. . . 2013!

For the first time in recent memory, I’m entering into a year without having a set plan in mind for how it’s going to go.  The timeline for our year is very much up in the air right now, so I can’t confidently predict what we’ll experience in the next 12 months, but that doesn’t diminish my enthusiasm for it.

I know we’ll travel.  We have a ski trip (our first!) planned for later this month, and I’m working out the details of a trip to Italy in February (nothing like planning at the last minute — I’m an expert).  Benjamin has requested a return to Paris and Liam asks (daily) when we’re going to “rent a car and go to Germany” again.  There are places near here that we have yet to see:  Slovakia, Croatia, Prague, Graz and Linz.  And I am pretty confident that regardless of what our year has in store, we will find ourselves back in the British Isles again in 2013.  And, of course, in the US.

Liam will turn 3 in September, so he’ll start preschool this year (most likely) and Benjamin will be 5 (!) so he’ll start actual kindergarten.  I think that will be really exciting for both of them, and it will also mean that I’ll have a little time each day on my own.  I have no idea what that will be like (but I’m guessing I’ll enjoy it).

For myself, I want to make a point of getting involved in some kind of activity — riding, dancing . . . something.  Stuff like that has been missing from my days for too long.

I guess what I need to take from all of the uncertainty about our immediate future is to be open, flexible, and make the most of what I have in front of me.  I don’t know what 2013 has in store for me, but I’m quite certain it will be an adventure.

2012 . . .

What a year it has been.  An entire year of living abroad — stretching my own boundaries, learning about . . . well . . . everything, questioning my perspectives, forgiving myself for failing, learning to laugh about the challenges and continually brushing myself off and starting again.

2012 was the year of international travel for us — sledding in the Alps, ascending the Eiffel Tower, wandering through Normandy, visiting home, enjoying the beach, touring castles and moors in England, being sick in Scotland, discovering the wonder of Ireland, driving on the Autobahn in Germany.  All in the past 12 months.  Yep, it’s been quite a year.

Benjamin has pretty well adjusted to school.  He has friends.  He corrects my German.  He learned to ride his pedal bike this summer (in about 10 minutes), had his first surfing lesson from his Uncle Adam and discovered that he loves to ice skate.  He is shockingly brilliant and amazingly sweet.  He is the best big brother Liam could possibly have.

Liam started really talking (a lot).  He runs, jumps, rides his bike, builds Lego towers and constantly amazes us at what he sees and understands.  He went to the beach for the first time (although he didn’t love it).  He adores Benjamin and works to be like him every day.  He has an unending enthusiasm for nearly everything and is the fiercest hugger I know.  This was his first full year living on a single continent.

2012 was an amazing year — one of the most profoundly transformational I’ve yet experienced.  We’ve finally gotten our feet under us here in Vienna.  We can manage our daily lives and our routine transactions (often even in German!).  We’re starting to thrive, rather than just survive.  We know our neighbors, we have friends (friends that even help us move heavy furniture) and we’re really starting to figure things out here.  I’ve made many memories this year that I know I will carry with me forever.  Vielen Dank, 2012!

A clueless American’s guide to Vienna’s Christmas markets, part 3

I kept waiting to write this because I was hoping to make it to a few more markets before the end of the season . . . but they continued to elude me.  I couldn’t find the right time to go, the weather didn’t cooperate, we got busy with other things.  And then, Christmas was upon us and I took a break and a vacation from writing the blog to relax and spend more time with my family.  And, the upshot is that we ended up visiting the same 9 Christmas markets this year that we saw last year, and I’m just now getting around to finishing up recording our experiences.  (I’ve already shared my thoughts on the Am Hof, Rathaus, Spittelberg, Maria-Theresienplatz, Freyung and Karlsplatz markets.)

And yes, I realize it’s now after Christmas and all of the markets (even the few that stayed open through New Year’s Eve) have been closed up and packed away until next year.  But, perhaps this will be useful in future years.  So, in the spirit of “better late than never”, I present my thoughts on visiting three more of Vienna’s Christmas markets:

