need your help — how do you do it? How can I make it work? Any secrets to being somewhat successful at baking AND at allowing all of us to stay in good spirits at the same time? (I am actually asking.) We have great intentions, but we just don’t have that much success. I’d like the reality to more closely resemble the sweet pictures I take during the precious few minutes of calm amidst the calamity.

Bad words

Posted on March 3, 2014 by admin

Benjamin’s German is better than mine at this point. He certainly understands more, and though our vocabulary is focused in quite different areas, I would guess that he speaks more German than I do (and his pronunciation is certainly better).

This leads to some very particular challenges that I imagine are faced by parents of bi-lingual (or nearly bi-lingual) children everywhere. I don’t always know what the boys are saying when they speak German, and more specifically, I think B is saying things that he shouldn’t be, but I can’t be sure. Add to this the fact that B’s best friend at school is a native Spanish speaker, and everything gets more complicated.

I know the “big” swears in German (the same ones everyone knows if they’ve watched enough WWI movies) but I don’t know anything about the ones a kindergartener might use. He and his friends had a fondness for one that was an amalgamation of Spanish and German and roughly translated into “poop death” (it took me FOREVER to parse what he was saying) and he’s recently added one that I don’t recognize at all, but the mischievous giggle that comes with it makes me pretty suspicious.

I think my best strategy at this point may be to make a video of him saying it and then to distribute it to my Austrian (and maybe Spanish speaking) friends for analysis. In the meantime, it may just be that getting away with a little naughtiness is one of the perks of living abroad when you’re 5.

Public transpor-tantrum

Posted on February 28, 2014 by admin

We love the public transportation system in Vienna. Truly. It’s clean, it’s reliable, it’s inexpensive, and it’s nearly as fast as getting around by car (not that we have one). And, since we don’t have a car, it’s our primary mode of transportation.

But HAVING to commute by public transportation, every weekday, with both kids, can also be a challenge. I take the boys to school most mornings — a 40 minute trip during morning rush hour on an U-Bahn (subway) train and a city bus. And the major trick is that my boys are 3 and 5, AND there are other people who want to use the train to get where they’re going, too. (Imagine that!)

It’s really hard to have an audience for all of the difficult times that can happen in the morning. For those of you who take your kids to school or daycare by car, just think back to every morning car ride that’s hard — rides that feature screaming, throwing things, poking each other, looking at each other the wrong way or 1,000,000 times of asking the same question (at increasingly louder volumes). We have those, too, and we have a train car full of strangers as an audience. And, because our “audience” is primarily Austrian, so they are, by nature, some of the most shockingly quiet people on the planet. What an American considers normal conversational volume on a train is effectively shouting on an Austrian train, so the normal volume at which my children speak is almost always the loudest sound on the train. And that’s on a good day.

Most days are fine. On days when the train isn’t too crowded and we get our own space, things generally go well. If the boys each get a window seat, and I can sit next to whoever is the most fragile on that particular day, I can typically manage a head off any problems. But there’s no way to guarantee that. Even when things go “badly”, it’s usually ok. The boys like to sit by themselves in their seats, so usually a warning that bad behavior will result in having to sit in my lap is enough to save a potentially bad trip . . . but not always.

This morning was a tough one. In fact, it undoubtedly goes on the list of top 5 worst trips to school ever. We ended up in a crowded train car. B sat by the window, but Liam didn’t get to. I sat next to B, and across from Liam. Liam kept leaning on the woman sitting next to him. He wouldn’t stop, so I picked him up and held him, which resulted in him screaming, trying to wiggle out of my arms, and kicking me … a pretty normal 3 year old tantrum. It’s part of life as a parent. But to go through that while literally surrounded by other people is rough. In the course of his tantrum, he managed to kick 3 other passengers, hit me twice and have literally every eye in the train on us. I just held onto him and tried to restrain him and calm him down as best I could. He cried and screamed and flailed, but we really had no options. The train was quite full and we were lucky to have seats at all. We just had to get through it. As a last resort, Liam even asked if the guy sitting across from him (a complete stranger) could hold him instead. (Nice.)

By the time we got on the bus, all was well. The rest of our trip to school was fun and peaceful. But these are the mornings when I really wish we had a car, so I could strap them safely into their car seats and handle any screaming meltdowns in private.

A trip to the Spital

Posted on February 26, 2014 by admin

This was not what I had planned for my Monday. I’d had a nagging pain in my back for a few days — nothing unusual for an over-tired, semi-out of shape mom with two very active little guys. As Monday went on, the pain got worse. I finally decided to take a moment to grab two Aleve, and just when it I was about to take them, I got a crushing pain across my chest and back. It took my breath away. I felt like I was being squeezed with a giant rubber band across the left side of my chest and back. I’ve never felt anything like it.

Of course, it freaked me out. It could not have seemed more like a heart attack. But, I’m 37, and other than being overweight, I have no other risk factors related to my heart. I exercise regularly, eat reasonably well, have good blood pressure and no family history of heart problems. So, seriously? But, I also worry about EVERYTHING, and though the pain subsided a little, as the afternoon went on I found myself having a hard time taking a full breath from time to time.

I finally texted Dan and asked him to come home early — less because I was actually worried and more because I could not shake the horrible image of me passing out while home with both kids.

Since I have a lot of anxiety, and I suspected I was getting myself worked up over nothing, I honestly expected my symptoms to disappear as soon as Dan came home. They didn’t. And as I played Wii with Benjamin, I struggled to focus through intermittent waves of pain and short breath. I finally decided I needed to get checked out.

So, off we all trekked to the Emergency Room. We pretty much all HAD to go because Dan didn’t want to risk me passing out on the strassenbahn or anything, and we didn’t have a sitter.

Long story short, I’m fine. After getting checked in with lots of expected eye-rolling (this is Austria after all), I had an EKG, had some blood screenings done, and ultimately had a CT scan to rule out a pulmonary embolism (which apparently matched my symptoms better than a heart problem). I was completely fine. The doctor suspects I have a pulled muscle in my back that was basically seizing up every time I tried to take a breath. Frankly, that’s what I thought it probably was, too, but I just couldn’t shake the worry that it might be something worse. Ultimately, I was sent home with a prescription for some pain medicine in case the muscle pain comes back, and a suggestion that if it does, I should probably see an orthopedist.

Since Monday, I’ve been completely fine. The pain in my back was gone by mid-day on Tuesday, and I’m back to feeling good. I also feel a little silly for dragging us all to the hospital, but it is comforting to know that I’m ok. And we had a much more adventurous Monday than anyone had planned.

A Mommy Abroad

Our big adventure, as a family of three.

Category Archives: Adventure in Vienna