Library train

Naturally, there are many cultural differences between Americans and Austrians.  Austrians are generally more orderly than Americans.  They are more careful about disposing of their garbage (and recycling, all of which is separated at the point of disposal here — i.e., there are separate bins for trash, paper, plastic and glass, even in the subway stations).  The bus and train systems here operate on nearly an honor system, which is rarely checked (although highly fined for violators).  On the other hand, Austrians hate to wait in lines and they almost never form an organized queue for anything.  Customer service here is nothing like what we’re used to in the US.  And although Austrians greet people in shops by habit and always stop to talk to neighbors and people they know, they almost never smile at or speak to strangers.

One of the most striking differences has to do with personal volume.  When in a public space in Austria, tourists and new arrivals stick out because they’re loud.  Really loud.  Obnoxiously loud.  Even speaking at what we consider to be normal conversational volume, we’re likely to be the loudest people around, in almost any setting.  I’ve gotten used to this, but it’s still a striking enough contrast to catch my attention.  Sitting at Starbucks, having a German lesson, I sometimes have to strain to hear my teacher.  She’s not unusually quiet, she’s just Austrian, and they have a cultural habit of keeping the noise down.

Yesterday morning, on the train with Benjamin, I was reminded of this again.  We were on the train, packed — standing room only — with morning commuters.  Benjamin and I were lucky enough to get a seat, and he was sitting on my lap and playing with a new toy.  His new toy is a little robotic fish that flaps its tail fin if you push a button.  It’s a quiet, mechanical noise, quieter than clicking the tip of a pen in and out.  It was, by far, the loudest sound on the train.  People who were talking were doing it in a near whisper, and headphones were quiet enough to be heard only by the wearer.  No one was bothered by Benjamin (kids are generally given a lot of allowances here for that kind of thing) but I was reminded of how different things are here.  The volume on this crowded morning train was more like that of a library than of a segment of public transportation.  That’s just what it’s like here.  That’s just Vienna.

The backwards Christmas

My usual Christmas preparation schedule goes something like this:  start thinking about Christmas gifts in August, start shopping in October, suspend shopping for a bit while I plan Halloween and help with Thanksgiving, set up the house in late November, get the tree in early December, finish decorating, wish I had sent Christmas cards, then begin a wild dash to get my shopping finished (starting around the 10th of December) and wrap everything starting about the 21st.  Usually, pretty successful (except for Christmas cards, which I always seem to start on too late to actually accomplish).

This year, I have to do everything differently.  I still started thinking about Christmas gifts in August, but I didn’t start shopping, because I wanted to wait to see what would be available at the Christmas markets, which didn’t open until mid-November.  I started shopping a few weeks ago, but I’m finding that I’m already way behind — stuff that I’m getting for my boys from the US has to be on its way SOON if it’s going to be under the tree (first it has to get here, then it has to get through customs) and the things that I’m sending home have to be on their way soon for the same reasons.  I didn’t count on so many of the things I planned to shop for not being available here.  And, not only do the toy stores here just not carry a lot of American items, they don’t stock items like they do at home — there aren’t 100 of everything “in the back” — they have what they have, and when it runs out, it’s gone.  (I already purchased something I really wanted for Liam and was lucky to get the last one — and that was 2 weeks ago.)  The result is that I’m in danger of stressing to the max about Christmas gifts, and it isn’t even December yet.

I know it’s not that big of a deal — if I get really stuck for a gift for someone at home, I can always order from a US company (oh, how I miss quick and free shipping — the USPS is a wonder I never really appreciated) and if I really need something for the boys, I can always shop in person at a store here and hope for the best.  It’s more that my rhythm is off than anything — I have a way of doing things that works for me, and I simply can’t do things that way.  (That’s been true of dozens of things here, this is just one more.)  The holidays really aren’t about the gifts.

Oh, and I still have to figure out the whole St. Nicholas thing, because apparently he comes NEXT WEEK and I have no idea what kinds of things Benjamin will be expecting, because he’s been hearing about St. Nicholas at kindergarten.  I don’t want him to feel like he’s missed out on something his classmates are all talking about at school next week.  (I don’t even know if St. Nicholas comes overnight before or after St. Nicholas Day . . . I have some homework to do!)