017AKH — This market, on the grounds of part of the University of Vienna (I believe it’s the medical school, but I’m not sure) is just far enough off of the beaten track of tourist venues to have a diffrent feel from the other markets.  Before about 6 in the evening, it’s a very quiet market, with a lot of handcrafted (but not very many Austrian) items.  There are a lot of varieties and options in terms of drinks (including several specialty/gourmet Punsch options) but only a few places to pick up food (the selection does, however, include an entire stand devoted to cupcakes).  In general, the crowd here is young and single (probably owing to the university location) and a lot of the market stalls reflect the age 030and tastes of the customers — lots of shops selling candles, woolen hats and wall decorations, and decidedly fewer selling fine food or artful home decor.  They do have a section of nice (if odd — the carousel contains a Mickey Mouse with glowing red eyes) children’s rides at a reasonable price.  (Wednesdays also offered children’s rides at a discount.)  The center of the market is built around a kind of bocce ball court which is the focus of a lot of the activity and socialization.  I’ve had several of my local, Austrian friends recommend this market, and that doesn’t surprise me — the Punsch is good and the atmosphere is less commercial.  I imagine that after years of wading through the tourists at the Rathaus or the Freyung, something like AKH is a welcome change.  (Although, along with the less touristy feel came a much lower percentage of English-speaking vendors.)  Aside from taking the kids on the rides, we didn’t spend a lot of time here, but I imagine that teenagers and young adults would particularly enjoy this market.

014Schonbrunn — It’s just not possible for the other markets to compete with the setting of Schonbrunn.  The market is laid out right in front of the massive and beautiful summer palace, and, if you find yourself in Vienna around Christmas, you should absolutely go.  It’s a bit of a trek by public transport from the center of Vienna (takes about 30-40 minutes) but it’s well worth it.  Of course, because it’s lovely, the tour buses pull up out front and unload mobs of tourists, so it’s always busy and crowded.  But, the market has a wide variety of wares for sale (with a lot of duplication from best of the retailers from the other markets), some of the best food we’ve had at a Christmas market (the krapfen, freshly made and filled to order are a special treat), and lots of warm drinks (including hot chocolate, which is surprisingly hard to find at a Christmas market).  Because this is a big market, housed in front of the palace, it can be really cold, and even windy as you meander through the stalls (most other markets, held in squares or on narrow streets can be quite cozy and warmer than you’d expect).  They don’t have any rides or entertainment for the kids, but the grounds are vast and just around the back of the palace.  We’ve found the Schonbrunn market one of the best to visit with the kids, because when they get bored, we can wander the grounds for an hour and then come back to the market when everyone is cold and ready for a warm drink.  The market at Schonbrunn is really not to be missed.  (This market is also one of the few that is open between Christmas and New Year’s, but I’ve never been after Christmas.)

043Belvedere —  The Belvedere market also benefits from a lovely setting.  It’s a small-to-medium sized market, with a lot of focus on food and drink and socializing.  There are some nice items for sale in the market stalls, but I noticed a lot of vendors from countries around Austria — the Czech Republic and Hungary, in particular — and fewer local ones.  Since Belvedere is also not in the main tourist area of the city, the prices seem to be a bit lower and the crowds are a bit thinner.  Every time I’ve been to the Belvedere market, there has been some kind of live music, and since (unlike other markets) the stage is located in the center of the market, it’s a real focus.  They do have a few small children’s rides off to one side, as well.  It’s a very nice market to soak up some music, laughter, conversation and Christmas spirit.

Staycation

008Although part of me really regrets not making plans to go home for the holidays (which I said I was definitely going to do last year, and then didn’t, again), it’s sometimes good to stay home, relax, and enjoy each other’s company for a few quiet days.  It’s even better to get to do that in a beautiful foreign city that truly embraces the holiday spirit.  We just spent a wonderful time — almost 2 weeks — with Dan off of work and B off of school, just enjoying having some time off in Vienna.  We didn’t “do” a whole lot of anything.  We didn’t travel anywhere, make a last-minute dash to any of the Christmas markets, or check anything major off of our to-do list.  But we had a pretty magical holiday, and I didn’t blog for (almost) the entire time.  It was like a real vacation, just without suitcases.

032We started our holiday celebration off by singing Austrian Christmas carols in our building’s chapel, by candlelight, in German, with a few dozen of our neighbors.  (Yep, our building has an ornate and gorgeous chapel on the 2nd floor.  And we tried to sight-read music to songs we don’t know in a language we don’t speak in the near-dark while wrestling kids and holding candles.  It was fun.  Really!)  It was festive and peaceful and lighthearted and it gave us a nice sense of community connection that we don’t always 087have here.  We followed that up with a failed attempt to see some more of Vienna’s beautiful Christmas lights — who knew they turn some of them off at 9:00?  (Certainly not me, given that we arrived at the street in question at about 8:57, just in time to ascertain that yes, in fact, there ARE lights, they just weren’t illuminated any longer.)  And although we failed that night in our quest to see the lights, we succeeded in getting snowed on a little, which definitely contributed to the holiday spirit.

