Because love is fantastic and life is hard

Posted on March 26, 2013 by admin

I have two boys, who I love more than anything in the entire world. I was made to be their mama, and I am profoundly grateful that I have that honor. They light up my days with love and joy. Watching them learn and grow and become more of who they are each day is an amazing blessing. I am so lucky.

It is my most desperate hope that one day, they grow up to be kind, strong, intelligent, happy, peaceful, loving men. I hope they have lives that fill them with joy. I hope they live such wonderful, exuberant, amazing lives bursting with passion that they don’t think to call me every day. And I hope they are loved. I hope they find someone who sees the fantastically wonderful people that they are and who feel as lucky to be in their lives as I do.

Because, love is fantastic. And because life is hard. Stuff happens. Things get tough, hearts get broken, people suffer and struggle. And we are all saved by the people who carry us through that. We ALL need each other. Each of us gets to, if we’re lucky enough to find them, choose that one other person we need beside us on those darkest days — and the one we want to share the gorgeous, transcendent, bliss-filled moments with, too. We ALL get to choose. And that choice, once made, should be equal, in the eyes of the law, whoever is making it and whoever they choose.

Equal. The SAME. Not “equivalent”.

Because, people, life is hard and we need each other. Nobody should have to do it alone and nobody gets an asterisk for “almost but not quite”. Whatever the future holds for my boys, my friends, my friends’ children, their friends and millions of others that I’ll never know, I want them to get to share their love, and their life, with the person they choose.

Frankly, I hope my kids grow up to read this and fail to understand the need to talk about marriage equality. I hope they think that this discussion is ludicrous, because, in the world they inhabit, it will hopefully make no sense to them. I hope that my children will inherit a world where this argument is antiquated, embarrassing and recognized as being fed only by hate and unfounded fear.

I’m an American, and I believe in freedom of religion. I believe this also grants us freedom from religion. The separation of Church and State ought to guarantee that the outdated morality of much of our citizenry cannot dictate the law of our nation. Marriage, as defined by the Church, is the business of the Church (although hate and exclusion have no place there, either). But marriage, as defined by the State, belongs to all of us. Equally.

March is still winter in Vienna, too

Posted on March 25, 2013 by admin

When we left for our weekend trip to Salzburg last Thursday, it was (amazingly) not snowing. Lately it has felt like we miss all the good winter weather — the two best snowstorms in Vienna this year happened when we were skiing in central Austria and when we took our trip to Italy. We left on the first day of spring, and we expected to return to spring (much like we expected to find spring in Salzburg).

While we were gone, it snowed in Salzburg. It also snowed in Vienna, which was rather a surprise to us, because there hadn’t been any snow in the forecast for Vienna. But we woke up yesterday morning to Facebook stories and pictures from our friends, showing a snow-dusted Vienna.

We got back, and it was still snowing. We had snow accumulation on our uncovered, but somewhat sheltered, terrace. We went to bed, it was snowing. We woke up, it was snowing. It has snowed all day. The outdoor café tables are covered. The daffodils and crocuses that had bravely pushed up through the ground are covered. The forecast calls for more snow tomorrow (all day) and more later in the week, too. Looks like winter isn’t done with us yet.

Vienna to Salzburg by train: ÖBB vs. Westbahn

Posted on March 24, 2013 by admin

For our trip to Salzburg this weekend, we weighed the options, in terms of time and money, and ended up taking the “Westbahn” train from Vienna to Salzburg. This is a relatively new train service, and we’d never taken it before — for travel inside of Austria, we’d only ever used the ÖBB service. Using something new is always a little stressful, especially traveling with the kids — an adult might take a setback or an inconvenience with mild frustration and see it as a lesson learned, but for a little kid, it might create a ton of unhappiness (for everyone). So, armed with a recommendation from a friend, and the consolation that whatever happened, it was at least the cheapest option, we headed off to catch our Westbahn train at the Westbahnhof station in Vienna.

It was fantastic.

In addition to being cheaper (which was actually only true because Jo was traveling with us — Dan and I have ÖBB discount cards which would have reduced our fares), it was actually a lot more functional for our purposes.

The very best part is that the access to the train is at ground level — we just pushed the stroller right on board. On most of the ÖBB trains (except for the Regional Express), there are a few steep stairs. Trying to get the kids and the stroller into the train quickly and safely is always stressful and difficult. Then there was a large luggage rack right inside the door, so once we were on, we stowed all of our bags, folded up the stroller, and made our way up to our reserved seats on the upper deck (being upstairs was fun for the kids and gave us a nice view, too). When we were boarding, we saw a special car along the train that looked to be set up for families — we didn’t know anything about that, but we’ll look into it for our next trip.

