I’m a mom.  That’s basically like being a professional worrier.  On days like today, when B’s class is on a day-long field trip to the zoo, I worry extra.  He’s only 4, and although he’s now done these trips many times, it’s a lot for me to imagine my little guy taking a bus and two U-bahns with his kindergarten class.  And then, he’ll be out for 8 hours, well supervised, but without me (just the potty implications for a little guy who prefers to “go” at home are worrisome).  And then there’s the same trek back to school.  I was thinking about him all day, and trying not to obsess (unsuccessfully, although Liam did keep me pretty busy all on his own).

I worry that he could (in no kind of sane or logical order of likelihood or severity, much like they come into my head) wander off, get left behind, be abducted (the mind of a mommy is harsh place, full of unlikely worst case scenarios), get hurt, have a potty accident (or two or three), get sunburned, not get enough to eat or drink, feel left out, get overly tired, not understand what’s going on, not be understood when he needs to say something, and, because this is Austria and there is definitely a “don’t be stupid”/personal responsibility mentality here, I also can’t entirely put aside a (hopefully unfounded) fear that he’s going to climb into the lion enclosure or attempt to go swimming with the hippos (seriously, I fixated on the hippo thing for a good 20 minutes earlier when Liam was napping).

In short, there was no way I was going to feel better until Dan texted me to tell me that he had safely picked him up, and I didn’t feel completely ok until I gave him a big hug and kiss myself.  As it turns out, none of the things I was worried about came to pass (not even a potty accident!).  He had a great day at the zoo, had lunch and two snacks (that was a highlight) and enjoyed seeing the reindeer most of all.  All my worry was wasted energy — all was well (and there was nothing I could have done if it wasn’t).  Still, it won’t stop me from being exactly the same way next time.  It’s just how it is.