Potty train?

I hope this doesn’t cause him horrific mortification one day, but Benjamin is 4 and still wears diapers.  We’ve had a little success using the potty, and many dry hours wearing underpants, but he’s still in diapers most of the time and still uses them most of the time when he has to “go”. It’s just currently his preference.

To me, this is totally a non-issue.  I think that at some point, he’ll stop wanting to use diapers, and we’ll make the switch.  No big deal.  He’s capable of using the potty, he just doesn’t want to.

It’s becoming an increasingly big deal to his school, though.  Back in April, we did a trial run without diapers.  1 week, no accidents, but he wouldn’t use the potty at school.  The teachers agreed that he wasn’t ready to make the switch, so we went back to diapers.

Now, they want to do it again, even though we’re making progress here at home and he says he wants to practice more at home before doing it at school (which is ok with me).  I think he still needs more time, but they’re pushing, even though the one English-speaking teacher is out on vacation.  Keep in mind, they haven’t changed a diaper of his in months (he’s only there for about 3 hours each day) and they’ve only EVER changed two of his poopy diapers (he likes to wait to be at home) so I don’t understand the urgency.

Why is it such a big deal?  We’re working on it and making progress.  He isn’t making any more work for them (less, certainly, than of he starts having accidents).  He’s like me — a perfectionist — and I know he doesn’t want to make the switch until he knows that he can do it “right”.

I’m ok with going on his schedule.  I think the objection from school is probably more cultural than practical, but maybe I’m wrong.  Am I the only mother of a four-year-old in diapers that isn’t worried about it?  An I missing something about why this matters to his teachers?

I don’t think he’s stressed or worried or embarrassed about being in diapers, but I worry that if the teachers make a big deal out of this that he will be.  I’d frankly rather he stop going to preschool than be anxiety-ridden about his potty habits, but that would be a shame, because he really has started to enjoy school.

I’m not sure what our next step is, but I’m not in a hurry to get on the potty train.  I know we’ll get there soon enough, and looking back, it won’t matter if it happens in August or in January, so I don’t see the point in spending a lot of energy on it.

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