Once upstairs, we found our seats and got comfortable. The seats aren’t numbered, so rather than having specific seats reserved, there was an entire table roped off for us. Since we were 5, rather than 4, that meant Jo didn’t get to sit immediately next to us on the way home, but she was guaranteed a seat on the upper deck of the same car (and I’m sure we could have asked people to switch seats if it had been an issue). There wasn’t any room at the seats for luggage (which was the only negative we encountered) but they did have coat hooks. The tables were very functional, with no places for pinched fingers. On the other hand, almost all of the seats are at tables, which might be more awkward for someone traveling alone. The seats were easily adjustable with a tiny bit of recline (standard for what we’ve seen in terms of the angle of reclining, but easier to adjust). And, it was so convenient to have power outlets between the seats for recharging . . . especially because there was also free Wi-Fi on the train! It was great — it was no problem to entertain the kids on the trip. We had access to games, tv, everything, for the entire ride. And the ride itself was relatively short (about 2.5 hours to Salzburg, slightly faster than the ÖBB Railjet).

There was a self-service café located in every-other car, which was great, because although having a full-service café car is nice, it can sometimes be tough (and occasionally impossible) to actually reach it and then get safely back to your seat. This was easy. And, each car has its own attendant, so there’s always someone to ask if a question or an issue comes up.

The bathroom signs get extra points for humor. I also found the bathroom clean, and I witnessed the ladies’ room being cleaned mid-journey, which is always a plus.

Overall, we loved it. It was much more functional for our purposes and less expensive. I’m so glad we gave it a try!

March is still winter in Salzburg

Posted on March 23, 2013 by admin

I packed completely wrong for this trip. I could blame our recent trip to Italy, where we were romanced by a week of spring, but I actually blame the calendar and the weather forecast. First of all, it really IS spring now, so expecting rain instead of snow isn’t completely unreasonable. And second, the weather report didn’t prepare me for this at all. There was a little snow forecast for our first evening, then it was supposed to warm up the next morning to the mid-forties and stay dry. So that’s what I planned for.

But that’s not what we’ve gotten. The snow from our first day was enough to sled in. I didn’t bring sledding stuff. No snow pants, no insulated gloves. I only opted for snow boots over rain boots at the last minute. I didn’t even pack a real winter coat for myself — just a fleece and a rain jacket.

Since then, some (but not all) of the snow has melted, and it has stayed pretty chilly except for yesterday afternoon. Today, when we ventured into Salzburg, it was surprisingly cold. And snowing. Again. We don’t have the bunting on the stroller (we actually took it off, the morning we left, because we thought we wouldn’t need it), long underwear or lined jeans. We have our spring clothes, so we were cold.

We were here in October, and got snow then, which really should have prepared me. But I thought there would be more springtime starting in the mountains. At least a little. I haven’t seen a single crocus blooming, or even a hint of spring plants poking out of the ground. I had visions of sitting on the balcony, like we did last fall, and enjoying the stars. Not this time. Maybe if I had brought warm slippers and a big coat, but I don’t, so it’s too cold.

It is still really winter here. And winter is beautiful, but I wish we were dressed for it.

An impromptu lunch in Germany

Posted on March 22, 2013 by admin

Today was our “drive around and explore” day for this trip. After yesterday’s snow, we weren’t sure we’d be able to make it work, but by breakfast time this morning, the roads were clear, and by the time we were ready to go, all of the snow on the south-facing slopes was pretty well melted. The skies were forecasted to be clear and the temperatures in the low forties, so we decided to go for it.

After an excellent (if cloudy) adventure investigating a nearby mountain (Trattberg) on our trip last fall, Dan voted to start there again today. We had to go *up* to get there, but that didn’t turn out to be nearly as much of an issue as it was that we had to ascend on the north-facing side of the mountain. We literally turned a corner and went from clear, dry pavement to snow-covered road bordered by snow-encrusted trees standing in knee-deep snow. We were surrounded by lots and lots of snow. Snow. Everywhere. We didn’t continue with that plan. (Especially once we realized the summit was another 800 meters above us on an unsheltered peak. I have no doubt that the road to the top was not open, and I guarantee our rental minivan, even with manual transmission and snow tires, could not have made it much further than where we turned around.)

So, we went to our backup plan, which was taking a quick trip across the border into Germany. It was only about a 20 minute trip, even from our mountainous detour. We were nearly there when it occurred to me that none of us (except Jo, who I guess is still a responsible American) had our passports with us. Not just “not with us in the car”, but “not with us on the trip at all”. My mental response was simply, “Oops! Well, whatever.” (Now THAT is certainly something I never could have imagined I would think when about to cross an international border with my family.)

Driving into Germany, we were thrilled by the beauty of our surroundings. The water in the river was so clear we could see every rock at the bottom. The mountain peaks were hugely impressive and beautifully snow-covered (and, thankfully, we weren’t driving up them). Each corner we turned was lovelier than the last. We drove happily along until we found the very cute (and infamous, for being the location of Hitler’s “Eagle’s Nest”) town of Berchtesgaden.