015The next night, I surprised the family by taking us all on a horse-drawn carriage ride through the streets of Vienna, past several of the big landmarks and amongst the festivity of the last weekend before Christmas.  Although that’s certainly not something we do every day, we started our ride just at the end of our street, so it was a bit like getting a ride around our neighborhood, and it was Jo’s first time to see the city this way.  We all enjoyed it, and just as we were all starting to get cold, we were finished, and we warmed up with some hot chocolate and cookies.

041Then, it was nearly Christmas, and we were busy finishing up the ornaments on the tree, baking and decorating cookies and hanging stockings by the terrace with care.  And then we had a great Christmas Day.  We took in the magic and wonder of the boys finding gifts left by Santa under the tree, we played and shared and read and rested and enjoyed some wonderful food.  We Skyped with the grandparents, aunts and uncles at home, 044and enjoyed their company so much, even from a distance (and even while we despised the time difference that made our days overlap so little).

But Christmas wasn’t the end of our vacation, it was just the beginning!  We rested on St. Stephen’s Day, and then spent the next few days visiting dinosaurs at the Natural History Museum, resting some more, playing video games, wishing the animals at the zoo a happy new year and then wandering amongst the enthusiastically festive crowds gathered to welcome 2013 to downtown Vienna.  We didn’t manage to stay out u015ntil midnight, but we all stayed up to watch the fireworks from our kitchen window.

And then, Dan went back to work today.  B doesn’t go back to school until Monday, but he woke up this morning with a fever, and, just like that, we were back to reality.  I love my day-to-day reality (most of the time) but I miss the wonderful spell we had woven over the past few weeks.  It was time well and pleasantly spent, enjoying each other and celebrating together.  We had a great holiday at home.

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Hustle & bustle

All things considered, we are having a very quiet holiday.  Our shopping is done, as is most of our wrapping.  The tree is trimmed, the halls are decked, the cookies have been baked.  Tomorrow we have one last grocery stop, plus the usual festive activities — setting out the cookies, hanging the stockings, finding all the people for the nativity and reading “The Night Before Christmas” before bed.

We aren’t going anywhere and we aren’t having anyone over.  We don’t have to do anything at any particular time.  Of course, we have some indulgent meals planned, and we expect the boys to be up first thing on Christmas morning.  We will Skype with all of the grandparents, aunts and uncles.  It’s going to be great — we are looking forward to a wonderful Christmas.

But while staying home and not having guests creates kind of a peaceful feeling, I’m finding myself longing a bit for the organized chaos of a lets-get-dressed-and-pack-the-car-hurry-up-we’re-going-to-be-late mad dash to Grandma’s or Grandpa’s house.  Because although leaving the house and going over the river and through the woods can make me feel frazzled and a little stressed, it also means family, being together.  The sometimes hectic schedule of twice-over Christmases that I grew up with came from having so much holiday celebration that it couldn’t be contained on one day or in one house or with one part of our family.  It came from holidays overflowing with love where we always wished we’d been able to spend more time at each house and been able to spend more time talking to each person.

And I miss it.

I miss it because the craziness is just part of spending the holiday together.  And it seems like a lot when you’re faced with it, but it is so little energy to expend for what we experience in return.

So, while I am enjoying and wholeheartedly embracing this quiet Christmas in Vienna, I am also very much looking forward to some bustling, too busy, running late ones to come.

The darkest evening of the year

And suddenly, it’s the solstice, and 3 days until Christmas Eve and we’re on vacation.  (Yay!)  Dan doesn’t go back to work until after the first of the year, and B doesn’t go back to school until the 7th of January.  It feels wonderful.

015We started the celebration of our holiday this evening by joining our neighbors in some candlelight Christmas caroling (in German) in the chapel in our building.  We all participated and sang along (more or less).  My German pronunciation and reading have gotten good enough that I was able to read along with a lot of the music, and it was really fun to see which of the songs Benjamin already knows from singing them at school.  And it was nice to get to share this bizarrely cool experience of singing Christmas carols, in German, by candlelight, in an ornately decorated chapel in our own building, with Jo while she’s here with us — because there’s really not a way to describe it that will correctly convey the feeling of that experience, and now, at least, I have another witness.

033Then, we decided to go look at Christmas lights, and Benjamin wanted some Kinder Punsch (although, it turns out, that’s not what he wanted at all, but that is what he asked for) so we got ourselves dressed warmly and headed out.  And it started to snow.  And even though the kids were tired and the lights were off by the time we got there and we were all a bit exhausted and a little irritable by the time we got home, we all got to go out and go for a walk in the snow, together, after singing Christmas carols by candlelight with our neighbors on this, the darkest evening of the year.

And it really, really feels like Christmastime right now.