I haven’t started decorating the house yet, and it’s not even possible to purchase a real Christmas tree (as opposed to one that comes in a box) yet, because they typically decorate the trees here on Christmas Eve.  Add to that the fact that I don’t even know where I would buy one, I don’t have a car (and I can’t imagine the Austrians would take too kindly to my carrying a tree home on the U-bahn) and I have no Christmas lights yet.  (But those are problems for another day.)

It all sounds very stressful, and it is, if I think about it the wrong way.  But it’s also really fine.  None of that stuff matters all that much, anyway.  What matters is that we have a fun, happy, loving holiday season.  We’re going to look at Christmas lights (which are amazing here), visit the Christmas markets, bake cookies, open our Advent calendars and get ready for Christmas.  I have to keep myself in a good mental place to do all of that with joy, instead of with stress, because only doing 10% of it, but doing it with joy, will make a better holiday (for all of us) than doing 100% of it with stress.

I just have to keep remembering that.  And I’d better look up the St. Nicholas thing.

Undocumented sick time

Dan’s new job at the IAEA (he’s been there almost 8 months, so I don’t know if it counts as “new” anymore) has a lot of great benefits that we aren’t used to from home:  more vacation time, more sick leave (actually a nearly infinite amount, if he goes in and gets declared “sick” or “injured” by the IAEA nursing staff), use of the UN commissary, a housing stipend and a higher salary (plus cool things like paid paternity leave, which we don’t plan to take advantage of, but which I really, really, REALLY wish we’d had when the boys were born).  It also has “undocumented sick leave” which means taking sick time without going in to see the nurse — usually used when the spouse or children are sick.  I am so grateful for this kind of sick leave.

In our previous jobs (since we’ve had kids — before that it wasn’t an issue, because if I was sick, I used my own sick leave and just stayed home) we had to ration Dan’s limited sick leave across the entire family.  Because, frankly, it’s not like it’s realistic for me to have a restful sick day at home while I’m watching two healthy kids — and it’s worse if they’re sick, too.  Now, we don’t have to worry about “saving” sick leave in case Dan were to get sick — if he gets sick, he can just go in and get it approved and come home.  We only have to ration the sick leave between the days I might get sick and the days I and the kids might get sick at the same time.

I’m really appreciative of it today.  Last week, Liam was sick with croup, and Benjamin had a cough and a cold.  This week, Benjamin is nearly better, Liam is getting better and I’ve been getting sick.  Yesterday, I managed to get through the day just feeling run down, but today, I just couldn’t have done it.  I have a nasty sore throat and I’m completely worn out — one of those days where you sleep about 6 daylight hours and then sit at the dinner table, feeling miserable and trying not to fall asleep in your meal.

So, Dan stayed home.  Even though he knows it’s ok to use this documented sick time, he couldn’t help but stress about the things he’s leaving undone at work.  So, it was even better that his boss sent him an email today saying, “Stay home, take care of your family, do what you need to do”, which helped him to relax and focus on being here.  (Dan’s boss has sent such an email every time Dan has stayed home with us, which I think is infinitely cool of him.)

I am so glad Dan was able to be home today.  I am so grateful I was able to rest and work on getting better.  Other than feeling crappy, I’m feeling really lucky.

Gingerbread

‘Tis the season for many things — decorations, lights, music, holiday shopping (which means Christmas markets here in Vienna) and lots of festive foods and drinks.  Punsch is particularly popular here (we’re not entirely sure what it is, and it seems to vary by vendor, but it appears to be rum or vodka and a little bit of fruit juice, served warm), as well as hot chocolate, mulled wine, cookies and gingerbread.  Lots and lots of different kinds of gingerbread.

To me, gingerbread is something that makes little houses which are fun to decorate (theoretically — I haven’t actually done it in years) or a flavor that goes into a latte.  I did buy some mix last year and make a few gingerbread cake men (very yummy) but I honestly hadn’t given a lot of thought to gingerbread in my life.

In Vienna, gingerbread is a big deal.  There are entire shops at the Christmas markets devoted to nothing but different kinds of gingerbread — cakes, loaves, cookies.  At the Christmas market closest to our house, there are *3* gingerbread shops.  (Think about that for a minute:  3 shops that only sell gingerbread.  Seriously.)

