On my own

We’ve been here just about two and a half months now.  That works out to about 1750 hours (which, really, doesn’t sound like that many).  Today, I took an hour by myself for the first time since we’ve been here.  At home, I used to get a little crazy if I hadn’t had a morning or an afternoon off every week.  The first few weeks we were here I really noticed not having that time for myself, but after a few weeks it became normal to not get a break, so now I’m pretty much used to it (but that’s not to say that I think that’s a good idea).

I always have a hard time going out on my own without my kids.  Even though my days are intense and my kids drive me crazy sometimes, I miss them terribly when we aren’t together and I feel like I’m missing out on the moments they’re spending without me.  But, my nerves have been a bit frayed lately, and I recognize that I need a little “me” time, so I packed up my book and a bottle of water and went out (reluctantly).

012It was marvelous.  I walked down to the Spanish Riding School, ordered a chai at Starbucks (in German!) and sat and read and enjoyed Vienna.  I took a walk, looked at the buildings and saw (literally, for the first time) the beautiful rooftops and statues along them.  I can’t usually look up that high — my attention is focused much closer to the ground.  It was strange for me to realize how much I *don’t* see when I’m out with the kids.  It was great to feel the liberty that comes from moving unencumbered — I could have walked anywhere, gotten on a train, or a bus, or walked into any shop, even one — gasp! — with stairs in the entrance.

Both Dan & I recognize that it’s important for me to take a little time, so now that our lives are settling down a bit, we’re going to be sure it’s a priority every weekend.  I’m sure I’ll still miss the boys when I’m out, but I’m excited to experience Vienna not just as a mom.  I can’t wait to see what I’ll get to see next time.

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