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The awkwardness of gift-giving in another culture

I’ve mentioned before that living abroad really emphasizes my uncoolness.  But, since moving to Austria, I’m not sure I’ve encountered anything that makes me feel more like crawling under a rock than giving gifts.

Honestly, it’s not something I was very good at in the States, either.  But at home, I kind of knew the conventions — what kinds of gifts are typically given and who should receive them.  (At pre-school, that would probably be the teachers, assistants, maybe a secretary and a principal.  If I was feeling super generous, I might include teachers from another class, particularly if they had helped us out and/or connected with my child.  At least, I think so — like I said, I’m pretty bad at this.)

Today, I brought Christmas gifts we had gotten for B’s teachers at school.  I know who B’s two main teachers are, and the principal, but after that I’m not entirely clear on the hierarchy and organization.  At the door to his classroom, there is a sign listing two assistants associated with his class, but the assistants from all 3 classes seem to switch around a lot and go where they’re needed, so it’s hard to keep track.

And then there’s the actual etiquette of presenting the gift — I have no idea.  Should I present them personally?  Leave them with one of the teachers to present?  Is it worth interrupting them in the middle of something?  (Can you tell I have a tendency to over think EVERYTHING?!?)  Seriously, I had never given a moment’s thought to it before moving here, but every bit of gift-giving custom and etiquette is part of a cultural social construct.  There’s no way to “just know” what to do, and it’s not covered in German class (and it’s certainly not in the guidebooks).

Benjamin couldn’t have cared less if I gave gifts to the assistant teachers or the principal, but he was definite that we should get a gift for his old teacher (who left to have her baby last spring), and, of course, to his two teachers.

I ended up deciding to give gifts to B’s two main teachers, the two assistants listed as being associated with his class, the principal, and B’s old teacher.  But, the actual presentation was an awful and awkward proposition — at the time that I dropped B at school this morning, there was an assistant in his classroom who usually isn’t, and I had to hunt down one of the “right” assistants in another classroom, and the other in the kitchen, and give them their gifts in front of other teachers.  I felt totally lame.  (One of his current teachers did say she could deliver the gift to the old teacher, which was a relief — I didn’t know if anyone would be able to.)

It can’t have been too bad — both of B’s teachers gave me a hug in thanks (and Austrians aren’t generally huggy people).  I know the spirit of the season and the thought behind the gifts got through the awkwardness.

But, I also know I didn’t get it “right”.  As with so many other things, I have to accept that that just isn’t possible right now.  It’s incredibly unlikely that I managed to stumble on to the exact right set of decisions.  But, I think I did better than last year.  I’ll keep learning. I’ll keep doing better.  And I don’t think I’ll ever find it so intimidating again — especially when I’m back in the U.S. (and I at least know which rules I’m breaking).

A tale of two kitties

003Nearly 30 years ago, my dad bought me a cat.  Not a real one, a stuffed one.  (Well, I had a real one, too, but this story is not about that cat.)  And he also got one for my sister.  I’m not sure what happened to Amanda’s, but I, in my careful and particular way that existed even when I was a small child, still have said cat (named Valentine) and “she” is still in pretty good shape.

At some point in my first few years of parenting, all of the stuffed animals I owned (there were still quite a few) became the property of Benjamin, and then, later, Liam as well.  Some of them have been very popular (one dog/wolf, renamed Vuh-Vuh by Benjamin, is one of his absolute favorites) while others have been pretty much ignored.  Benjamin really loves some of his stuffed friends — he travels with them, carries them with him around the house and tucks them into bed at night.  He’s kind of a cuddly guy, and he’s always been fond of his cuddly friends.

005Not so with Liam, though.  For the first two years of Liam’s life, he showed no interest whatsoever in stuffed animals.  He received several as gifts, and I bought him a few and offered him several of my old ones.  Benjamin even passed along a few of his favorites for Liam to love, but it never stuck.  On rare occasions, Liam would pick up a stuffed dog if B was playing with one, but he was never particularly attached.

That is, until he found Valentine.

Valentine had once been discovered by Benjamin.  He was quite fond of her, and she was on the list of favored stuffed friends for a while, but she never quite made it to favorite status (I don’t think she ever travelled with us, for example — not like Vuh-Vuh or Chase or Chester who, at various times, have been indispensible in B’s life).  And, in recent months, he kind of forgot about her and she spent a fair bit of time in the bottom of a toy bin in his room.

009But, when we moved the boys in together, we consolidated and cleaned out the toy bins.  Some of the toys that had been buried in the bins resurfaced, Valentine among them.  Liam found her.  It was true love.