A few weeks ago, Benjamin asked for a treat from one of the gingerbread shops when we were out.  He selected something from the case, took one bite, and decided he wasn’t interested.  I decided to try it.  What he had selected was gingerbread, topped with raspberry jam and coated in dark chocolate.  Yup.  It’s great.  I’ve been converted.  Now I love gingerbread.

Now, when we go to the markets, I often make a stop at a gingerbread shop.  This past weekend, at the Schonbrunn market, I had to elbow and push my way up through the crowd at the gingerbread shop to get up to the front to see what they had.  So, not only do they have dozens of new gingerbread markets around Vienna right now, but you have to shove your way up to the front of the line to get served.  They like their gingerbread here.  So do I.

I love Christmas in Vienna.

Shopping struggles

Before we moved here, we asked people who lived here already what we should make sure to bring — not the obvious stuff, but the things we wouldn’t think of on our own but would kick ourselves that we hadn’t brought along.  One of the top answers was clothes, especially for kids.  This made no sense to us — we weren’t moving to the north slope of Everest — surely there would be plentiful clothing in Vienna?  Even not totally understanding, we stocked up anyway — we tried to anticipate which things we would need the most and bought some extras.  I went crazy at the end-of-winter sales last spring.  But, of course, there were things we couldn’t get.

Now that we’re here, we understand.  Of course there are lots of clothes to be purchased in Vienna, but most of them are outrageously expensive by our standards.  There are lots of expensive dressy clothes, but even the jeans, the t-shirts, the every day kid clothes that you don’t want to spend a ton on because they’re either going to get stained, ripped or lost, or they’re going to be outgrown in about a week (think:  Old Navy) are significantly more expensive than at home — and that’s BEFORE you do the dollar/Euro conversion.

I’ve just started doing some Christmas shopping online, and I’m running into the same problem — a lot of what I could buy relatively inexpensively and easily online at home is either two to three times as much purchased here (again, that’s before the currency conversion) or it just isn’t available here.  There are also very few US retailers that ship to Austria — at least when it comes to toys.

It’s adding a frustrating wrinkle to shopping.  We’re having our family mail some things over, but that’s an imposition and a pain for them, and for some things (a few items I really want to get the boys for Christmas) just impractical because of what it would cost to ship them.  (And that doesn’t even mention the fact that we’ve had things take nearly a month in transit from the US to here, so I’ve almost used up my window to ship things from the States for Christmas.)

I’m just going to have to be creative for the rest of our winter clothes, and for Christmas shopping.  I’m so glad we stocked up as much as we did before we moved, and I’ll have to bring an empty suitcase and plan for some shopping when we go home.  And if someone asked me what they should bring when they move here, I’d say lots of clothes, especially for kids.  Go to Old Navy and buy it all.

Contemplating Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is one week from today — in the US.  Austria doesn’t have Thanksgiving, so far as I know, and it certainly doesn’t have it next week.  Next Thursday is just a normal day here.

The most important thing to me about Thanksgiving has always been getting together with my family.  The food is good, and football is always fun, but the real reason to celebrate is that everyone is off of work and able to be together.  This year, we won’t be there.

So, if Austria doesn’t mark Thanksgiving, and the reason we care about Thanksgiving is entirely on the other side of the Atlantic, what does that mean for us?  We’ve debated.  We were going to take a long weekend and travel away from Vienna — go and see another part of Austria, maybe Salzburg, maybe the mountains.  I thought it would be a good chance to take advantage of it being a festive time for us, but without any additional “holiday” charges at the hotels, and without having to worry about what would be open or not.  Good idea, but I didn’t get it together to actually make any plans.

Our next plan was to do nothing — just have Dan go to work as usual, have B go to school as usual, maybe do dinner out somewhere on Thursday, but otherwise, not really do anything and save our vacation time for another time (maybe when I actually *did* get it together to plan an excursion).

But that didn’t really feel right.  The thought of basically ignoring Thanksgiving, although it made some logical sense, was just a bummer.  So, we’re going with “plan C”.  Dan’s going to take Thursday and Friday off, and we’re going to do some fun things around Vienna as a family — go to dinner (we’ll look for turkey, but everyone is serving goose here now, and that’s probably close enough), explore some Christmas markets, try and sleep in, maybe go to the zoo, and see if we can find some Christmas movies, or maybe even the Macy’s parade, on TV or online.  And we’re definitely going to try to Skype our family at home so that we can be a part of Thanksgiving there, too.