We wanted to look around, so we found a spot to park (outside of the Brot u. Speck, or “Bread & Bacon” shop, which totally won me over) and wandered around a bit. We found some lunch and a nice picnic spot, had an apple strudel, bought some postcards and admired the view. It was a lovely afternoon in a little German town.

And that was it. Our adventure for the day was a lovely excursion to Germany for lunch. Just a routine part of our vacation in the Alps.

Night sledding

Posted on March 21, 2013 by admin

After our train ride to Salzburg (more about that later), we picked up our rental car and drove south, into the mountains. This area, which is south of Salzburg, at the northern edge of the Alps, and full of mountains and valleys, is as beautiful as we remembered. As we drove through the valley, we had some rain, mixed with a little snow, but we could see, further up the mountainsides, that the trees were still flocked with snow, and the clearings were completely white.

As we climbed up the hill to our destination, the rain/snow mix turned to all snow. The trees were covered, and all of the grassy areas had several inches of accumulation. Suddenly, it was winter again. The last time we were here, we got to experience the first snow of the season, and we came back to more.

We arrived and got settled into our awesome place. Everything is warm and cozy. We placed our order for farm-fresh (as in, from the backyard) eggs and milk for morning and our hosts brought us got coffee and cake. Bolstered by warm beverages, we headed back out, into the snow for some sledding in the dark.

We didn’t go far — just to the top of the hill in the play area beside the inn. Despite the (sometimes heavy) snow, it wasn’t too cold . . . which was fortunate, as I hadn’t expected to go sledding and I didn’t bring snow pants or insulated gloves for anyone. It was just a short hill, barely steep enough to work, but fun and easy for the boys. They loved it.

We played, pulling the sleds up and sliding down, giggling boys and happy parents. We took breaks to slide down the slide, make snow angels, throw snowballs, ride on the seesaw and play on the swings. The snow would pause, for just a few moments, and the moonlight would break through the clouds. It was peaceful and fun. It was one of those crazy, rare moments where we’re all happy and relaxed and truly enjoying each other. It was an excellent way to start our long weekend here. And, whatever else we do over the next few days, the trip was already entirely worth it.

To Salzburg!

Posted on March 20, 2013 by admin

Ever since our trip last fall to the greater Salzburg area, we knew we’d go back. Just by luck, we happened to have found an excellent hotel, in the mountains south of Salzburg. It’s a working organic farm, high up on a hillside, overlooking a picturesque Alpine Valley. They have cats, bunnies, chickens, cows (you can stop by at milking time and see where the next day’s breakfast’s beverage comes from) and even a goat. It’s just a 20 minute drive from Salzburg, and about the same from the German border. We were lucky enough to enjoy the first snow of the season when we visited in October. This weekend, we’re going back.

Jo’s tenure here will be over soon, and we wanted to share one of our favorite parts of Austria with her before she leaves. But really, that’s just kind of an excuse — we couldn’t wait to go back. Of all the places we’ve visited so far in Austria, it’s my favorite.

We’re looking forward to a weekend of playing, relaxing, exploring and seeing some sights in Salzburg. So excited!

The best laid plans

Posted on March 19, 2013 by admin

A good friend of mine, Krishana, who we haven’t seen in a while, texted me today. She was going to be in our neighborhood (literally across the street) this afternoon and wanted to know if we wanted to meet up while she was there. She was planning to arrive right in the middle of the boys’ nap time, but she graciously offered to change her plans to be able to see us, so we made a plan to get together after nap time. Perfect!

First, I made the mistake of *telling* the boys that we were going to meet her after nap time. Their tandem response was, “Krishana! We love her!” Note: never tell your kids ANYTHING exciting that is going to happen after nap time, because it will take forever to get them down and the nap will last 5 minutes. And that’s exactly what happened. The kids are usually great about taking (typically short) naps — they lay down willingly and stay down quietly for about an hour (sometimes longer). Today, it took me 45 minutes to get them to sleep and Benjamin wanted to get up literally 5 minutes after he closed his eyes.

So, instead of the kids being well-rested and having half an hour or so to wake up and get ready to meet our friend, they woke up at pretty much the exact moment we needed to start getting ready to get out the door if we were going to be on time. And they were cranky. Benjamin was grumpy. Liam cried whenever I tried to touch him. Bravely, I continued onward — I told them we’d need to start getting dressed in 2 minutes in order to get out the door on time. More crying. More grumpiness. I was getting stressed and frustrated. I didn’t want to be late, but I also didn’t want the kids to be miserable.