The problem is that once Liam fell in love with her, Benjamin suddenly remembered how much he liked her, too.  It could have been a disaster, but they’ve done an amazing job of sharing, and Benjamin has been really understanding of the fact that 1) Liam is littler and gets more upset by not having things that he wants (at least in theory) and 2) Valentine (now called “Kitty” by both boys) is the only stuffed animal Liam has ever cared about AT ALL, so it makes it harder to deny him.  Both boys have been amazing.  Most of the time, Liam has custody of Kitty (who is also now a “he” . . . most of the time) with Benjamin “borrowing” him occasionally.

016Still, this has gone on for months now, and neither child is really happy, so when I saw a new, cute, and very similar stuffed kitty at a Christmas market today, I bought it.  I didn’t know how it would go — I was worried both would want the new one, or that both would find the new one an inferior facsimile.  In what might have turned out to be an incredibly boneheaded parenting move, I showed them both the new cat, explained the situation, and told them they had to work it out for themselves.

And, they did.  Now Liam has “Kitty” and Benjamin has “Jingle the Kitty” (to differentiate him from Jingle, the dog).  Not a tear was shed.  Both boys are happy.  Peace is restored to the kingdom, and each boy has a stuffed friend to snuggle.  Life is good.

What you make of it

019We had a great evening.  We’d been promising the kids that we’d go over to the Rathaus to ride on the train, try out the carousel and go for a pony ride “soon”, and, since we’re a week away from Christmas, we were running out of “soon”.

So, we went over to the Rathaus, all bundled up, because it was cold, and raining (not quite cold enough for snow — bummer).  We rode the Christmas train that drives through the park, taking us on a scenic tour of all of the amazing lights.  And, as an added bonus, the rain discouraged most of the other visitors — we had almost an entire train to ourselves.  As we drove past the pony ride area, we noticed — no ponies.  Maybe they were in because of the rain?  The boys were a little upset until we suggested we might get balloons or candy canes instead.  Balloons were an acceptable alternative to ponies, it turns out.

029But, our next stop was the carousel and the reindeer ride.  It was also completely deserted because of the rain.  We had a great time on the carousel, and since Liam didn’t want to ride by himself, I got to go, too.  We got a private carousel ride — just the three of us (pretty fantastic).  And then Benjamin got to ride on the lead reindeer on Santa’s sleigh/train.  Unfortunately, after our carousel ride and Benjamin’s turn on the reindeer, we went to find balloons, and came up empty-handed, perhaps because of the rain.  Undaunted, the kids happily accepted candy canes instead.

031We really had a great time.  It was actually quite nice to not have to fight the typical week-before-Christmas crowds.  It was a lovely evening.  It didn’t quite go the way we had planned, but it wasn’t a problem — not even for the kids (which was kind of impressive).

It strikes me as kind of a metaphor for our whole adventure . . . or maybe it just reflects something we’ve learned to be good at here — so often, you can make of an experience what you will.  Good or bad, festive or frustrating.  Tonight we chose fun & festive.  Happy choice.049

Passports are STILL important

Last spring, due to some poor planning and general flakiness, I ended up briefly living abroad without a passport.  I wouldn’t recommend it.

I realized that it was about to expire less than 2 weeks before the expiration date, and, as part of the renewal process, I had to surrender my passport and mail it back to the States so they could issue me a new one.  The stress of being without it was compounded by the fact that we had plans to go to France just over 2 weeks after I realized I needed a new passport.  It didn’t turn out too badly — I got my passport back very quickly (in time for our trip to France and everything — thank you, American Consulate).  Now I have it, and it’ll be valid until well after we’ve moved back to the U.S., so I pretty much won’t have to think about it again while I’m here.

Which COULD have been the end of the story.  Except that I have a husband who apparently did not learn from my cautionary tale and who is significantly less organized and more flaky than I am.  As stated previously, passports are important, and I’d recommend to anyone living abroad to keep their passport up to date.  Don’t do what I did — get it renewed promptly or (even better) renew it BEFORE YOU LEAVE your home country and then you won’t have to even think about it the entire time you’re abroad.  Makes sense.

Dan does not currently have a valid passport.  His expired in the beginning of December.  And, given that Christmas is next week and everything kind of shuts down around here for about 2 weeks, I’m guessing he’s not going to have a new one anytime soon.  I’m a little afraid that they’re going to come and get him (although I’m not sure which “they” I’m worried about . . . and he does still have a valid visa . .  kind of, in that it’s valid, but it’s not a visa . . . ).  He’s not concerned.  But he’s generally not concerned about anything until he gets concerned about it and then can’t sleep for a week.

Seriously.  Don’t do things this way.  Learn from our mistakes.  Passports are important.  VALID passports are even better.