It’s certainly not our usual Thanksgiving itinerary, but I’m looking forward to it.  I think it’ll be fun, festive and relaxing, which sounds perfect.

It’s also going to give us a little taste of what Christmas will be like.  Of course, Christmas is enthusiastically celebrated here, so it won’t be a “non-event”.  But, it’s going to be really strange to be away from home, and away from our family’s celebration, for Christmas.  I’m really glad we’ve decided not to ignore Thanksgiving — it’s a chance for us to take what’s familiar from home and tweak it to fit our current surroundings.  At Christmas, in particular, it’s going to be so important for us to do that — to mix the familiar and the new — so I’m glad we’re going to practice a little.

Christmas comes early

Halloween is barely celebrated here, and Thanksgiving doesn’t exist.  There have been beautiful advent calendars and Christmas sweaters in the shop windows for weeks, and preparations are well underway for the extensive Christmas markets that will soon be open.  Unlike at home, no one is embarrassed or exasperated about it — without Halloween and Thanksgiving, there’s really no reason NOT to start the celebration of Christmas.

As if on cue, the weather here today felt like something out of Dickens (minus the snow).  This evening in Vienna was cold, foggy and damp.  Walking through Michaelerplatz, watching the horse drawn carriages go by, I could easily imagine the opening scenes to “A Christmas Carol”.

Our Halloween pumpkins are still in good form, but soon, it’ll be time to deck our halls, too.  I’m very excited about Christmas — it’s the time of year I’m most looking forward to experiencing in Vienna.  Culturally, Christmas is bound to be very different here — I suspect Austria will celebrate more religiously than I’m used to at home.  And the secular icons are different, as well — they have Saint Nicholas here, rather than Santa Claus, and the Christmas tree tradition is executed differently.

I’d better find out the salient differences, because with Benjamin being in school, he’s going to hear about them.  He’s has already started his mental Christmas list for Santa — and one for Liam, too — and he told me this evening that he’s concerned that Santa will be able to get in to our house, but maybe not out again.  He’s planning ahead.  Me too.

Halloween, Austria style

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I love Halloween.  I have so many memories of it from my childhood — picking and carving pumpkins, dressing up and going trick-or-treating, going to creepy houses, on spooky hayrides, or through haunted forests, or just staying home and giving out candy.  I like it 023all.  Benjamin has experiencesd enough of Halloweens at this point to remember it, and to look forward to it this year.  So, although we really didn’t know how Austriants celebrated Hallloween, it was important to me that we do something to make the occassion.

Benjamin really wanted to go trick-or-treating, but after our first investigations, the prospects looked pretty dim.  This time of year in Austria is much more about celebating fall than it is about celebrating Halloween.  But, we persisted, and finally found out (through an American coworker of Dan’s) about a little bit of trick-or-treating done in Vienna.  It took a while to get the details, but we finally found out exactly where to go.

IMG_2124So, we set about making things happen.  We made treat bags for the kids (as our treat pumpkins are apparently in storage at home) and dug out costumes.  Dan came home a bit early from work, and we got everyone dressed and ready and headed out.  We took the tram, then took the same tram again (got a little lost), hopped on a bus, rode it out to the end, and trekked up a really big hill.

We’d been told that the houses participating in trick-or-treating would be decorated and easy to find.  The first house we tried — no one home.  But, we continued up the hill and came upon an entire neighborhood of homes decorated in pumpkin lights or jack-o-lanterns.  By the second house, Benjamin was bounding up to the door shouting, “Trick or treat!” before the door was even opened.  By the time we were through the one neighborhood, we had successfully visited about a half dozen IMG_2136houses.  Benjamin had a fantastic time, and Liam, who was enjoying his first trick-or-treat (he slept through last year) had a great time and kept his costume on the entire time.  We walked back down the hill, got on the bus, walked for a bit, got on the same bus again (not lost this time), got on the tram and came home.  Then, we lit the pumpkins and had the boys try out their trick-or-treat skills here at home.  It was a successful evening.

