I believe that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be — that fate, or God, or the universe has brought me to this place at this time because this is where I’m supposed to be and what I’m supposed to be doing. These are the struggles I’m supposed to be having, and overcoming. These are the experiences I need to have in order to grow. There are things for me to learn and work on here that are important for me.
The only other time I’ve experienced such a sudden, massive shift in my world view and self-perception was when my children were born. I’m learning to see myself differently: I’m capable of more than I thought I was capable of, I’m stronger than I thought I was, and I’m less perfect than I want to be — but that bar is set too high, anyway. I’m learning to see the world differently: all around me, people are struggling more than I realized, little changes in our comfort level make huge differences in our experience of the world around us, and people can be unexpectedly kind or surprisingly indifferent to each other.
I’m making some new friends, and I know that they, likewise, have been brought to me at this moment because we ought to be around each other. It’s a wonderful thing to make new connections. I am more grateful for the friendships I am forming here, and for those I am missing so much from home, than I ever have been before — it is something I had taken for granted.
I’m searching for (and finding) peace in this experience, even amidst the struggle and the chaos. I’m looking for the lessons, and I’m trying to learn them. This experience is not so much making me someone different than I was before, but it is introducing me to parts of myself I didn’t know were there.