And then, I looked at the boys, imagined the amount of accommodation they would have to make, for my sake, to make the plans work, and realized, “It’s just not going to happen today.” As much as I wanted to see Krishana, to catch up and hang out, I was also very aware that getting to see her wouldn’t be as great — for anyone — if the boys were crying and miserable.

So, against all of my perfectionist mommy instincts, ignoring my internal self-scolding for blowing her off after she adjusted her plans around *our* schedule, I cancelled. That is so not me.

But, it was really pretty functional. Although I was disappointed and a little wistful that she was so close by, but we were unable to see her, I knew it was the right decision. The kids were tired, cranky and frazzled. I was in my overly rigid mommy mind where everything HAS to go a certain way and I get critical of myself and the kids when things go a bit off the rails. I get like that sometimes — more focused on how it “has” to be, instead of on how to make the best of the current situation — and I’m starting to learn to see that as a warning that I’m really not seeing things the right way.

I was bummed. So were the boys. (And, I’m guessing, so was Krishana.) But, we were all being taken care of in the way we needed to. I wasn’t asking more of the boys than they were really capable of in that moment. And I wasn’t asking superhuman things of myself — getting grumpy kids dressed and out the door in a few moments, all while trying to keep my patience and remember that we were supposed to be having a good time.

So, it didn’t go the way we wanted. My boys took their time waking up, got themselves together, and we had a good afternoon. No lost tempers, no hurt feelings, no unrealistic expectations. We’ll see Krishana again soon, and, in the mean time, we had a peaceful day.

Rain/snow

Posted on March 18, 2013 by admin

We woke up on Thursday of last week to an unexpected snowstorm. “How nice!”, I thought, “One last chance to enjoy a little snow before we get started on spring for real.” Because, you see, Vienna isn’t really like the Washington, DC area, where I’m from, which can pretty much count on getting completely slammed by a major March snowstorm at least every other year. Winters here, although cold, aren’t particularly wet, so we don’t really get all that much snow. (Your mental image of snow covered mountains in Austria is perfectly legitimate — just not for Vienna. You’re thinking of the Alps . . . which are further west.)And, what snow Vienna got this year, we mostly managed to miss with travel — the biggest storms this year came while we were (ironically) skiing in the Alps, and while we were in Italy. So I was happy to enjoy our last winter snowfall last week.

But, not so fast. Let’s not get excited. Spring may officially arrive in just a few days, but when we stepped out of B’s school this morning after dropping him off . . . it was snowing again.

I love winter, I really do. I love snow. I think it’s pretty and white and sparkly and makes everything more beautiful and creates this lovely, hushed, glittering, snowglobesque (I just made that up) environment that I LOVE to spend a few days inhabiting. But today’s relentless mix of rain, snow and sleet did nothing but my turn my wistful attention towards Thursday and the first day of spring. Seriously, I got rained on, snowed on and sleeted on all during the 10 minute walk to my German lesson tonight (and then again on the way back).

And yet . . . we’ll be in Salzburg for the weekend where . . . they’re calling for snow.

Bagpipes and Sousa — St. Patrick’s Day in Vienna

Posted on March 17, 2013 by admin

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! As an American of Irish descent, I feel a bit of extra pride in my Irish heritage on March 17. I don’t really celebrate the holiday so much, though, other than doing my best to make sure that my one green shirt is clean so I can wear it.

Like so many things, the American perception of St. Patrick’s Day is something I probably never would have taken particular note of if I’d never lived abroad. As much as the truly Irish may mock the green beer and general confusion about the distinction between a shamrock and 4-leaf clover, Americans do a pretty fine job of honoring the Irish each March. (Which makes sense, because whether or not we recognize it the rest of the year, there is a lot of Irish influence in the US.)

Things here in Vienna are a bit different. There’s very little distinction made between Irish and Scottish things, so you see a lot of crossover. And then, there’s just kind of general feeling of revelry, with not so much thought put into the relevance of it. For example, the St. Patrick’s Day parade in Vienna yesterday did go by the Irish abbey (although the name of the abbey itself translates to “Scottish abbey” thanks to an old naming convention), but it featured bagpipes, kilts (both mostly Scottish) and lots of John Philip Sousa marches (he was from the US, and I can’t find any connection to Ireland or Austria). It’s fun, festive and celebratory, so I certainly don’t hold the strange hodge-podge of cultural references against anyone, but it gives me a little appreciation for how (surprisingly) culturally aware the American celebrations of St. Patrick’s Day are.

However the festivities happen, it’s a day to enjoy Irish heritage, which, for me, means lots of thoughts about my family, my heritage, and my favorite place in the world to visit. This is my first St. Patrick’s Day since having actually been to Ireland, so the images it brings to mind, this time, are truly my own, and that much more special than ever before.

A Mommy Abroad

Our big adventure, as a family of three.

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