Trick-or-treating defintely seems to be an American thing:  every house we went to was inhabited by Americans, and most of the trick-or-treaters we came across were English speaking.  But it’s catching on here — we saw a few groups of German-speaking kids going from house to house, and a few of the houses we went to this evening had run out of candy (before 8:00), so I’m guessing that they had more people come by their houses than they IMG_2146did last year.  We saw a few costumed kids on the way back, as well (including one little girl with quite a bucket full of treats).  The Austrian kids seem to be as in to the “tricks” as the “treats” — we encountered “silly string” and shaving cream all along our route.

We didn’t really experience an Austrian Halloween — we experienced an American Halloween transplanted here.  Mostly, we want to try to experience local culture while we’re here, but for today, my kids got to have their Halloween, and so did I.  I’m happy we did it, even if it was a little American.  We all had a good time, but Halloween is definitely something I miss about home.

 

Standard Time

We have Daylight Saving Time here in Austria, just like in the US, but it ends a week earlier, so we’re now 5 hours off from Eastern Time, instead of 6 . . . until next week, when we’ll be back at 6 again.  (I apologize, in advance, for anyone I call or text at an inappropriate time back in the States this week.)

Theoretically, this means that we got an extra hour of sleep last night, but since Liam is simultaneously teething and congested with a cold, there was very little sleep to be had around our house last night.  We will, however, be appreciating the shift in hours that the cessation of Daylight Saving Time provides — at least temporarily.  The kids have been sleeping in later and later in the mornings as the sunrise gets later.  This is great — it is a fantastic change from what we were experiencing in June and July:  morning waking times around 5 a.m. — however, since I have a hard time making myself wake a sleeping child, we’ve ended up with some rushed (and late) mornings recently.  Hopefully this will help get the kids up, and Dan to work, on time, more easily.  (For a while, at least.)

I can tell, though, after just one day of this schedule, that the evenings are going to take some getting used to.  By 4:30 today, dusk was starting to settle and it was truly dark by about 5:15.  For trick or treating tomorrow, it’ll be perfect — nice and dark before we even go out.  But dusk at 4:30 in October feels a little ominous — we have nearly 2 months of decreasing sunlight ahead of us.  It’s already noticeably different than what I’m used to.  The light here is beautiful — it’s like having morning or afternoon sun all day long.  The sun is never quite overhead — “high” noon really isn’t.

Soon, we’ll be getting up and leaving the house in the dark;  often coming home in the dark, as well.  As we move further into winter at this latitude, I know that each moment of sunlight will become increasingly precious to us.  We’ll be looking forward to the days of 5 a.m. sunrises very soon.

Danke, Amigo!

There are a lot of things we’re hoping to take from this experience of living abroad — memories of travel throughout Europe, the calm confidence that comes from having conquered a massive challenge, the perspective that comes from living out of your comfort zone.  And, for the kids (if not also for us) hopefully a little bit of German speaking ability.

With Benjamin being in school, I imagine that he, at least, will leave here with a good working knowledge of German.  As he gets more comfortable at school, they’ll be phasing the English out and the German in, and I’m confident that he’ll pick it up.  It’s amazing to me how much he’s learning already.

As much as TV is maligned when it comes to toddlers and preschoolers, I actually have to give the shows we’ve been watching a lot of the credit so far.  Probably about half of the TV that Benjamin watches in a day (and he probably averages about 3-4 hours per day — I know, that’s a lot) is in German.  Much as I am sheepish about the amount that he watches, I can’t deny that he’s learning something from it.  He will often recite words in German that I recognize solely from the TV he watches, and he’s now showing a preference for the shows that are in German — he’ll even ask me to change the soundtrack on many of his favorite English language shows to German.

In fact, he’s picking up a surprising variety of language from TV.  In addition to the German, he’s learned several words of Chinese from “Ni Hao, Kai Lan” and he’s learning Spanish from “Diego”.  So far, though, his mental categories of language include “English” and an “other” that can be called German, Spanish or Chinese but which consists of all the same words.  In other words, he comfortably mixes words he’s learned from each language together, and even gets frustrated with the inconsistency — the other day, he sternly told Diego on TV that the word for “pull” isn’t “jala” (Spanish) it’s “la” (Chinese).

Just today, he was telling one of his toys, “Danke, Amigo!”  Not only was it impossibly cute, but it makes me hopeful for his future linguistic understanding.  He’s only 3, but with learning things like this, it’s an advantage.  What a souvenir to take with him when we go home — not just the ability to speak and understand German, but the confidence that it will give him to go out in the world.